Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #18 — Stepping Out

Picture: Counsel #18 — Stepping Out CR 223.1

Affairs don’t begin with betrayal. They begin with neglect, a long stretch of loneliness, or a growing sense that someone else “gets you” more than your spouse does. Whether emotional or physical, dishonoring your spouse by “stepping out” on the marriage is never okay in God’s eyes.^[234] CR 223.2

Scripture warns that adultery is not just sin, but it’s also self-wounding. The ripple effects are real: children lose stability, marriages lose trust, and individuals lose parts of themselves they were never meant to give away. An emotional affair might not cross physical lines, but it still crosses sacred ones. When energy, deep connection, and vulnerable thoughts are consistently shared with someone outside the marriage, the bond between spouses will almost always weaken. A physical affair brings an added layer of devastation, but both forms damage intimacy. Recognize that adultery is a primary indicator of spiritual disengagement. The enemy works subtly, and if both partners don’t keep their eyes on God, the devil will attempt to turn them away from what matters most. So, stay alert, honest, and stay anchored in the Truth. CR 223.3

“But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself.” Proverbs 6:32 NIV CR 223.4

“So long as life shall last, there will be need of guarding the affections and the passions with a firm purpose.” Ellen White in Prayer, p. 276 CR 223.5

Reflect: Have you allowed emotional vulnerability to drift outside your marriage? CR 223.6