Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #17 — Holiday Spirit

Picture: Counsel #17 — Holiday Spirit CR 280.1

You’ve both circled the date. Christmas is almost here. You’re picturing your mom’s sweet potato pie, cousins you haven’t seen in forever, and the comfort of family traditions you haven’t experienced since you were a kid. There’s just one problem: your spouse wants to spend the holiday with their own family, who live hours away and have different traditions altogether.^[297] CR 280.2

In a Christian marriage, it’s essential to compromise, especially when both individuals are at a crossroads. Compromise is where love is really tested, as both individuals have the choice whether to self-sacrifice or not. A healthy give and take relationship doesn’t keep score or view the relationship through a competitive lens. So, maybe this year it’s your spouse’s family, and next year it’s yours. Or maybe you end up visiting both, even if it’s not ideal. What matters most isn’t the location; it’s that the decision was made together. When in doubt, always look to the Bible for guidance! Jesus gave sacrificially, modeling what love looks like in real life. Marriage calls for that same posture: less of me, more of us. CR 280.3

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 NIV CR 280.4

“Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership…” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 106 CR 280.5

Reflect: Are holiday plans a shared decision, or a one-person show? CR 280.6