Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #25 — Me Plus You

Picture: Counsel #25 — Me Plus You CR 288.1

What do you do when your spouse is passionate about something, but you just don’t get it? Maybe he loves watching college football, and she might enjoy crocheting, but neither of them could care less about the other’s activity. It’s easy to say, “That’s their thing, not mine,” and that’s okay. But because your spouse’s happiness matters, the loving action is to take an interest in and support their healthy hobbies and activities. CR 288.2

Don’t get me wrong — you don’t have to fake enthusiasm, but you can show up. If you don’t like football, try sitting down and watching the game. If crocheting isn’t your thing, you can still ask questions and show interest. You may find that watching sports is not so bad, or learning a few crochet stitches could be relaxing. These small acts say, “I see you, and I care about what brings you joy.” Being in a happy marriage isn’t about losing yourself; it’s about growing closer to your life partner by making space for what matters to them.^[305] CR 288.3

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord…. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Ephesians 5:22, 25 NIV CR 288.4

“To each other [husbands and wives] ever be tender and thoughtful, giving up your own wishes and purposes to make each other happy. Day by day you may make advancement in self-knowledge.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home , p. 95 CR 288.5

Reflect: What’s one hobby you can join in on with your spouse this week? CR 288.6