Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #19 — Emotionally Absent

Picture: Counsel #19 — Emotionally Absent CR 224.1

Being emotionally vulnerable outside of marriage often begins innocently - longer conversations after work, a joke exchanged in a text, a subtle sense of comfort you start craving from someone who isn’t your spouse. You tell yourself it’s harmless, but over time, what once belonged inside your marriage begins wandering elsewhere.^[235] CR 224.2

Emotional involvement outside your covenant doesn’t require physical touch to do damage. The moment you’d rather share your struggles, ideas, or dreams with someone else other than with your partner, it’s time to pause and check your heart. Emotional vulnerability should never be on display, and your spouse is the only one who should have access to your heart aside from God. So, how do you stay grounded? Build boundaries early! When you’re with people of the opposite sex, speak well of your spouse and your relationship. Don’t confide your marital struggles to someone who could one day replace the role of your partner in your heart. Most importantly, keep communication open at home — report all “small” or “unnecessary” details to your spouse no matter what. The devil loves to turn seeds of deceit into plants of tragedy, so keep your marriage grounded in God. CR 224.3

“Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love.” Song of Solomon 1:15 NLT CR 224.4

“As soon as one begins to contemplate his feelings he is on dangerous ground.” Ellen White in Living by Principle , p. 31 CR 224.5

Reflect: Where are you giving your emotional attention? CR 224.6