Counsels on Relationships
Counsel #10 — Listening to Learn
Picture: Counsel #10 — Listening to Learn CR 78.1
Listening is one of the most underrated yet powerful ways we show love and respect to others. As Christians, we’re called to listen—not just with our ears but with our hearts. Think about how often Jesus truly listened to people—from the woman at the well to His own disciples. CR 78.2
He didn’t interrupt or rush to respond; He gave each person His full attention. For us, active listening starts with putting away distractions like our phones, making eye contact, and using open body language—like the occasional nod—to show we’re engaged. Instead of mentally preparing our response while the other person is still speaking, we should focus on their words and reflect on their meaning. Don’t let their message go in one ear and out the other. Ask thoughtful, clarifying questions to show your care and to better understand their perspective. You might say, “Could you explain that a little more?” or “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated—am I understanding that right?” CR 78.3
When we listen like this, we not only avoid misunderstandings, but we also create space for deeper connection—giving God room to move through every conversation.3 CR 78.4
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19 NIV CR 78.5
“The Lord requires us to obey the voice of duty…” Ellen White in God’s Amazing Grace, p. 202 CR 78.6
Reflect: Do others feel heard when they talk to you? CR 78.7