Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #17 — The Stepmother

Picture: Counsel #17 — The Stepmother CR 222.1

What does it mean to love a child you didn’t raise from birth, in a role that sometimes comes with no roadmap? Being a stepmother is one of the most complex and underappreciated roles in the family, but Scripture affirms the beauty of this chosen love. CR 222.2

For example, Ruth wasn’t biologically Naomi’s daughter; yet, her loyalty shaped generations. Although being a stepmother is common in many households today, it’s not an easy job to do by any means. One of the hardest things a stepmother may have to deal with is a relationship with the biological mother. A Christian stepmom shows up with consistency and grace, while also making space to honor and respect the child’s bond with their biological mother — when it is safe and healthy to do so. Being a stepmom doesn’t mean replacing anyone — it means choosing to offer steady love, support, guidance, and nurturing to a child of your heart, within your own home. There will likely be times of rejection as children don’t quite understand all their emotions that come with having a stepmother in their lives. Even when difficulty comes, keep your eyes on God, and continue to show up and show love.^[233] CR 222.3

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV CR 222.4

“You knew that when you married him you covenanted to become a mother to his children.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 271 CR 222.5

Reflect: Are you allowing God to shape your role as a stepmother? CR 222.6