Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #11 — Saying “I Love You”

Picture: Counsel #11 — Saying “I Love You” CR 245.1

When was the last time you looked your spouse in the eyes and sincerely said, “I love you?” Not out of routine, but with intentional affection? Those three words are powerful, but they’re most meaningful when backed by consistent, daily actions. CR 245.2

Love shouldn’t be assumed just because someone is present. Over time, it’s easy to fall into mundane patterns due to the business of life. When stress takes over, we can sometimes forget to affirm what we value most, which is our significant other. It’s not wise to ever assume your spouse “knows” you love them, even after heartfelt vows and years spent together. If one person in the marriage stops saying “I love you,” doubt will inevitably start to creep in, causing the other person to feel unseen and undervalued. The saying “love not expressed often becomes love that’s doubted” is a real thing. Additionally, saying “I love you” means more when it’s paired with a gentle tone, a kind gesture, or when choosing grace in a moment of frustration. Even though life is busy and trials are unavoidable, your spouse should never have to wonder where they stand in your heart.^[260] CR 245.3

“Do everything in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14 NIV CR 245.4

“Love is a plant of heavenly growth, and it must be fostered and nourished.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home , p. 50 CR 245.5

Reflect: How many times do you genuinely tell your spouse “I love you” in a single day? CR 245.6