Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 8 (1893)

Ms 81, 1893

Diary, July to July 1893

Wellington, New Zealand

June 1 - July 26, 1893

Portions of this manuscript are published in TDG 208; 8MR 85-86; 10MR 385; 4Bio 94, 100; 1888 1195-1196.

Thursday, June 1, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I have had precious rest in sleep. Rise at four o’clock and I thank my heavenly Father I am able to write this morning. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 1

Brother and Sister Wilson left us last night to visit Brennan, to spend a week with them. Letters came for Brother Wilson, which he opened. Brother McCullagh writes that there is an interest created at last in ______. He has been challenged for a discussion upon the Sabbath question. Everything now seems to be awakened to the matter in hand. He desires much that Brother Wilson and wife shall come and remain with them a few weeks. They will no doubt go. Received a letter from Sydney for Willie C. White from Anna Ingels. She has, in company with Brother Hickox, had a very pleasant passage from California. She was not sick at all. It was quite rough from Auckland to Sydney. I feel very thankful to God that He has been merciful and of tender compassion to those who have come on this long journey upon the broad waters. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 2

Friday, June 2, 1893

I send today mail to Melbourne, 34 pages in one article. Letters: W. C. White one page, Brother Starr one page and half, Marian and Fannie two pages. It is raining very hard. Has rained all day. Letter received from Brother Starr from Hobart, Tasmania, stating they arrived safe and sound, May 22, one day ahead of time. Reports an exceptionally fine passage. Sister Starr had not been sick at all. Writes he was surprised to meet Brother Caldwell in this place, with his Babylonian message. Said Caldwell is a young man from Pennsylvania. He reports this man as apparently very earnest and desirous to do the will of God. Oh that the Lord will help these souls that are deluded by the enemy that those who are now in the darkness of error may see great light and no longer walk in the sparks of their own kindling—as I know for a certainty they are now doing! 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 3

I am brain weary and cannot engage in writing as I had hoped to do. The Lord is good and of tender compassion. I know He has kept and strengthened me these many years, and I will not distrust His goodness and His matchless love. I am distressed in mind when those who claim to be believers are so easily led into false paths, as are some of our brethren, and give heed to some fables that lead into strange paths. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 4

Monday, June 12, 1893

Monday morning. I am awakened at half past one and the matter of the false message, the production of Brethren Stanton and Caldwell, urges itself upon my mind. There comes up a whole procession of cases marching before me in regard to ancient Israel’s mistakes, and I cannot get them out of my mind. I arise and commence my writing upon these subjects. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 5

I find at 2 p.m. a mail went to Melbourne. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 6

Tuesday, June 13, 1893

I cannot sleep past three o’clock. This morning I wrote many pages before breakfast. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 7

Wednesday, June 14, 1893

I arise at three a.m. and try to write. The Lord is certainly helping me to get off letters for this mail. Brother and Sister Wilson came from Blenheim [?] much encouraged healthwise, and the Lord was with them, blessing their seeking to bless others. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 8

Thursday, June 15, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

Was up at five a.m. and preparing matter to go in the American mail. These monthly mails are a great tax on me. I send off a large amount of matter to different persons; and now, after the mail has gone, I think of several that I am sorry receive no communications from me. But I have done my best and this is all that is required. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 9

Brother and Sister Wilson, Sister Tuxford, and Emily visited the warships this afternoon. Sister Wilson and I walked out. I cannot walk far, but it was a blessing to be able to walk a short distance and keep in the sunshine. Brother Israel is much afflicted with rheumatism. I feel sad to see him so crippled, but he makes no complaint over his pain and suffering. Sister Israel is also in poor health, and he is obliged—sick or well—to do for her, for her case is precarious at times. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 10

Friday, June 16, 1893

This morning I arise at four o’clock, put articles in shape for Brother Wilson to take with him to read to others when he sees they are needed. Brother and Sister Wilson left at six a.m. Last night we felt five distinct earthquake shocks, which put our beds in motion. This was at a quarter before twelve o’clock. Brother Wilson felt the earthquake shock quite sensibly. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 11

It is a clear, cold morning, healthy weather; but the poor, illy-provided with food, without the blessing of fires and warm clothing, will suffer in this weather. Emily and I rode out in the forenoon. It came off as warm as summer. We kept in the sunshine some two hours or more and had a wonderful appetite for our dinner. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 12

Saturday, June 17, 1893

I do not attend meeting today. I have contracted a cold and dare not risk any exposure. In early forenoon the mail carrier brings us the American mail. We read the letters from Elders Olsen, Haskell, Ings, and Jones in regard to the good camp meeting held in Oakland, California. These letters were indeed a feast to our souls, to read of the working of the Lord in the midst of His people. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 13

Sunday, June 18, 1893

Rainy. Write some few pages upon The Life of Christ. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 14

Sister Martha Brown is sick. Poor child, her lot has been cast in hard places. She is a worn-out girl. She seems to have no thoughts of herself. She is ready to do anything and everything to help others, but shows but little care for herself. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 15

Monday, June 19, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

Emily Campbell accompanied Sister Martha Brown home to her mother’s, at her earnest request that she could have entire rest for a few weeks. We shall miss her help much. It is raining hard. At about nine a.m. the clouds roll back and the heavens are clear, the sun shining brightly. It is indeed all brightness after the storm. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 16

I am trying to write on The Life of Christ, but I am obliged to change my position quite often to relieve the spine and the right hip. Sister Tuxford and I had our season of worship alone—only two to claim the promise. I felt drawn out in prayer to God that He would give wisdom to His workers. Oh, how anxious I feel in regard to Edson! How long the Lord will bear with him in his unsanctified independence it is impossible to determine. I pray for him. He has no idea of heeding any words of counsel I may give him. He plants himself firmly to do his way and follow the course of his own choosing. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 17

My burden seems at times heavier than I can bear. But the Lord will give me His grace to endure. “Lo, I am with you alway, even to the end of the world.” [Matthew 28:20.] Truth will triumph. But will Edson triumph with the truth? Will Edson bear the banner of Christ through evil report as well as good? My heart fears for him. I tremble on his behalf. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 18

I cry out most earnestly that the Lord will lead and guide Willie, that the Lord will be unto him wisdom and sanctification and righteousness. Willie is in Melbourne. There are many things to decide in Melbourne. I cry unto God most earnestly that He would preside in all their councils and that He would endue with wisdom and educate and train the workers to do the work perfectly. Much is at stake. I wrote eight pages for my son Willie, four pages to Marian Davis and one page to Byron Belden, and sent to Melbourne by the boat. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 19

Emily came at little past one o’clock. She found nearly the whole family had been sick. Sister Brown had been very sick and all the children were suffering with severe colds. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 20

Brethren Israel and Simpson were here today. Brother Simpson took dinner with us. We had interesting conversation upon temperance. We decided it would be best for me to speak in Petone next Sabbath and Sunday afternoon. Quite a number are anxious to hear Mrs. White. May the Lord guide me and give me the very words I should speak to the people. Took treatment in the evening. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 21

Tuesday, June 20, 1893

This morning I thank the Lord for a precious night’s rest. Had some fever in the night; was kept awake in consequence, but most of the night I slept well. Did not arise until five o’clock. It is an unusual thing for me to lie in bed past four. I would be thankful could I sleep until five o’clock every morning. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 22

Sunday, June 25, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

Arose early in forenoon. Wrote eleven pages of important matter. At half past one p.m. a livery team was at our door to take all who could comfortably ride to Petone. Five went in the carriage. Brother and Sister Israel, Emily, and I in the carriage, one on the seat with driver. Sabbath it rained powerfully through the day and the roads are not as good as usual. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 23

I arose to speak upon a subject, but the Spirit of the Lord came upon me, and I spoke one hour and ten minutes in a most decided manner. Those present seemed to feel under the influence of the warning given them. I told them we were Adventists; likewise was Christ, who foretold in (John 14) His going away and said, “If I go ... I will come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.” [Verse 3.] I told them the Lord was soon to come and the question we should ask is, How is it with my soul? Am I bearing the proving and testing of God? Am I coming closer and closer to the bleeding side of Jesus? “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,” etc. [Matthew 11:28.] 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 24

Monday, June 26, 1893

Hours of the past night were passed in sleeplessness, but the peace of Christ and His precious, comforting grace were in my heart. When I rose from my bed I found myself weak physically, and staggering. I could scarcely walk. It is a beautiful day, clear and sunshiny, the air bracing. I would consider it a pleasure to ride out, but I must not expend seven and sixpence as often as I like. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 25

I have written during the forenoon. After dinner Sister Tuxford walked out with me. We ascended the hill where the prison is located and obtained an extensive view of Wellington. We can take it nearly all in. I did not suppose so many buildings could be crowded into so little space. It is a beautiful location for a building. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 26

Wind is rising this afternoon and the dust is flying. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 27

Tuesday, June 27, 1893

I have not slept since early a.m. After trying in vain to sleep for a couple of hours, I arise and commence writing. My mind and heart are drawn out to write important matter in regard to Christ being our life. We have eternal life through Christ Jesus. Eternal life is not inherited. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 28

I walked out alone, for no one seemed at liberty to accompany me. I had a pleasant walk. The air is clear and bracing, and the sun is shining beautifully. I walked in the park—the Reserve, it is called, because it is reserved by the Government for all, rich and poor, to be free to enjoy it. I sat upon the seats for a while, and the walk benefited me. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 29

I prepared a bundle of articles for Elder Israel to take up to Sister Brown’s. She left us sick. I hope she will improve. Brother Israel reads some of the articles and leaves the rest for them to read as they shall find time, and then return to me. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 30

Wednesday, June 28, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I have slept well during the night. Slept until five o’clock. Thank the Lord for this favor. I have been asking the Lord to give me rest in sleep. When I speak to the congregation I feel so deeply the situation of those present who are in need of the truth to sanctify their souls that I carry the burden of their case upon my soul. I know that Christ alone is the Sin-bearer. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 31

Sister Tuxford accompanied me in my walk this morning. It is a beautiful day, and I am grateful to my heavenly Father that I can walk even a short distance. In the afternoon Sister Tuxford, Emily, and I walked to the tram, which was doing well for me. After the tram left us we walked a short distance, but enough for me. My hip began to pain me considerably. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 32

We visited Sister Glover, who has been an invalid for more than a year. Sister Glover herself came to the door, as her girl who does the housework was away, but her countenance showed much physical suffering. Two ladies were present and a third came. After a time all left, and we had some conversation with Sister Glover and then a praying season. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 33

We all sent up our petitions to heaven in her behalf. She prayed earnestly for herself. Of one thing I am assured, if she continues to keep herself under the care of the doctors she will die through drug medication. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 34

We are trying to study what we can say to help the poor woman. We tried to our best ability to take her to Jesus in the arms of our faith and lay the poor soul as best we could at His feet and say, Pitying, sympathizing Redeemer, heal her of her many maladies. Thou art the great, the chief Physician, not only of the soul but of the body as well. Thou art the only One who can apply the balm of Gilead. All four of us with voice sent up our supplications to God in the name of the Lord Jesus, the Sin-bearer, the Lamb of God who taketh away the sins of the world. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 35

In the evening we were again compelled to know how uncertain is human life. At about twelve o’clock Sister Tuxford met the proprietor of the water-cure establishment, which is located a short distance from here. He was passing the mission house and they had some conversation in regard to the beautiful day we were enjoying. Between two and three o’clock he had breathed his last. He was apparently in good health and spirits. We have not learned all the particulars, to state them accurately. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 36

Thursday, June 29, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I have had a precious night’s rest and am thankful to my heavenly Father. We had a most beautiful, clear moonlight night. This morning there was some frost. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 37

I have a fire in my room today. Have not had a fire before for several days. Am writing on life of Christ. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 38

We have secured a wheelchair, that I can be wheeled in the open air when I cannot ride in carriage. Emily wheeled me out, and she thinks it will prove a success, that it will be the means of getting me out into the sunshine more than I otherwise would go, because I do not wish to expend money to ride out, as it costs seven shillings and sixpence every time I have the horse and phaeton. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 39

We took a short walk, Sister Tuxford and I, and I am convinced I walked too much in going to take the tram, to take us on our way to Sister Glover’s. We had quite a little walk to reach the place after the tram left us, and then to return and take the tram, and after it left us to go home to my rooms. All this walking injured my poor, sick limb or hip. I am very unwilling to give up exercise, but must either give it up entirely or limit it to a very less degree than I have done. Thank the Lord my reason is good. I can write. And I am improving in health as the cold weather strengthens. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 40

When returning from walking past the barracks for the soldiers’ station, we heard the tramp of many feet. We turned and looked and there was a long file of men—convicts serving out their term in prison for criminal offenses. Six stern officers with guns in their hands were marching on either side of these men, one going before, one in the rear, and the others stationed at distances apart by their side. All convicts had on white caps and white canvas pants with three-cornered bits of blue cloth stitched fast in these garments. They were probably just coming from their breakfast, being conducted to their prison cells. It was a sad sight to us. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 41

One man has been in prison several times and is a convict now—Brother Martin’s son. Brother Martin lives at Dunedin and he and his family are doing a good work in selling books. He always deals honorably. He is prompt, and large orders are received from him at the International Society. But how sad it must be to have a son thus dishonor his parents! His father says he was one of the hardest cases on record. His life was licentious, and he was sowing a terrible crop which he has had to harvest. The sins of the father have reached to the children. The father received the truth and it has wrought a transformation of character, revealing what the truth can do for poor souls who are demoralized by sin. His reformation is not doubted by those who know him. They say the truth he has received has worked a miracle for him. And so it will for all who believe in Jesus Christ as their personal Saviour, for Jesus Christ can save to the uttermost all who come unto Him. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 42

Saturday, July 1, 1893

This day a portion of American mail came to us, having gone to Melbourne and returned from Melbourne to Wellington. Received letters from Willie. We were glad to hear from them all. I have been tracing on paper lines in regard to the last day of Christ in the temple courts, when He exposed the Pharisees’ and lawyers’ hypocrisy. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 43

Sunday, July 2, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

It is again a beautiful day. At two o’clock p.m. there was an imposing procession doing honor to the gentleman who died suddenly last Thursday. There was a band, and over one hundred marching two and two. It is sad to think that the last rites and services that can be done for mortal man have been done, and he is laid in his narrow earth home to rest until the morning of the resurrection when all that are in their graves shall hear His voice and come forth, they that have done good, the righteous, in the first resurrection, and they that have done evil in the second resurrection, after the thousand years are finished. Solemn, solemn thought for us individually to contemplate—shall I be one who shall have a part in the first resurrection, upon whom the second death can have no power? Oh, that my life, may be hid with Christ in God, that when Christ, who is my life, shall appear, I also may appear with Him in glory. I am striving to enter in at the strait gate, to travel the narrow path cast up for the ransomed of the Lord to walk in. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 44

“Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” Hebrews 13:20, 21. The penalty of the law was fulfilled in Christ through His obedience unto death, making it possible for every sinner, through repentance and faith in Christ as his Redeemer to have eternal life. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 45

To the honor and glory of God, His beloved Son—the Surety, the Substitute—was delivered up and descended into the prisonhouse of the grave. The new tomb enclosed Him in its rocky chambers. If one single sin had tainted His character the stone would never have been rolled away from the door of His rocky chamber, and the world with its burden of guilt would have perished. But it was only for a little while the divine Vanquisher seemed the vanquished. The serpent had bruised the heel, but Christ could not be holden by death. The stone was rolled away. The Lord Jesus walked forth from His prison house a triumphant, majestic conqueror, and proclaimed over the rent sepulcher of Joseph, “I am the resurrection and the life.” [John 11:25.] Let every believer now rejoice. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.” 1 Peter 1:3. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 46

Wednesday, July 5, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I have had a restless night. I have passed through the process of having my teeth extracted during my dreams. Sister Caro came in the night; is in the house. I met her in the morning at the breakfast table. She said, “Are you sorry to see me?” I answered, “I am pleased to meet Sister Caro, certainly, not so certain whether I am pleased to meet Mrs. Dr. Caro, dentist.” At ten o’clock I was in the chair and in a short time eight teeth were drawn. I was glad when the job was over. I did not wince or groan. My hand was held as steadily as if I had been writing and a nerve was set in motion by the operation. I had asked the Lord to strengthen me and give me grace to endure the painful process, and I know the Lord heard my prayer. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 47

After the teeth were extracted Sister Caro shook like an aspen leaf. Her hands were shaking and she was suffering pain of body. She had felt sick, she said, on the cars during her ten hours’ ride. She dreaded to give pain to Sister White. She slept little Tuesday night and could scarcely eat in the morning, but she knew she must perform the operation and went through with it. Then the patient waited upon the doctor; I had her seated in my easy chair and gave her sips of cholera mixture—all the stimulus I had in the house. Sister Caro is not a weakling by any means. She is a tall, queenly-looking woman and thorough master of her business. The muscles of her arms are like steel. She can go through all the disagreeable performances firm and composed in ordinary cases. She knew I had borne much pain and that she should be the agent to give me pain caused her much more suffering than it did me. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 48

I thank my heavenly Father I bore the trial without a groan and in the use of my senses. I took nothing to stupefy me, and as the result have not the influence of stupefying drugs to recover from. I am pleased to bid farewell to these teeth that have caused me so great suffering. I have expended no less than one hundred and fifty dollars on them and endured very much pain. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 49

I feel so thankful that I have assurance that the Lord is to me a present help in every time of need. I arose early this morning to prepare and complete articles to send to Fannie for the papers, articles on [the] life of Christ for Marian, letters for Willie. Some of these I had to finish after the teeth drawing, for Brother Lyndon takes the boat at about two o’clock for Melbourne school. Sister Caro did not leave today as expected on [the] afternoon train. I kept my chamber and did not care to sit at the table with them. I suffered considerable pain. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 50

Thursday, July 6, 1893

I had a beautiful night’s rest. The Lord is very merciful to me to give me sweet sleep. I will praise His holy name. He is better unto me than all my fears. I suffer considerable pain but I can bear it. Sister Caro left for the cars at six a.m. The rain was pouring down. She anticipated seeing her sister in Palmerston a short period and going on the same afternoon to Napier. We read in the newspaper the trains could not advance, for there was a landslide and the bridge was carried away. So she will have a longer visit than she anticipated with her sister in Palmerston. The destruction was between Palmerston and Napier. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 51

(Later:—Letter received from Sister Caro from Napier saying she had arrived home as she desired, all safe.) 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 52

Friday, July 7, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

Slept excellently well last night. Oh how precious is sleep when the body so much needs repairs that nature can give her! 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 53

I wrote some today. Pain is making me very nervous, but I keep this to myself. It will do no good (to talk of it). The Lord is our present help in every time of need. He is my trust. It is hard to keep quiet when I am seeing so much writing to be done. Letters are constantly coming for an answer, and should I write to the many that I desire, I should not find any time to write on the life of Christ. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 54

Saturday, July 8, 1893

Slept well during the past night and my heart goes out in thank offerings to God. I cannot venture out today. It is a beautiful day. The storm we have had for a few days seems to be ended and the sun shines. I venture to write today upon Bible subjects a few pages. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 55

Sunday, July 9, 1893

Slept well last night, and I am deeply impressed with the goodness and tender compassion of the Lord to me, His unworthy child. I am altogether better than I had feared I would be. I have to treat my mouth nearly constantly with lotions left by my Sister Dr. Caro. The Lord is good and greatly to be praised. I lay hold of the writing in earnest today and have mail to prepare for Melbourne and for America. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 56

Monday, July 10, 1893

Sweet night’s rest, oh what a blessing! Have slept more hours since the operation on my teeth than I have done heretofore since I came to this country. The Lord is my Restorer; the enemy is my destroyer. It is storming hard today. The rain just pours down at intervals. I pursue my writing steadily, for there is much which I wish to accomplish. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 57

Tuesday, July 11, 1893

Slept well. Praise the Lord for His mercies multiplied unto me fresh every morning and new every evening. The Lord is good and greatly to be praised. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 58

Wednesday, July 12, 1893

I rested not quite as well the past night. Cannot sleep past three a.m. and arise to write [matter] to go in American mail. I have written to Frank Belden, for his case troubles my mind. He has not kept his soul in the love of God. He has been spiritually dead for some time. Influences have combined to make him confused and to make him move uncertainly. I wrote him a most, earnest, decided letter to change his course of action and seek the Lord most earnestly while He is to be found. I have written many letters today. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 59

We had a visit from Elder Israel and an aged Christian brother from Auckland. We had some important conversation in reference to our faith. I knew not how to spare two hours’ time when I had so much to do in getting off the mail, but we hope this old gentleman, Mr. Langford [?], will see the truth and become a keeper of all the commandments. He seems to be honest and earnest and wants the truth. I gave him Steps to Christ and Patriarchs and Prophets, and told him to read and circulate them. Notwithstanding this visit of two hours, I wrote about twenty pages today of letter paper. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 60

Thursday, July 13, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I was not able to sleep after two o’clock. After trying hard to lose myself in sleep until past three o’clock I arise and commence to write to Elder Olsen an important article in reference to the necessity of having the Spirit of Jesus Christ in all of our councils. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 61

I think we shall do well to consider more critically and to obey with a purpose the lessons given us in regard to the prodigal son and the lost sheep. I was drawn out to write to Elder Olsen upon this matter. The sheep that stray away from the fold are not brought back. There is not a going into the wilderness—representing the darkness and confusion of the sheep that is lost. He can never find his way back without help. His spiritual state is represented in the very best and most appropriate representation in the wilderness. There the shepherd, tender and true, does not hesitate to go. He leaves the ninety and nine in the fold and goes into the dreary wilderness. It is far from a pleasant pastime. He endures everything—storm, cold, roughness of the way—but that sheep must be searched for and found and brought back to the fold. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 62

The sheep is bewildered, lost, and knows not where he is or how to rescue himself; he rushes this way and that in sheer desperation. He is miserable, dissatisfied, frightened at his whereabouts, but yet he keeps rushing on, farther and farther from the gates of heaven, farther from the Shepherd’s care and protection. On, on he goes, through brush, through briars and pitfalls, rushing first one way then another. Certainly he is in a wilderness of bewilderment. Lost, lost, lost! Who feels the burden of a true shepherd? Who sees the danger? Who is susceptible to the misery, the wretchedness of that soul who has known and enjoyed the love of Jesus, the guardianship of the compassionate Shepherd? Through the deceiving, deluding power of Satan he has gone from the fold, left his pleasant pasture. Who will bring him back? 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 63

Friday, July 14, 1893

Slept well until two o’clock, then could sleep no more. I went out of the house for the first time for about two weeks. We are privileged with the use of the bathtub, hot and cold water, at Elder Israel’s hired house. Took bath and retired early. Feel very grateful to my heavenly Father for the blessing of refreshing sleep. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 64

We got off the American mail. I thought it would not be much, but it was a large mail and yet not one half [the people] are written to that I desire to help and comfort and strengthen. I think of several to whom I would be pleased to write, but I felt pressed to write to some ones in particular and upon special subjects which I felt constrained to write upon. The mail is gone and that burden is off my mind and yet there lingers a regret I did not write to others. But I will lay the burden off for I could not do more. Emily sat up until two o’clock a.m. to copy on calligraph. She has a strain upon her, as well as I—all that she can bear; and now no more letters can go for another four weeks. Expect another American mail next Monday. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 65

Saturday, July 15, 1893

Slept unusually well through the night, and I thank my heavenly Father for the blessing of good health and strength and courage in the Lord. “Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.” [Psalm 103:1.] About nine o’clock the American mail was brought in by the carrier and we had a feast in reading the church papers and letters from friends. We had a pleasant day Sabbath. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 66

Sunday, July 16, 1893

Slept well during the night and write during the day. It is quite cold today. Telegram received from _____ to Sister Tuxford and I was obliged to spend the day in writing to Napier to Brother Wilson to be read to [Louise] Christie, who is not doing as he should do. He complains because our people do not give him work when the poor, deceived boy is in no condition to correctly represent the cause of God. He would leave the marks of dishonesty, of falsehood, wherever he goes. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 67

Monday, July 17, 1893

Rested well. The Lord is merciful to me and I am so grateful for His loving kindness. Telegram received evening after the Sabbath makes it necessary to write quite lengthily. Wrote to Elder Wilson six pages of letter paper and continued the subject that I shall not have to take it up again. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 68

Tuesday, July 18, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

Could not sleep after three a.m. I try to write to a poor, misguided, deceived man to show him his danger of losing eternal life. Wrote eight pages to him and twelve pages upon importance of all who are connected with any branch of the work of God having the truth firmly rooted in the heart, sanctifying the life, and as a sure result, elevating and ennobling the whole man. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 69

God has given to every man talents in trust. To every man He has given his work. There can be no idlers in His vineyard. Each has most earnest, sacred, solemn work to do for the Master. To every one is committed some work to do and none is excused. The day of final account will come, when the Lord reckons with His servants. The Chief Shepherd is Judge and illustrates the great principles which are to regulate the proceedings of the reckoning with His servants who are justified by faith, judged by their works. Faith works by love and purifies the soul of moral defilement that it may become a temple for the Lord. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 70

The entrusted talents are not reserved for a favorite few who are exalted above their fellow men in education, in smartness of intellect. The talents are endowments bestowed upon the Lord’s family individually, from the lowliest and most obscure to those who are in highest positions of trust. The entrusted gifts are proportioned to our varied capabilities, and every one is to use these talents to God’s glory. He is to increase their usefulness because through using them he becomes more and better qualified to trade on his Lord’s goods and to accumulate by trading. The light of truth and all spiritual advantages are the Lord’s gifts. They are to be appreciated and are to have influence upon the mind and character. We are to return to God corresponding increase, according to the gifts entrusted. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 71

We have by grace been chosen as His servants. A servant means a worker, one who bears cares, burdens, responsibilities. United with Christ by living faith, through His grace we are laborers together with God. What a statement is this! And we are to realize that it is not our goods we are handling, but the Master’s entrusted capital for us to invest and increase as wise stewards of our Lord’s goods, that we may return to Him His investment with usury. We cannot hoard the Lord’s goods and do nothing with it; thus did the slothful servant with his one pound, and lost his soul. Every man has a solemn work to do, and he cannot trifle with his time; he cannot trifle with his privileges and his opportunities granted him. He must improve in character, in ability, according to his privileges and opportunities, to make a complete worker in the cause of God. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 72

Wednesday, July 19, 1893

Lost two hours’ sleep during the night. Waken in morning at half past four. I thank my heavenly Father that I am feeling refreshed in body and in mind. I commit myself every morning to the Lord, in earnest prayer that He will control my mind through the day. I plead with God that through the imparted grace of Christ I may have every thought brought into captivity to Jesus Christ. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 73

Mail came from Melbourne today. Letters from W. C. White, Brother and Sister Starr, and Marian Davis, and two large packages of copy of manuscript sent to the American mail for papers and periodicals. I sent W. C. White four pages, Marian and Fannie four pages, Brother and Sister Starr two pages and half. We could not eat until this mail was sent. We would have been glad for more time but we had it not. I am grateful I could send as much. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 74

Letter came from Brother Wilson to Sister Tuxford which she permitted me to send to W. C. White. Called on Sister Israel. Met Sister Hamilton from Brennan. Visited with her a short time. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 75

I have written a letter to Leroy Nicola by lamplight this evening, in response to a humble confession sent to me two months since. He confesses his sin in taking the position he did in Minneapolis, and holding it so long without making confession. He makes full confession and I am rejoiced. I praise the Lord for this victory over the powers of darkness. Elder Morrison has, I understand, made a full and thorough confession publicly and he is again a free man. I have written four pages of letter paper to Leroy Nicola and then have written a stirring appeal in regard to the parable of the lost sheep. This striking representation has made altogether too little impression on the minds of God’s people. They have not been doers of the work which this parable clearly defines should be done to save the straying sheep and bring them back with rejoicing to the fold. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 76

Thursday, July 20, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I awoke early this morning. It is a beautiful day. I rode out for the first time in four weeks. The weather has been quite stormy, and my teeth being taken out makes it rather precarious going out. We had a very pleasant ride to Island Bay. We kept the road where we could get the greatest amount of sunshine. I think I was favored. There were no strong winds; the waters were not beating upon the rocks as I have hitherto seen them—roaring and breaking upon the rocks as if charging against a fort and rising twenty or forty feet high. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 77

It is a grand sight to see the waves rush on with such force that it seems they would carry everything before them; they charge against the granite rocks, which resist their force; and then another wave rolls on, gathering strength as it advances and urges itself against the rocky barrier. White as the snow, it dashes its waves in broken spray many feet high. I enjoy looking at this, but I should far rather take pleasure in the sea while standing on terra firma than to be riding in a steamer on the water. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 78

Friday, July 21, 1893

I am thankful for rest in sleep. The Lord is good and greatly to be praised. Letters came from Brother Wilson in regard to [Louise] Christie. He receives not the testimony of reproof. Sister Charlton has had pity upon the young man and he is taking a course which reveals himself in no favorable light. Sister Tuxford decides to go to Napier. I send with her much matter to read. Oh that God would help that people that they may see everything in a true, clear light! God has been working for them in Napier. The camp meeting has been a great blessing. Souls are deciding for the truth. Elder Wilson has baptized another Maori youth who intends to go to Melbourne school to be educated in Bible studies. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 79

But the enemy will work wherever God is at work. When the people are asleep he is not concerned. When they arise to shine as lights in the world then he is not at all easy. Three men who attended the camp meeting were separated from the church because they would not give up their tobacco. Since the camp meeting, they have had no minister with them except Sister Caro. But the Lord has been with them. Those who formerly resisted the testimonies have taken their stand upon them firmly, and a good spirit prevails. May the Lord continue the blessed work begun. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 80

The same horse and carriage that took Sister Tuxford to the steamer, we improved in taking a short ride to Island Bay. It was pleasant and the ride did us good. Sabbath was drawing on, and we hastened to return to get the horse into the stable and to begin the Sabbath with devotional exercises. Elder Israel is away, visiting twenty or thirty miles from Wellington. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 81

Saturday, July 22, 1893

Another Sabbath day of rest. We long for the blessing of God to rest upon us as it rested upon the Sabbath when it was instituted in Eden. When the foundation of the world was laid the foundation of the Sabbath was laid. After six days’ work of Jehovah through Jesus Christ in creating the world, and man, the last grand work coming from His hand, the Sabbath was ordained of God and set apart to be sacredly observed as a day of rest and worship. After He had rested upon that day, He blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, and gave it to man to be observed throughout all time. He placed His sanctity upon the day of His rest, when the morning stars sang together and all the host of heaven shouted for joy. Those who assembled at Brother Israel’s had a good meeting. Two not observing the Sabbath were present. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 82

Saturday, July 23, 1893

Rise early and write out some things in regard to [Louis] Christie’s case. Oh how difficult for one to see and acknowledge his wrong course of action! 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 83

It is raining today, quite hard at times. This rain came unexpectedly. There are a great many running from the churches to get home out of the rain. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 84

Monday, July 24, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

My mind is burdened upon many subjects. I am drawn out to write to those who are in peril through manifold temptations. I have written largely upon the subject of Achan in Old Testament history, for many are in great danger of following his example. His great sin was in the building up of a character that was in many respects defective and not making God his trust. He had no moral power to resist temptation. The Lord Jesus Christ in the billowy cloud enumerated his sins as grievous and He specifies the character of the sins which were bringing guilt upon the whole of Israel. The Lord would not go out with their armies to battle against their enemies while this sin existed. Israel was humiliated before the heathen nations, and their wicked hands were strengthened against Israel, for the Lord’s presence was not with them. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 85

Joshua could not account for this strange adversity. He knew God would not be glorified in this victory gained by their enemies, and he afflicted his soul. He lay upon the earth in distress; but Achan, the sinner, was not troubled. Joshua mourned out his prayer, “O Lord, what shall I say, when Israel turneth their backs before their enemies! ... And the Lord said unto Joshua, ... Israel hath sinned, and they have also transgressed my covenant which I commanded them.” This one man’s sin was charged to the whole camp of Israel. “For they have even taken of the accursed thing, and have also stolen, and dissembled also, and they have put it even among their own stuff.” Joshua 7:8-11. The Lord did not name the person. The responsible men must search out the guilty one, and the Lord Jesus showed them how to do this. He did not name all the things which Achan had done, but specified some things. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 86

I wrote quite fully in reference to this matter and it is to appear before the Napier church. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 87

Rode out to Island Bay and came round the lake road. The Island Bay waters never have presented so calm an appearance to our eyes as on this occasion. How peaceful seemed the waters, beautifully deep blue. We used up our full three hours in riding around the Slip, called thus because there is a place where the steamers are brought on land for repairs. The wind blew quite strong on the bay road, but we enjoyed the ride very much. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 88

Tuesday, July 25, 1893

Cannot sleep past three o’clock. I thank the Lord for the precious rest I have had. I wrote a letter of many pages to a poor, erring, straying sheep, until called to breakfast. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 89

Letters came from Napier giving statements from Sister Tuxford and from Elder Wilson in regard to the young man Louis Christie. He seems to be determined to receive no reproof. Refuses to believe the testimony for himself and is fully determined to deny everything until plain proof comes, then he will manifest no sorrow or grief for the sin of lying and dissembling and crookedness. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 90

Sister Tuxford says she will not be home until Wednesday night and will bring Sister Charlton, her mother, with her. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 91

I have written today upon the sin of blasphemy. It has rained hard all day and the wind has blown hard. It was most impossible to keep my feet upon the ground and get into the gate leading to the back door. I had taken my bath in the bathroom at Elder Israel’s and it was severe going and returning. It has been quite a gloomy day. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 92

The tenement next to this is closely connected, only a board partition dividing our tenements. The family of children have all been sick with measles. Mr. Morril keeps a dry goods store in part of the house. He informed Emily his wife was very sick with rheumatic fever. We are sorry indeed for them. We think the high winds of today must cleanse and purify the atmosphere. This is a renovating process in the providence of God for Wellington. Measles and mumps prevail. There is a bounty given to physicians to report all cases of measles—two shillings six, about 60 cents in American money—and there are so many cases the city authorities question whether the bounty shall not be done away with. Already they have paid three hundred and more pounds for the cases that have been reported. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 93

We cannot feel that this is a healthful place, with this showing, but the habits of the people in eating and dressing have very much to do in bringing about this state of things. No plague has yet come nigh our dwelling, and we are grateful to God that He has preserved us from sickness during the three months we have made it our home in Wellington. There is great carelessness with the people in exposing themselves to drafts and wet feet. Little children go through winter with sox, their limbs naked just above the ankle to several inches above the knees. The fashionable short pants are life-destroyers. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 94

Wednesday, July 26, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I thank the Lord for the precious sleep I have had during the night. I rose at four a.m. and commenced writing. The wind has blown very strong all night, and rain has been coming down freely. It is now half past six a.m. and the rain is coming in torrents. The wind has shaken the house and I have felt my bed shaken through the night. I feel my heart filled with gratitude to my heavenly Father for His blessing which has rested upon me this winter. I have had no serious attacks of rheumatism. I have at times felt better healthwise than for years, and yet this is called by many an unhealthful climate. Emily, through much typewriting, is not very well. She needs a change, and when the weather clears off she shall have a change. It is very dark and rainy. It looks as if a blanket covered the face of the sky. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 95

[Later.] About ten o’clock the clouds rolled back and clear sky appeared. It is more cheerful out of doors now. Received an excellent letter from Sister Martha Brown answering my suggestion to come and visit them and stay a few days by the Bay. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 96

The name of the place where they live is Long Point. They welcome us to their home and seem to be overjoyed with the prospect of a visit from us. We cannot well leave this week, but we will get off next week if the Lord will. We need some change. Our stay here is too monotonous. We need more variety, more change in our work. One cannot keep upon one strain continuously without breaking down. It has been one steady strain early and late, but there must come a halt. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 97

Sister Hamilton from Brennan is anxious I shall visit them, but there is no place where we can be made comfortable. Sister Hamilton visited us last evening and remained after our season of prayer. Oh how much we need power from God to help the people just where they need help and strengthen them where and when they need strength. 8LtMs, Ms 81, 1893, par. 98