The Ellen G. White Letters and Manuscripts: Volume 1
Ms 5, 1859
January 1—March 31, 1859 1EGWLM 581.1
Diary,1 Probably this is Ellen White's first regular diary. If there are earlier diaries, they have not been preserved. Arthur L. White argues plausibly that Ellen White was motivated to start a diary by the difficulties she experienced in writing her first major autobiographical work (Spiritual Gifts [vol. 2]), which was started in 1858 and published in 1860. In the foreword to that book she admits having “labored under great disadvantages, as I have had to depend in many instances, on memory, having kept no journal till within a few years.” It may well be that in order to forestall such problems in the future she started keeping a diary in 1859. See: Arthur L. White, Ellen G. White: The Early Years, p. 394; Ellen G. White, Spiritual Gifts [vol. 2], p. iii.
Portions of this manuscript are published in Ellen G. White, Selected Messages, book 2, p. 337; book 3, pp. 261, 262; idem, Welfare Ministry, pp. 322-325; idem, Manuscript Releases, vol. 3, pp. 136-142; vol. 4, p. 437; vol. 7, pp. 216, 217; Arthur L. White, Ellen G. White: The Early Years, pp. 396-400.
[Battle Creek, Michigan] Sabbath, January 1
It is the commencement of the new year. The Lord gave James [James Springer White] liberty Sabbath afternoon in preaching upon the necessary preparation for baptism and to partake of the Lord's supper. There was much feeling in the congregation. At intermission, all repaired to the water, where seven followed their Lord in baptism. It was a powerful season and of the deepest interest. Two little sisters about eleven years old were baptized.2 One, Cornelia C.,3 prayed in the water to be kept unspotted from the world. 1EGWLM 581.3
In the eve the church followed the example of their Lord and washed one another's feet, and then partook of the Lord's supper. There was rejoicing and weeping in that house. The place was awful, and yet glorious, on account of the presence of the Lord. 1EGWLM 581.4
[Battle Creek] Sunday, January 2
Sister Augusta Bognes4 was sent for to assist me to prepare for another journey.5 Made a coat for Edson [James Edson White]. He will accompany us. We tried to comfort Augusta. She is cast down and discouraged; health poor, and no one to depend on. She has laid aside her armor and shield of faith. May the Lord strengthen the weak hands and confirm the feeble knees. Gave Sister Irving [Catherine Irving]6 a warm cloak and dress and a few other things to make over for her.7 1EGWLM 582.1
[Battle Creek] Monday, January 3
Went to the office; called in at Brother Loughborough's [John Norton Loughborough]8 and at my sister's.9 Wrote seven pages to Doctor Naramore [John Naramore],10 Identity: The February 3, 1859, issue of the Review mentions “Bro. and sister Naramore of Rochester, who have lately embraced the truth.” Other letters and receipts from 1859 and early 1860 add the title “Dr.” and the initial “J.” The 1860 census gives the full name “John Naramore”—a dentist living in Rochester, New York. None of the 10 letters mentioned under January 3 and January 4 are in the White Estate archives except the letter to Bro. Hastings (see Lt 1a, 1859 [Jan. 4]). See: Search term “Naramore” in Words of the Pioneers; 1860 U.S. Federal Census, “John Naramore,” New York, Monroe County, Rochester, Ward 7, p. 335; J. N. Loughborough, “Sketches of the Past—No. 114,” Pacific Union Recorder, Aug. 17, 1911, p. 1.
[Battle Creek] Tuesday, January 4
Went to the office. Wrote a number of letters to different ones who were acquainted with our experience. Wished them to call up the events and write them to us.14 Wrote to Brother Hastings [Leonard W. Hastings] of New Ipswich, N.H., Brother Collins [Philip Collins] of Dartmouth, Mass., Noah Lunt [Noah Norton Lunt] of Portland, Me., and Brother Nichols [Otis Nichols]15 of Dorchester, Mass. Wrote a vision given me for Brother Bates. 1EGWLM 583.1
[See also Lt 1a, 1859, written on this date.] 1EGWLM 584.1
[Battle Creek] Wednesday, January 5
Thought of remaining at home to prepare for my journey. At noon James said they needed help at the office. I went down to help them. There was a difficulty in the press. No papers to fold. All waiting for work. While waiting I wrote to Brother Benedict's [Joseph Perry Benedict]16 family. While [I was] busily engaged in writing, Sister McClemule17 came in. I must leave to talk with her. Jenny [Jane Fraser],18 Mother, and Willie [William Clarence White] came next. Showed them the press. Jenny and Mother spent the afternoon with Sister Smith.19 While [I was] folding, Sister Cornell [Cornelia A. Cornell]20 came in and wished me to go down street to get some things for Roxanna.21 Walked down, got the things, returned to Brother Smith's for supper, then home with Jenny, Mother, James, Edson, and Willie. Found Father very cheerful at home. 1EGWLM 584.2
[See also Lt 13, 1859, written on this date.] 1EGWLM 585.1
[Battle Creek] Thursday, January 6
Made a cap and a vest for Edson. At night am very weary. Gave Agnes [Agnes Irving]22 a half-worn dress paramatta23 for her mother. They are poor. The husband and father is sick. Their crops have failed. They have breadstuff to buy and nothing to buy with. Agnes is their main support.24 She is only seventeen. There are four children now at home. They must suffer unless the church interest themselves in their behalf. May the Lord have mercy upon the needy, and put it into His children's hearts to dispense to them with a liberal hand.25 1EGWLM 585.2
[Otsego, Michigan] Friday, January 7
Went to Otsego26 to Brother Leighton's [George Leighton].27 It was a cold drive, yet we kept quite comfortable. Slept well that night. 1EGWLM 585.3
[Otsego] Sabbath, January 8
It is the holy Sabbath. May we honor and glorify God today. 1EGWLM 585.4
We went with Brother Leighton in his sleigh to Otsego, four miles [six kilometers]. It was very cold; could hardly keep comfortable. Found the meetinghouse not very warm. All were so cold. Must take time to get warm. Brother Loughborough preached upon the judgment. Then I said a few words. Not very free. Then the church readily gave in their testimonies. Many of those who were Cranmer's [Gilbert Cranmer]28 followers were present.29 They wished to know why there should be a division. They said the house of God was not divided; that as God was with us so He was with them, that Cranmer preached the same as Brother Loughborough preached.30 They sang a great deal, and we felt that it was time for us to speak. I said a few words, then John explained who had made the division. They seemed displeased. We felt freer.31 1EGWLM 585.5
[Otsego] Sunday, January 9
Rested well last night, but feel a depression of spirits this morning. It is very cold today. Word has been brought to us that the Baptist meetinghouse has been locked up to keep us out. They do not hold meetings there themselves, neither will they let us enter. 1EGWLM 586.1
We held meetings in Brother Russell's [Lester Russell]32 house. The room was filled. A number of new ones were out to hear. John had much freedom. There was deep feeling in the meeting both forenoon and afternoon. The saints were strengthened. I had freedom in exhorting the people. Some wept aloud. Brother Hatten's [Lewis Hadden] brother and his wife33 were present. They are not in present truth. They know not God. They seemed deeply affected. That meeting will be long remembered. Cranmer's followers were present. The Lord gave us liberty and His salvation. We closed the meeting with the victory. 1EGWLM 587.1
[Allegan, Michigan] Monday, January 10
Left Brother Leighton's Monday afternoon for Allegan. Was heartily received by Dr. Lay's [Horatio S. Lay] family. Sister Lay [Julia M. Lay]34 seems free. Had a pleasant interview with the family. The Lord met with us at our season of prayer, yet my spirits are somewhat depressed. 1EGWLM 587.2
[Monterey, Michigan]35 Tuesday, January 11
Went to Brother Rumery's [Sylsbre R. Rumery].36 Was well received. His brother's wife was visiting with them. I never saw them in so good a state of mind as at this time. The Lord has been working for them. They feel more the spirit of present truth than I ever saw them have before.37 In the evening, Brother George Lay [George T. Lay], his wife, and Sister Jones [Elizabeth Jones]38 came. We had a very interesting interview, relating some of the interesting incidents of our eastern journey. We had a season of prayer before we parted. Brother Rumery prayed like a little child. Seemed to feel much for his children. The Spirit of the Lord was with us, and we felt that our interview was profitable. 1EGWLM 587.3
[Monterey] Wednesday, January 12
Wednesday morn had a solemn season of prayer. Brother Rumery felt deeply. He again pled with God in great simplicity for his children. May the Lord answer the father's prayers and give him his children to go with him. There is an improvement in the children. They obey more readily and the oldest boy seems more steady.39 1EGWLM 588.1
I went to Brother Thompson's.40 Was gladly received, yet did not enjoy the visit; was unwell. Brother Kenyon41 has gone to Allegan. After supper I went to Brother Day's [John S. Day].42 Had quite a good visit, yet do not feel in a visiting mood. My spirits are depressed. The snow is leaving us. Brother Day proposed to go to Otsego for our wagon, and save John the journey.43 1EGWLM 588.2
[Monterey] Thursday, January 13
Brother Day carried out his proposal. He started for Allegan. We rode with him as far as Brother Oren Jones’ [Orrin B. Jones].44 We intended visiting them today. Found Sister Jones’ mother and sister there, and we drove on to Brother Leander's [Leander M. Jones].45 Brother Leander had gone hunting. Their little one is not well. 1EGWLM 589.1
[Monterey] Friday, January 14
Expected James. A letter came that he is not coming because Brother Andrews was expected.46 The church are all disappointed, for Brother Fisher's [John Fisher]47 case has been a great trial, and they intended to take up his case and enter into an examination of things which have transpired. But now we know not what to do. May the Lord direct and give wisdom. He alone can straighten things here. Brother Jones returns—no success.48 There was meeting in the evening. The house was nearly filled. John preached upon, “Whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate.” He had freedom. I then said a little upon the necessity of having decision of character, that the half-hearted and indifferent would be left behind. Those who choose eternal life will show it in their lives, and will at last obtain it. 1EGWLM 589.2
[Monterey] Sabbath, January 15
The ground is again covered with snow. Brother John preached upon the inheritance of the saints, giving the election doctrine a rub.49 The house was crowded. All listened with the greatest attention. In the afternoon I tried to talk a little. May the Lord bless my weak efforts to the good of some precious soul. 1EGWLM 590.1
In the eve there was a church meeting to investigate Father Fisher's [John Fisher] case. He broke down a little. Made some confession, and was put upon probation, not to be acknowledged as a messenger but as a learner50 of the third angel's message. His heart is not in unison with us. He is far out of the way. The church is destined still to have trials with him.51 1EGWLM 590.2
[Monterey] Sunday, January 16
Am quite sick. Went to the meeting. Was so sick I was obliged to return home to Brother Leander's. John preached on the Sanctuary. Had a free time. Took dinner at Brother James Cornell's [James Cornell].52 Brother Leighton was there and three Sister Fosters,53 and Sister McDonald54 was present. I felt so miserable I could not converse. In the afternoon I went to Brother George Lay's. Met Brother Rumery there. It was snowing fast. Had quite a pleasant interview in the eve. But Oh, why am I so depressed, why so cast down and homesick? Have I departed from God, that I am thus left in darkness? Oh, restore unto me the joys of Thy salvation; then shall my lips praise Thee and my heart rejoice. 1EGWLM 590.3
[Monterey] Monday, January 17
Felt better this morn. We remained at Brother George Lay's through the day. We feel lonesome and sad. There is but little to cheer the spirits or make the heart glad. The case of Father Fisher lies heavily upon us all. Brother Inman [Eldad Inman]55 from Wayland [Michigan] is here. It seems to me he has too much of the minister about him; he is given too much to talk; prays lengthy, and exhorts lengthy. Father Fisher read to him a long piece he had written against the visions. Brother Inman leaves us for his home. 1EGWLM 591.1
[Grand Rapids, Michigan] Tuesday, January 18
Brother Lay harnessed his horses to a sleigh and took Mary [Mary Jane Loughborough],56 Edson, and myself over the log way and over the bad going ten miles [16 kilometers] to the plank road.57 The road is very bad and rough. John followed us with the horses and wagon. We feel very thankful for the easy conveyance over the bad road. Sister Lay went with her husband for the ride. After we struck the plank, we had a good road all the way to Grand Rapids. Tarried with Brother James Cramer [James I. Cramer] over night. Had a good visit with them. Brother Cramer is a cripple—caused by a fall from a building. I am so weary and lame through riding I cannot move without suffering pain. 1EGWLM 591.2
[Wright] Wednesday, January 19
Have slept but little through the night. A little daughter was born to add to Brother and Sister Cramer's responsibilities. The mother and child are comfortable. 1EGWLM 592.1
In the afternoon we went to Wright. Brother Cramer, the elder [Christopher G. Cramer],58 took a seat in our carriage to pilot us. He is acquainted with the road. It is a good road. Have no milk for Teresa [Teresa C. Loughborough].59 She cries. Oh, that we may be as earnest for the bread of life as she is for temporal food! She will not be satisfied. May our earnest cries go up to God for His salvation. About dark arrived at Brother Root's [Ephraim Henry Root]. They welcomed us heartily. It is a good home with plenty of house room. Sister Root [Hezzy Root]60 is in feeble health. There was a meeting in the evening. We were too weary to go. John and Brother Cramer went. Had a good meeting. 1EGWLM 592.2
[Wright] Thursday, January 20
Rested well through the past night. Feel lonesome today. It is dark and rainy. This is an excellent family. In the afternoon, Brethren Frisbie [Joseph Birchard Frisbie] and Rhodes [Samuel W. Rhodes]61 came. Brother Frisbie informs us that my husband will not come.62 Am very sorry. Our labors should be together. 1EGWLM 592.3
[Wright] Friday, January 21
Feel a little more cheerful in spirits. Meeting commenced today. The house was well filled.63 They came from Caledonia, Rome, Vergennes, Ionia [all in Michigan]. 1EGWLM 593.1
Sabbath drawing on. Had a lengthy meeting in the afternoon and none in the evening. Many testimonies were given in. Many of them lacked the Spirit. I spoke a little; feel deeply my unworthiness. 1EGWLM 593.2
I have felt so homesick on the journey. I fear that I have not been willing to sacrifice the company of my husband and children to do others good. I desire a willingness to make a whole sacrifice and crucify every selfish feeling. I feel a lack of the Spirit of God. Have had a weeping time before the Lord. And again while attempting to bear testimony in meeting, my heart was full. I could not refrain from weeping. 1EGWLM 593.3
[Wright] Sabbath, January 22
This morning I have been pleading and wrestling with God. I have a gleam of light but this cannot satisfy me. I must know that my way pleases God. Went to the meeting with a heavy heart. Am much depressed in spirit.64 I fear my work has hindered me from communing with God as much as I should. There were about three hundred present—a very attentive congregation. Deep interest was manifested. Brother John Loughborough had freedom in talking. He dwelt on the inheritance of the saints. The same subject was continued in the afternoon. His tongue is like the pen of a ready writer. The people of God seem hungry for the bread of life. They eagerly devour every word that is spoken. I try to exhort; have not much liberty. Something holds me. Oh, that [five illegible words] that confine me, and bear a testimony that will reach the heart. Meeting closed at five o'clock. No meeting in the evening. Quite a number tarry at Brother Root's. Their prayers lack faith and energy; are dry and formal. And I am enveloped in clouds and am much discouraged. Oh, that I might come to the feet of Jesus and tell Him all my wants! I shall claim the promises of God through all my unworthiness. He will appear for me and set me free. My soul thirsteth for God. I long for His salvation. 1EGWLM 593.4
[Wright] Sunday, January 23
Meeting commenced at half past eight and the house was well filled. It was a prayer and conference meeting. The exhortations and prayers were more spirited. No time was lost. Two or three arose at once to speak. One sister arose three times and could not speak. Others would arise and she sat down. At length she gave it up. The conference meeting ended. Brother Loughborough gave an interesting discourse which would tend to wean the hearts of the people of God from earth, turn their attention from their trials, and cause them to work for the things which are unseen, which are eternal. There was a short intermission. Brother Loughborough again gave an interesting, appropriate discourse. I then followed in exhortation. Had freedom and victory, speaking of the life and sufferings of Christ and of His coming the second time, the Life-Giver to raise the dead and change the living. 1EGWLM 594.1
In the evening Brother Frisbie preached upon the Sabbath. He did not have his usual liberty. Brother Loughborough said a few words and I followed, saying a few words, that none of us were compelled to receive salvation but we could receive it if we would. We could choose life or death. Many desire life but do not choose it. They love the world, its fashion, its pleasure, and they plainly show they have not chosen eternal life. Their treasure is here. This world is their home. The lives of those who choose life and salvation will be marked with their choice. Their conduct will say plainly that they are seeking a better country, even a heavenly, a city that hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Our meetings closed this night. 1EGWLM 594.2
[Grand Rapids, Michigan] Monday, January 24
We rode to Grand Rapids to Brother Cramer's, the elder. Many have stopped on their way home—a large company for whom to get dinner, but it passed off very agreeably. In the eve I went up to young Brother Cramer's; had some conversation with them and then a season of prayer. I felt called out to pray for the elder Brother Cramer, who is deeply afflicted with ill health and lameness. Had some freedom in prayer. I believe he will be speedily strengthened to glorify God. We feel that our evening's interview was profitable. 1EGWLM 594.3
[Caledonia, Michigan] Tuesday, January 25
It looks like a storm. I feel rather cast down. My teeth troubled me through the night. We rode 14 miles [22 kilometers] to Brother Hardy's [William J. Hardy].65 Brother Cramer did not give us the right directions, and we went four miles [six kilometers] out of our way. Did not arrive at Brother Hardy's until dinner time. It was snowing fast. We were heartily welcomed by the family. A good dinner was soon in readiness for us, of which we thankfully partook. This is a colored family. Although the house is poor and old, everything is arranged with neatness and exact order. The children are well behaved, intelligent, and interesting. May I yet have a better acquaintance with this dear family. The meeting is four miles [six kilometers] beyond Brother Hardy's. They accompanied us to the meeting. It was held in a private house. Brother Loughborough talked for thirty minutes on the gift of the Spirit of God. Then I spoke of neatness and order. 1EGWLM 594.4
[Battle Creek, Michigan] Wednesday, January 26
Rested but little the past night. Brother Gerald [Lyman Gerould]66 is poor, yet with a warm heart. He welcomed us to his humble house and provided for us as well as he could. 1EGWLM 595.1
It is a beautiful day. We feared we should be obliged to ride in a storm, but we have a very good road and everything seems favorable. We are homeward bound today and expect before night to meet husband and children. At noon took a dry luncheon at an old hotel, while the horses were feeding.67 Joyfully, we again met our family. Little Willie seems overjoyed to meet us again. Poor child, he has been very sick in my absence. Is now better but looks miserable. My husband has been sick, but the Lord has preserved their lives. With gratitude to God I take my place in my family again. There is no place to be so dearly prized as home. 1EGWLM 595.2
[Battle Creek] Thursday, January 27
Rested but little the past night. Was so thankful and happy to meet my family again and to be in the society of my husband and children [that] I could not sleep. Have a headache through the day. 1EGWLM 596.1
[Battle Creek] Friday, January 28
Had the privilege of sitting at the table with my husband's father and mother68 and my father and mother. We enjoyed the interview much. 1EGWLM 596.2
[Battle Creek] Saturday, January 29
Have spent a very restless night. My lungs are very sore. Every breath causes me pain. Cannot attend meeting today. 1EGWLM 596.3
At noon Sister Kelsey [Eunice Rebecca Kelsey]69 came up to take dinner with us. 1EGWLM 596.4
[Battle Creek] Wednesday, February 2
My lungs trouble me very much. 1EGWLM 596.5
[Battle Creek] Thursday, February 3
Very sick all day with sick headache. Henry Pierce [Henry Harlow Pierce],70 from Monterey, was at our house. Sent Sister Leander Jones [Harriet Jones]71 some things for her children, and Jenny sent her her best bonnet. May the Lord enable us to see the wants of the poor and give us a ready and willing heart to supply them.72 1EGWLM 596.6
[Battle Creek] Friday, February 4
Health poor. Went to the stores with Brother Bates and Augusta Bognes.73 They purchased a coat for Brother Bates [Joseph Bates].74 1EGWLM 597.1
[Battle Creek] Saturday, February 5
Attended meeting all day. James preached twice. Had freedom. His text was, “This generation shall not pass, until all these things be fulfilled.” In the afternoon I had a free time as I bore testimony. Brethren Carmen [John Frost Carman] and Street [Sherman A. Street]75 tarried with us all night. They urge us strongly to come to their place. 1EGWLM 597.2
[Battle Creek] Sunday, February 6
Visited my mother;76 obtained some facts in my experience.77 1EGWLM 597.3
[Battle Creek] Monday, February 7
Sent a letter to my sister Mary [Mary Plummer Foss] and one to Jane Seaman.78 Visited my mother in the afternoon; made her a cap. Had a conversation with Robert Holland79 in the evening. Sarah's [Sarah B. Belden]80 hired girl was sick. 1EGWLM 598.1
[Battle Creek] Tuesday, February 8
Wrote a letter to Sister Drusilla Lampson [Drusilla Lamson]81 and Sister Mary Chase.82 In the afternoon visited Sister Lyon [Deborah Lyon],83 in company with Mother White [Betsey White]84 and Sister Ballou.85 Had quite a pleasant interview. Cut and made some caps for Mother. It may be the last time I shall have the privilege of making caps for her head,86 but my prayer is that she may wear a crown of glory in the kingdom of heaven. Brother Den87 has been thrown down and beaten by drunken men. Two men interfered. Brother Den complained of the men. They were shut up last night. They have their trial today. The same men struck my husband three times with a whip. Did not hurt him. The world is growing worse and worse. My prayer is, O Lord, gather not my soul with sinners, nor my life with bloody men. 1EGWLM 598.2
[Battle Creek] Wednesday, February 9
Had a good season of family prayer. My soul hungers and thirsts for salvation and holiness of heart. My anxiety is great for my children. I was led out to cry earnestly to God for them that they may be subjects of His grace and heirs of salvation. Wrote my twin sister88 a letter, also one to my sister Mary and one to Brother and Sister Folsom [Paul and Margaret Folsom].89 1EGWLM 599.1
[Battle Creek] Thursday, February 10
Am not well. In the forenoon Sister Harriet Smith [Harriet N. Smith]90 visited us. In the afternoon Sister Kellogg [Ann Janette Kellogg]91 came and, 1EGWLM 599.2
Picture: Ellen White's diary entries from February and March 1859
Picture: Ellen White's diary entries from June and September 1859
soon after, Sister Grant [Nancy Grant],92 and spent the afternoon with us. In the eve Warren93 came up and I had some conversation with him. Some need to be held in with bit and bridle. It is hard for me to believe that such are Christians. They seem to have no responsibility but have to be entreated and carried upon the shoulders of others. 1EGWLM 602.2
I cannot keep out of my mind the words of our Saviour, “Strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leadeth unto life, and few there be which find it; because wide is the gate and broad is the way that leadeth unto death, and many there be which go in thereat.” Who will choose Christ as his portion and be willing to suffer trial and affliction for His sake? Who will cheerfully endure the trials and without fretfulness make any required sacrifice? Oh, it is a great thing to know the fellowship of Christ's sufferings; yet we must know this. We must so enter into the life of Christ that we can realize in a degree the great sacrifice made for us and consider that any privation or sacrifice that we can make to make others happy and to save souls is aiding in the plan of salvation. Thus we are coworkers with God, coworkers with His angels. 1EGWLM 602.1
[Battle Creek] Friday, February 11
Am not well. Unable to write. Keep my chamber nearly all day. 1EGWLM 602.2
[Battle Creek] Sabbath, February 12
Sabbath attended meeting all day. Brethren Charles Jones [Charles Jones] and Henry Pierce [Henry Harlow Pierce]94 were present. My husband preached in the forenoon, How shall a young man cleanse his ways? etc. It seemed to be a right and proper subject, appropriate for the people. In the afternoon we had a conference meeting. It was a profitable time. The presence of the Lord was with us. Free testimonies were borne and all who have recently professed the truth bore their testimony. Agnes [Agnes Irving]95 spoke. I never heard her before. Brother Jones and Brother Pierce tarried with us over the night. 1EGWLM 602.3
[Battle Creek] Sunday, February 13
Have some little freedom in writing. My carpet was brought home today, and Sister Byington [Catherine Byington]96 offers to give me the weaving of it. It is very kind in her. Do not know as I ought to accept it. 1EGWLM 603.1
[Battle Creek] Sabbath, February 19
The Lord was with us in meeting. 1EGWLM 603.2
[Battle Creek] Monday, February 21
Sent a letter of eight pages to Dr. Naramore [John Naramore]97 and a couple of pages to Brother Orton [Jonathan T. Orton].98 1EGWLM 603.3
[See also Lt 31, 1859, written on this date.] 1EGWLM 603.4
[Battle Creek] Sabbath, February 26
Had a good meeting. There was preaching in the forenoon and prayer and conference in the eve. It is encouraging to see those who have lately embraced the truth so ready to bear their testimony. May the Lord build them up in the most holy faith and strengthen them to run the whole length of the Christian road that they may obtain an everlasting victory, a rich and glorious reward. 1EGWLM 603.5
My lungs are very painful. Every breath causes me distress. In the eve Brother and Sister Godsmark [Richard and Huldah Jane Godsmark]99 visited us to spend the night with us. I suffered so much pain I could not sit up. Unwillingly I retired. I was disappointed; had hoped to enjoy the society of these Christian friends. I passed through considerable suffering before sleeping. 1EGWLM 603.6
[Battle Creek] Monday, February 28
Mary Loughborough came here; stopped with us to dinner. Her baby was sick.100 In the afternoon went in to Sister Ratel's [Marguerite Ratelle].101 Had a pleasant interview. Her babe had on an old, torn, white dress—the best he has except one that she keeps to put on him when she goes out with him. She speaks of her children that died two years since.102 She does not wish them alive again. The family are all poor. The oldest girl much prizes a Bible I gave her. She reads out of it to her parents.103 Sister R's health is very poor. Has spit blood. I fear she will not fill her place in her family long.104 She tries to do right. Her husband is a poor, wicked, passionate man and she has great trials. May the Lord sustain her. She begs us to pray for her that she may do right at all times. 1EGWLM 604.1
[Battle Creek] Tuesday, March 1
Walked to the office. Called to see Sister Sarah and Mother. Sarah gave me a little dress and two aprons for Sister Ratel's babe. I then called on Sister Aurora Lockwood [Aurora B. Lockwood].105 Had a pleasant interview with her. She is a choice sister, beloved of God and highly respected of all the church. 1EGWLM 605.1
I rode down to the city and purchased a few things. Bought a little dress for Sister Ratel's babe. Came to the office, assisted them a little there and then came home to dinner. Sent the little articles to Sister Ratel. Mary Loughborough sends her another dress, so she will do very well now. Oh, that all knew the sweetness of giving to the poor, of helping do others good and making others happy! The Lord opened my heart to do all in my power to relieve those around me. Give me to feel my brother's woe! 1EGWLM 605.2
[Battle Creek] Wednesday, March 2
Unwell all day. Tried to write a little. Sister Kelsey and her son called on us. Sister Kelsey [Eunice Rebecca Kelsey]106 seems sad. She brought wheat to sell and it is musty. Cannot dispose of it. She needs means to use.107 We prepared her a warm meal and had her sit down and partake of it before starting for the 13-mile [21-kilometer] ride home. It is chilly weather. I lent her a cloak; feared she would suffer. I feel the deepest sympathy for this devoted widow. She has been a kind friend to us and in time of need has assisted us liberally.108 May the Lord abundantly bless the widow and be her God and husband, and be a God to the fatherless. I look upon my kind husband and see that God has dealt very mercifully with me in sparing to me my husband and dear children. Oh, my heart shall always be grateful for His rich mercy and loving kindness. 1EGWLM 605.3
[Battle Creek] Thursday, March 3
My health is very poor. Am troubled with severe cramp in my side. Have some fear as to the result. I cannot stand straight, and walk with much pain and difficulty. Intended visiting the brother Dan [?] John.109 It is impossible to go. I feel a strange weakness. Gain some strength by taking a little tomato wine.110 1EGWLM 606.1
[Battle Creek] Friday, March 4
I have a strong desire to get nearer to God. My heart pants after God, the living God. My time is employed in sewing. Made two caps for my boys. In the eve, at the commencement of the Sabbath, we assembled at Brother T. Meade's [Thomas B. Mead] to pray for him, that God would heal him of his disease. He is fast going down, and unless God in mercy raises him, he will go down into the grave. We had unusual freedom in prayer for Thomas.111 I was abundantly blessed. How precious the name of Jesus sounded to me. Brother John Andrews came to this city last night. We have met today and he took dinner with us. Has related particulars concerning his visit at R. We listened with great interest.112 1EGWLM 606.2
[Battle Creek] Sabbath, March 5
Did not attend meeting today. My husband was sick. Have remained with him to wait upon him. The Lord met with us and blessed us this morn. I had unusual liberty in prayer. Brother John Andrews preached twice today. He spent the eve and night with us. We enjoyed the visit much. 1EGWLM 607.1
[Battle Creek] Sunday, March 6
Had an interview with Martha Byington [Martha Dormer Amadon (née Byington)].113 Cut out a dress. We were perplexed; took it all to pieces and made it over. Spent the afternoon with [Mary] Loughborough; attended meeting in the eve. Had quite a free, interesting meeting. After it was time to close, the subject of voting was considered and dwelt upon. James first talked, then Brother Andrews talked, and it was thought by them best to give their influence in favor of right and against wrong. They think it right to vote in favor of temperance men being in office in our city, instead of—by their silence—running the risk of having men of non-temperance put in office. Brother Hewitt [David Hewitt]114 told his experience of a few days, and is settled that it is right to cast his vote. Brother Hart talked well. Brother Lyon [Henry Lyon] opposed. No other objected to voting, but Brother Kellogg [John Preston Kellogg] begins to feel that it is right. Pleasant feelings exist among all the brethren. Oh, that they may all act in the fear of God. Men of intemperance have been in the office today, in a flattering manner expressing their approbation of the course of Sabbathkeepers in not voting, and expressing hope that they will stick to their course and, like the Quakers, not cast their vote. Satan and his evil angels are busy at this time and he has a work upon the earth. May Satan be disappointed, is my prayer.115 1EGWLM 607.2
[Battle Creek] Monday, March 7
It is rainy today. It looks very gloomy without, but if the Sun of righteousness shines in my heart all is well and no outward appearance and gloom can make me sad. Today the votes are cast for town officers. 1EGWLM 608.1
[Battle Creek] Tuesday, March 8
It is a day when infirmities are striving for the victory. I suffer much pain in my left shoulder and lung. My spirits are depressed. Brother John Andrews leaves today. He came up to visit us in the eve. Had a pleasant interview. I got together a few things for him to take home. Send Angeline [Angeline Andrews]116 a new calico dress, nine shillings [$1.12],117 and a stout pair of calfskin shoes. Father gives the making of the shoes and the making of a pair of boots for Brother John Andrews. I send the little boy a nice little flannel shirt and yarn to knit him a pair of stockings. I send Sister, or Mother, Andrews [Sarah L. Andrews] a nice large cape, well wadded, for her to wear. I made a bag to put them in, of towel cloth. Wrote three small pages to Sister Mary Chase.118 In it wrote recipe obtained from John's.119 1EGWLM 608.2
[Battle Creek] Wednesday, March 9
I suffer so much pain in my shoulder, lung, and my whole side, I can write but little. Wrote six small pages to Sarah Whipple [Sarah B. Whipple].120 1EGWLM 609.1
I visited my mother. Made her a black cap. In the eve Sister Mary Meade [Mary Jane Mead]121 came in for husband and self to visit them and encourage Thomas. He is much cast down. His lungs trouble him much. James talked encouragingly, then we had a season of prayer. The Lord met with them and all are much encouraged. 1EGWLM 609.2
[Battle Creek] Thursday, March 10
Walked to the city and back. Was very weary. Purchased John F.122 a pair of pants. In the afternoon Sister Irving [Catherine Irving] came in. She looked sad and appeared to be chilled. Agnes [Agnes Irving]123 was much affected, as she noticed a little reluctance on the part of her mother to tell her how sick father was. She burst into tears and cried out in an earnest manner, “Ma, tell me how Pa is?” She had feared that he was dead. Her mother, deeply affected, told her he was failing slowly. Oh, what a scene I witnessed! The mother compelled to come to the daughter for her hard-earned wages to support a dying husband and father and four children. The mother's feelings—entirely overcome as she feels her necessity and her reluctance to take all her daughter's wages. 1EGWLM 610.1
For ten weeks the daughter has lived with us and we have paid her nine shillings [$1.12] a week. All but one dollar of this she has handed to her mother. Her clothes are poor, yet she does not appropriate any means to her own use. She forgets herself in her self-sacrifice and devotion to her parents. It was as affecting a scene as I have ever witnessed. The reluctance of the mother to accept, through necessity, the wages—all the wages—of a daughter, and the willingness and freedom of the daughter to have all go to her poor afflicted parents. 1EGWLM 610.2
The mother and daughter wept, and we wept. We aided them some. Paid half toward a pair of boots for a little brother—one dollar. I paid one dollar fifty for a pair of shoes for the mother. Husband gave her one dollar in money. Henry [Henry Nichols White, age 11] gave her ten cents, Edson [James Edson White, age 9] ten cents, and little Willie [William Clarence White, age 4] ten. Husband gave her five dollars more to buy a few luxuries for the sick one. We parted with considerable half-worn clothing to make over. We put up one pint [.5 liters] of rich grape wine124 and another pint of currant for the sick one, and sent a little handful of dried apples for the sick one's table. 1EGWLM 610.3
[Battle Creek] Friday, March 11
It has been dark and stormy all day. It has rained and blown very hard. Husband has been preparing for a garden. Rather early spring. Large holes are prepared in the earth for the pieplant.125 1EGWLM 610.4
[Battle Creek] Sabbath, March 12
Not able to attend meeting. 1EGWLM 611.1
[Battle Creek] Tuesday, March 15
Went to the office. Wrote two letters: one to J. Clark [Joseph Clarke],126 Portage [Ohio], three pages of foolscap; one to Paul Folsom [Paul Folsom],127 six pages of note paper. 1EGWLM 611.2
Sister Decker128 sends in ten dollars to James [James Springer White] and Uriah [Uriah Smith] to apply where it is most needed. Applied two dollars to Sister Irving. William129 handed me one dollar to dispose of for her. 1EGWLM 611.3
[Battle Creek] Wednesday, March 16
Wrote a letter of six pages to Sister Decker. 1EGWLM 611.4
[Battle Creek] Thursday, March 17
George [George Washington Amadon],130 Agnes, and myself visited Brother Irving [William Irving].131 1EGWLM 611.5
[Battle Creek] Friday, March 18
Finished the arrangement of letters to the office. 1EGWLM 611.6
[Battle Creek] Sabbath, March 19
Attended meeting in the forenoon. Brother Loughborough preached with great liberty upon the sleep of the dead and the inheritance of the saints. Tarried at home in the afternoon. Read to my children, wrote a letter to Brother Newton and wife,132 encouraging them in spiritual things. In the evening attended meeting for communion and washing feet. Was not as free as I wished to be on such occasions. My teeth troubled me. Returned home before meeting closed. 1EGWLM 612.1
[Battle Creek] Sunday, March 20
My health is very poor. Father and Mother are moving over their things today.133 Mary Ann, Brother Irving's daughter, just returned from visiting her parents. They are somewhat anxious to get near the village of Battle Creek.134 Brother Thomas Meade came to our house. Stopped with us until his things were moved. I was surprised to see how fast he has run down. He is very weak. We must trust in God. If we look at appearances we should think his case hopeless, for he seems marked for the grave. Mary, his wife, took dinner with us. She is very worn and tired from moving,135 and then her husband's weak state depresses her spirits. May the Lord spare Thomas to his family and to the church, is our earnest prayer. The arm of flesh cannot save him. The Lord is mighty to save. In Him we trust. We believe we shall not trust in vain. 1EGWLM 612.2
[Battle Creek] Monday, March 21
I suffer considerably in body, yet went down street to assist in buying Father and Mother things to keep house with. Returned home for dinner and finished the trading in the afternoon. I suffer much from weariness. Brother and Sister Grant [Walter and Nancy Grant]136 came up with things for Brother Irving's family. I have a sick headache. Was obliged to retire. 1EGWLM 612.3
[Battle Creek] Wednesday, March 23
Visited Brother Godsmark's [Richard Godsmark] and met with a hearty reception. Had a prayer meeting in the eve, at the stated time of their prayer meeting. We had quite a refreshing season, although there were but a few. 1EGWLM 613.1
[Battle Creek] Thursday, March 24
Arose early. Assisted my husband and Brother Richard [Richard Godsmark] in taking up a currant bush to plant in our garden. Sister Hulda [Huldah Jane Godsmark] rode down to Battle Creek with us. Brother Richard and Orvilla137 came on after with a load. We arrived at home two hours before they came. They took dinner with us. It is a cold, blustering day. Brother Richard and wife will suffer unless they are warmly clothed. I lend them cloak, mittens, and necktie to protect them. The weather is very changeable, but in the new earth there are no chilling winds, no disagreeable changes. The atmosphere is ever right and healthy. Father and Mother are contented in their new home. May the Lord give them peace of mind and continual refreshing from His divine presence. 1EGWLM 613.2
[Battle Creek] Friday, March 25
Finished John138 a pair of pants, and prepare a coat for Edson. In the evening, as we bow to implore the protection of our heavenly Father through the night, the Lord begat within me living cries after His salvation for Brother Thomas. I was made to feel that the Spirit maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Oh, how precious seemed the promises of God to us as our united cries were sent up for the restoration of our afflicted brother. Our trembling faith grasped the strong promises of God and we felt like agonizing like the importunate widow until our petition should be answered and our dear brother restored to health again. 1EGWLM 613.3
[Battle Creek] Sabbath, March 26
We arose early and walked down to see Brother Thomas. We learned that at the same hour that we were called out in prayer at home for Thomas that Brethren Kellogg [John Preston Kellogg] and Smith139 were praying around his bedside, and the Lord met with the sick and strengthened him to praise His name with a loud voice. They all felt the sweet refreshing from the presence of the Lord. Thomas rested well through the night and we felt rejoiced at this token of good from the Lord. We had a praying season for our dear brother. The Lord met with and blessed him and us again and he praised the Lord for His great goodness. At half past one o'clock those connected with the office met together to pray for Thomas's recovery. The Lord gave us a measure of freedom. 1EGWLM 613.4
[Battle Creek] Sunday, March 27
Went to the office today to cover books. Sent out the things sent in for Brother Irving's [family]. 1EGWLM 614.1
[Battle Creek] Monday, March 28
Covered, or made, a mattress for the lounge. Very weary. In the eve folded and prepared different signatures140 for different books. 1EGWLM 614.2
[Battle Creek] Tuesday, March 29
Quite unwell. Was obliged to rest in the forenoon. In the afternoon wrote three letters and had an interview with my father, which causes me much sadness of heart. They are going east. Father is a second child, but knows it not.141 In the eve, stitched one hundred books. While we were engaged at family prayer Brother Carmen [John Frost Carman]142 came. Went out to Brother Irving's. Returned in the eve. Brother Irving is a little more comfortable. 1EGWLM 614.3
[Battle Creek] Wednesday, March 30
Set out the raspberry bush. Went to Mr. Manchester's [Elias C. Manchester]143 for strawberry plants. Got some currant bushes. Brother Carmen left this morn. Brother John Farnsworth [John P. Farnsworth]144 went with him. Thomas is no worse, but slowly improving. Praise the Lord for this manifestations of His loving kindness. We can truly say with the Psalmist, “This poor man cried and the Lord heard him.” [Ps. 34:6.] I also cried unto the Lord and He heard my prayer. Therefore, I will praise the Lord as long as I live. 1EGWLM 614.4
Sent off three letters—one to Brother Nichols [Otis Nichols]145 and one to Brother Howland, [Stockbridge Howland] having one enclosed to Brother Foey [John G. Foy],146 and one to Brother J. T. Orton [Jonathan T. Orton]. 1EGWLM 615.1
[Battle Creek] Thursday, March 31
Planted a patch of strawberries. Sent a letter of twelve pages of note paper to my sister. 1EGWLM 615.2