Counsels on Wellness

Counsel #16 — Tone of Voice

Picture: Counsel #16 — Tone of Voice CWe 245.1

Have you ever lived with someone disrespectful to you when communicating? How did that make you feel? A large majority of people don’t know how to remain calm during conflict, creating an atmosphere of dysfunction with their reactionary tone when they speak. CWe 245.2

When considering how to create a healthy living environment, we should consider our tone of voice when discussing issues and concerns with loved ones. A gentle and kind tone promotes trust and comfort, making others feel valued and safe. Even in the middle of an argument or heated disagreement, a person is more likely to respond with cooperation and openness when spoken to with respect. Conversely, a harsh or aggressive tone often provokes a posture of defensiveness or fear, leading to more conflict and emotional distance. Even if the words themselves are not necessarily offensive, the tone can still make them feel dismissed or disrespected. Recognizing how your tone affects your environment, be intentional about taking the needed steps to change how you communicate. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for self-control and to guard your lips. God calls His people to speak to others in love, so always be mindful of what you say and how you say it.^[278] CWe 245.3

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 NIV CWe 245.4

“Evil-speaking is a two-fold curse, falling more heavily upon the speaker than upon the hearer.” Ellen White in With God at Dawn , p. 106 CWe 245.5

Reflect: How is your tone of voice when communicating during conflict? CWe 245.6