Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #16 — Half-Full

Picture: Counsel #16 — Half-Full CR 279.1

Have you ever felt like you’re pouring yourself out for someone, but the cup never gets passed back? And if it does, it’s only half full? That’s what it’s like to be a giver in a one-sided relationship. You keep showing up, checking in when they’re down, forgiving when they mess up, and adjusting your life so they don’t feel uncomfortable, but when you need something, there’s only silence, dismissal, or excuses. CR 279.2

Surprisingly, many marriages consist of one partner who gives 100% while the other contributes nothing, often becoming a “habitual taker.” In the Bible, Jesus was the ultimate Giver, providing an example for all of us today. Although Jesus had boundaries and often retreated to quiet places to pray, He healed, taught, and served constantly. In your marriage, if you’re always sacrificing for your spouse, but are afraid to ask for what you need, you’re suffering in silence. Even though compromise is important in relationships, God didn’t call you into a relationship to be taken advantage of. You were created to give joyfully, but never forget that you matter, too!^[296] CR 279.3

“I want each of you to take plenty of time to think it over, and make up your own mind what you will give.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 MSG CR 279.4

“In their mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice they will be a blessing to each other…” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 95 CR 279.5

Reflect: Does giving in your relationship drain you, or fulfill you? CR 279.6