Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #10 — Sharing Thoughts and Feelings

Picture: Counsel #10 — Sharing Thoughts and Feelings CR 244.1

Have you ever hesitated to say something out loud? Not because it wasn’t important, but because you weren’t sure how your spouse would react? Maybe it was a concern about your health, a fear you couldn’t quite explain, or even a shift in your faith that you weren’t ready to unpack. These moments are deeply human, and how your spouse responds can either build intimacy or emotional walls. CR 244.2

In a God-centered marriage, there should never be any topics that are “off-limits.” Marriage isn’t about presenting a filtered version of yourself — it’s about being fully known and understood, yet still deeply loved despite personal flaws or shortcomings. That kind of emotional safety takes time to build, but it begins with a shared commitment to honesty, grace, and active, non-judgmental listening. Although each person will have their own friends and family to share things with, your spouse should be the first person you go to when something is wrong — aside from God, of course. If you can never share your feelings openly with your spouse, then what’s the point of even being married to that person? Scripture reminds us to carry one another’s burdens, which is the blueprint for building a marriage where vulnerability is welcomed.^[259] CR 244.3

“Speak the truth in love.” Ephesians 4:15 NIV CR 244.4

“Strict honesty must be cultivated.” Ellen White in Counsels on Lifestyle, p. 15 CR 244.5

Reflect: Do you go to your spouse when something is wrong, or to someone else? CR 244.6