The Fannie Bolton Story

Fannie Bolton, “A Confession Concerning the Testimony of Jesus Christ,” circa April, 1901

Dear Brethren in the truth,—Of late my name, without my consent and without my knowledge has been made use of by Mr. Nelson in connection with tracts he has issued, censuring Sr. White and our leading brethren. I am not, nor ever have been in sympathy with him in the position he has taken against our brethren, and feel it my privilege to make this fact known. In his pamphlet, lately published, he has attributed expressions to me that I have never uttered, and given a garbled account of a dream I had, putting upon it his own interpretation. I am not, nor ever have been, in harmony with Mr. Nelson in his views or claims, and it is only just that this should be understood. FBS 102.2

But in connection with this matter, I have been greatly to blame; for I have told Mr. Nelson and many others, troubles, perplexities, and questionings in regard to the work of God through Sister White, which I should have opened to no one but God. In so doing I have for years disseminated an influence against the work of God through His prophet, and brought untold suffering to myself and to many of the servants of God. God only knows how widespread is the evil influence of my uttered doubts and questionings. FBS 102.3

I have to some degree ever believed that Sister White was a prophet of God; but some things in connections with using matter from other writers and the editorial relation that were out of harmony with my early school training and the maxim’s applicable to uninspired literature, started doubt and questioning as to why this relation was not thoroughly acknowledged, and the sources of quotation credited as in the authors of the world. FBS 102.4

Sister White writes about quotations in the last page of the preface of Great Controversy as follows: “The great events which have marked the progress of reform are matters of history.... In some cases where a historian has so grouped together events as to afford, in brief, a comprehensive view of the subject, or has summarized details in a convenient manner, his words have been quoted; but except in a few instances no specific credit has been given, since they are not quoted for the purpose of citing authority, but because his statements afford a ready and forcible presentation of the subject.” FBS 102.5

This uncredited matter and an unacknowledged editorial relation with some human frailties in Sister White, with dull spiritual perception and a distorted vision of truth, caused me to lose my realization of the sacred character of the work, and that the work through Sister White was “the testimony of Jesus.” I tried for years to harmonize what seemed to me an inconsistency in the work with a worldly literary maxim that requires an author to acknowledge his editors and give credit to all works from which he quotes. In contending that Sister White was not open about this matter, I supposed myself standing for a principle of ordinary justice and literary honesty, and looked upon myself as a martyr for truth’s sake. FBS 102.6

With this conviction, I have talked over my troubles, created sympathy for myself, and brought confusion wherever my influence spread. The confusion that followed my rehearsals, I could not understand, and marveled that the telling of a fact should create doubt as to the truth. I charged the confusion, not to the principle I advocated, but to a false conception of the matter in the minds of the people, because of the unacknowledged literary connection. FBS 102.7

Three times I was dismissed from Sister White’s work because of relating my trouble, many times in honest effort to find someone to give me a harmonious explanation of the tormenting perplexity. My sorrow and anguish at the anguish it caused was not feigned, and yet not understanding the cause of my removal, I made confessions that did not touch the point, because I was blinded to it, and though confessing that I had in some way done harm to the work, I held to the position in my mind that Sister White should acknowledge her editors and every source from which she obtained suggestion or expression. Consequently my confessions were inadequate and my sore unhealed, and ready again to break forth at any future probing. I rebelled in heart against what I considered the taking of undue credit on the part of Sister White in receiving unqualified commendation for books or articles upon which Marian Davis, myself and others had expended editorial work. My rebellion on this point, together with poor health, finally led me to leave the work in Australia. FBS 103.1

The influence of what I had told others then began its deadly work. One minister [S. McCullagh] left the truth and spread far and wide my words of information, and great trial come upon the Australian brethren. I am glad to say that the minister returned to the truth, and is earnestly engaged in building again those things he destroyed. [He later left again.] FBS 103.2

Sister White wrote me a very sharp testimony, declaring that she had been shown that I was an enemy to her work, that I had misrepresented her, and caused the ruin of my own influence. In spite of this dreadful testimony, I persisted in thinking that it was not the position I had taken or the words I had spoken; but the spirit I had cherished that has done the mischief, and thus far I confessed to Sister White. When I was cut off from the work, shut out of the papers, and looked upon as an enemy to the truth, I felt terribly misjudged, and drew the sympathy of many by relating my trials and disseminating my perplexities. FBS 103.3

This work I have done among my brethren and some outsiders; but God has at last found me in a place where He could open the true principle upon which His work stands vindicated and infallible, and which eliminates all my objections, clears up my difficulties, and gives me a new gift for which to praise His glorious and terrible name. I now wish to make all the reparation possible in counteracting the influence I have disseminated. FBS 103.4

When Sister White spoke in the tabernacle a few days ago, an overwhelming conviction came upon me that through her was borne to us, “The testimony of Jesus.” I have explained her testimony to me to mean something different from what it says. I now accept it as it reads. Pride and personal ambition have ruled me unknown to myself, and I was not willing to submit myself to the counsel of God through His servant, or to give Sister White her true place in our midst. I must say I was deceived in regard to myself. I did not know what was ruling me. I did it ignorantly and in unbelief. FBS 103.5

In my testimony the case of Miriam and Aaron was used as an illustration of my course where they murmured against Moses, saying, “Hath the Lord only spoken by Moses, hath He not also spoken by us?” I have never seen how this applied until now; for I thought that if Miriam or Aaron did editorial work on Moses’ manuscript, they did have a right to speak of it, and how could it be otherwise than that God also spake by them. But I see that God speaks by whom He chooses as a prophet, and the work of the editor is nothing until it becomes the property of the Spirit of prophecy through the mind and judgment of His chosen mouthpiece. Prophetic inspiration is vastly above the editor’s knowledge or the words of any human author, and vastly above what Sister White could possibly bring forth herself. The Spirit of God through the human chosen channel makes choice of what He desires as an expression of His mind, and this work through Sister White cannot be judged by any criterion that applies to secular or uninspired literature, where the mind is under ordinary control, and the Lord does not speak in the peculiar way that He does through the Spirit of prophecy. FBS 103.6

The editors in no wise change Sister White’s expression if it is grammatically correct, and is an evident expression of the evident thought. Sister White as a human instrumentality has a pronounced style of her own, which is preserved all through her books and articles, that stamps the matter with her individuality. Many times her Manuscript does not need any editing, often but slight editing, and again a great deal of literary work; but articles or chapter, whatever has been done upon it, is passed back into her hands by the editor, and the Spirit of prophecy then appropriates the matter, and it becomes, when approved, the chosen expression of the Spirit of God, so chosen by His chosen agent in this matter, and the identity of the editor or author drops out of the question entirely. It was hard for me to understand this, and until it was clear, I was unreconciled to it. “Blessed are they who have not seen, yet have believed,” but I am one of those unfortunate kind of quibblers, that must like Thomas, put my finger into the prints of the nails, before I can say, “My Lord and my God.” FBS 104.1

The same principle applies to the use of historical statements or quotations. When the Spirit of God indicates their use, they become the property of the Spirit of prophecy, as God is the author of all truth, and has a right to choose what He shall make use of in the work of His Spirit. Sister White herself as an identity is lost in the work of the Spirit, and her name is used not for her glory, or because she is the instrument, but because the Spirit thus chooses to manifest Himself to the world. To acknowledge that any matter was not the Spirit of prophecy, destroys all its force, and is a lie. Whatever is chosen is the mind of God, so stamped by its choice through the prophet alone. FBS 104.2

My perception in spiritual things has been dull indeed, and I may not yet be fully enlightened. Self has obstructed my vision, and a worldly maxim of my early education, applicable to uninspired literature, but not applicable to the Spirit of God, caused me to stumble. Had I been buried in Christ, lost to self glory and self-seeking, I would long ago have discerned the manner of the working of this gift, and have seen the fallacy of trying to apply a maxim of the world to the Spirit of God. FBS 104.3

God is in this gift. God is leading in this cloud of humanity as verily as He led the children of Israel in the wilderness. But spiritual things are spiritually discerned, and cannot be comprehended without a revelation from the Spirit that searches all things, yea, the deep things of God. How can the Spirit of Prophecy be understood without the Spirit in our hearts that breathed the matter? FBS 104.4

I have asked many persons to explain the supposed inconsistencies in connection with this gift, and have found but few who could give me any light. I am largely indebted to Elders Irwin, Olsen, and Rupert, whose spiritual insight and kind words and prayers have helped me in my time of need. An illustration of my case has often come to me in the sanctuary, its coverings and glory. I have been quarreling with the badger skin covering, and pointing souls to that, and missing the glory of the shekinah within, just as the Jews stumbled over the fact that Christ was born at Nazareth and was clothed in human flesh. FBS 105.1

I have also stumbled over the manifestation of human frailities in Sister White, and made them an excuse for doubting her inspiration, instead of rejoicing in the wonderful work of God through this devoted channel. I have dared to comment on Sister White’s supposed inconsistencies, and may God forgive me. As I have judged, I have been judged. I have endeavored to take the mote out of her eyes, when there was a beam in my own. I am humbled at the realization of my own wretched, unutterable shortcoming, contrasted with the devotion of this great servant of God. I know the cause of God is dearer than life to Sister White, and while I have been self-absorbed, and scattering with the enemy, she has gone on gathering golden sheaves for the harvest. FBS 105.2

No opprobrium can be too great for my course, and I do not wonder that the people have been “nauseated” with my evil. And yet in all this I have been like one delirious, raving in mania against my best friend and my own soul’s interest and the interests of others—deceived and deluded to a horrible extent. God knew that I did it ignorantly and in unbelief. This may seem a strange saying in view of the fact that I have for years been warned of my wrongs; but so blind was I that I did not see, and so practically I have been in blindness and ignorance. Even of the Jews who crucified Christ it is said, “If ye had known it, ye would not have crucified the Lord of life and glory.” FBS 105.3

I have also complained of Sister White’s interference in a contemplated relation; but I fully accept her testimony now on this point as on all others in regard to my case. As far as I know I have now made a clean breast of it, but if there is more to be confessed, I will make it clear when I see it, or when it is pointed out. FBS 105.4

The individual work I will do as God opens it to my mind. In the past I have confessed to Brother Prescott and others that I had misrepresented Sister White, not because I was convicted, but because Sister White had said so, and because I was urged to do so upon that ground whether I saw it or not. I afterward felt I had done wrong, and will make no confession of this order. Whatever comes to me through the Spirit of prophecy I will accept and acknowledge, because I have now settled the matter and believe that the Spirit of prophecy is the voice of God. In confessing on this ground I shall not make myself a hypocrite in my own eyes and place myself under the suspicion of my brethren. FBS 105.5

In the past I have partially seen my wrongs, and have made confessions; but the principle of wrongdoing was not discovered and obliterated and the root of the matter not taken out, so I fell again into my old reasonings that seemed to justify my course. I see a new force in the text, “casting down reasonings, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” FBS 105.6

I rejoice today in the “testimony of Jesus.” I thank God that He has kept Sister White from following my supposed superior wisdom and righteousness, and has kept her from acknowledging editors and authors; but has given to the people the unadulterated expression of God’s mind. Had she done as I wished her to do, the gift would have been degraded to a common authorship, its importance lost, its authority undermined and its blessings lost to the world. I have thought her words very hard when she said “Satanic influences” worked through me; but I can see today that in the attack made through me, I have been the deceived tool of the dragon who hates the commandments of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ. FBS 106.1

I have thought Sister White’s course toward me was very hard and unchristlike. I now regard it as right and merciful. I have felt grieved and indignant that testimonies regarding me were sent to the leading brethren. I now wonder they were not made public property in order to shut off my evil influence. I have suffered terribly for my blind warfare against the Spirit of God through Sister White. “Touch not mine anointed and do my prophets no harm,” for “God, will avenge His own elect.” Let my experience be a warning to others. FBS 106.2

I now ask you to forgive me, to pray for me. I cast myself on your mercy and the mercy of Him whose compassions fail not. He has blessed me many times through the years of anguish and trial, or my spirit would have failed. I do not ask you to reinstate me anywhere, to give [me] any place in the cause. I long to go away and hide myself. Praise God for the Rock of Ages cleft for me, even me. FBS 106.3

As for reconciliation with Sister White it will come in God’s own time. I have prayed for the healing of the breach between us, and someday the mists will all be cleared away. I can say I never loved Sister White, honored and esteemed her as I do today. I feel I am unworthy to unloose her shoe. I will bear the punishment of my sin. I do not deserve anything, and humanly speaking cannot hope for any confidence in me on the part of Sister White; for unless God speaks to her of me, my confession can bear to her only sorrow, as I have so often confessed in the past, and with more expression of grief. FBS 106.4

For four years I have been without the camp. I am reconciled to stay there and bear my reproach patiently. Maybe it is here I shall more fully come to see the Man of Sorrows, who bears my sorrows and carries my griefs. It has been Himself who has brought me through this strange path until He could speak comfortably to me through the cutting testimonies He has given. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Rejoicing, though sorrowing, I still choose to suffer affliction with the people of God, to feel the wrath of the dragon with those who keep God’s commandments, and have the Testimony of Jesus. This testimony I know I prize as never before, as a heaven sent gift, a “telescope” into truth and eternity, given to the remnant church for the perfecting of the saints, till prophecies cease, faith is sight, hope fruition, and we gather to the fuller realization of the love that never fails. Only then shall we really understand what this gift means to the church. FBS 106.5