The Fannie Bolton Story

32/153

Fannie Bolton to E. G. White, May 23, 1893

Dear Sister White, In this mail I send you a copy of the Stanton letter as it will be sent to the ministers and elders of the churches. Yesterday I left copies of it with Bro. Smith according to direction for this purpose. I also send articles for the Home Missionary and Signsand Reviewwhich were copied on Sr. Tenney’s machine. You will notice how much better work in carbon copies her machine makes than can be made on mine. The reason is that her machine is of later date, and has the same improvements as has Sr. Daniells. In order to have my machine do the same class of work, it will require to be remodeled. The rubber roller in mine is of soft material only designed for taking one copy, and in order to have it take carbons well, it would be necessary to have a hard roller put in. This would be easily done if the machine were made as are the others mentioned, but unfortunately, instead of my roller being on a cylinder as are theirs it is fastened into the very body of the framework. However I will have a machine doctor look it over and make the change necessary if possible. You remember that I have always been tried with the machine because of this, and I would be very glad if my patience had had all the discipline necessary from this source; but if not, shall be able to take the trial more patiently because of the long experience. FBS 12.6

I am sorry that my letters have caused you so much trouble. I will write to you hereafter only when I am not too hurried to use the Calligraphy. That unfortunate letter that I wrote when I felt the most poorly in health that I have felt for some months, I sincerely wish I had never written; for it has really misrepresented matters concerning my spirit and Marian, if it has given you the impression that I have been discouraged and in a dark atmosphere, and that your workers were both about to fail. I went to Marian for advice as to whether I had better say anything about my poor health, and she thought that it would not be honorable or just not to let you know, and all the sadness I felt was on account of leaving the work, as I feared I should have to. But with gratitude to God, I can say my atmosphere has never been a dark, discouraged one in the sense in which you have thought, and grows calmer and clearer every day. Please ask anyone in the house, and you will receive the same testimony. But this is of grace and not of me. FBS 13.1

As to the past, dear Sister White, speak of it as often as it seems necessary for you to do so. I am learning to take every experience of every day as from One who loves me, who has given himself for my sins, and whatever comes is best. But I must say that you have certainly taken a view of what I have written that I did not intend you to take,—that I have been blaming you or any one for my past sufferings entirely. To say that I have never been overworked, I could not. There have been weeks when my record of work will testify to the fact that they have been overcrowded; but as for feeling that this alone was the reason of my intense headaches, I do not. The burden I brought with me from America was heavy on my heart for years before I came to Preston, and it was not all rebellion against God that made me weep. God knows what I have presented to His throne and I am glad He knows, and that we have not an High Priest that can not be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, and who has said that “No chastening for the present seemeth joyous but grievous, nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruits of righteousness to them that are exercised thereby.” And again, “Though for a season ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations.” No, my feeling to every mortal is one of peace and good will. I praise God for His tender Spirit. Now please do not think I blame you or any one. I was surprised to see that you thought I blamed you or Emily when I simply asked for instructions to be given concerning letters and testimonies. I see from your letter that you think you had given instruction before on this matter, but I can find no word of it in any of the letters you have written me. Please look up that blue letter if you care to, and also find the envelope on which was written, “I am of good courage.” FBS 13.2

I have prayed that God will heal all the difficulties and I believe He will. In the next mail I will send you more articles which are ready for copying, but not yet copied. You have written concerning matter for another testimony. What do you want done about it? Your letter is not definite on the point. Have not time to write more, Yours with love, Fannie Bolton. P.S. We expect Bro. Starr today. American mail comes today. I send back page of article you wished returned. FBS 14.1