Manuscript Releases, vol. 10 [Nos. 771-850]

12/86

MR No. 781—Ellen G. White and Family Life

God Has Given Man the Preference—You have sought to please your friends altogether too much, and if you would have eternal life you must cut loose from relatives and acquaintances and not seek to please them but, have your eye single to the glory of God, and serve Him with your whole heart. This will not wean you from your husband at all, but will draw you closer to him, and cause you to leave father, mother, sisters and brothers and friends and cleave to your husband, and love him better than anyone on earth, and make his wishes your wishes. And you can live in harmony and happiness.... 10MR 20.1

God has given the man the preference, he is the head, and the wife is to obey the husband, and the husband is not to be bitter against the wife, but love her as his own body. Dear sister, I saw that you were not half given up to God, not half consecrated to Him. Your will was not swallowed up in the will of God. And you must get ready, fitted and prepared for Christ's coming, or you will come short, be weighed in the balance and found wanting. You must be more devoted to God, more in earnest about your soul's salvation and eternal interest. I saw that if you would labor with your husband for God, you would not lose your reward. That is, labor to have him free and not lay a feather in his way, but cheer, encourage, and hold him up by your prayers.—Letter 6, 1854, pp. 1-2. (To Mrs. J. N. Loughborough, Winter of 1854.) 10MR 20.2

God Is Sifting His People—It is true the world is dark. Opposition may wax strong. The trifler and scorner may grow bolder and harder in their iniquity. Yet, for all this, we will not be moved. We have not run as uncertainly. No, no. My heart is fixed, trusting in God. We have a whole Saviour. We can rejoice in His rich fullness. I long to be more devoted to God, more consecrated to Him. This world is too dark for me. Jesus said He would go away and prepare mansions for us, that where He is we may be also. Praise God for this. My heart leaps with joy at the cheering prospect.... 10MR 21.1

Dear sister, do not be discouraged. God is sifting His people. He will have a clean and holy people. We cannot read the heart of man. God has not placed in man a window, that we can look into his heart and see what is there, but He has opened ways to keep the church pure and clean. A people have arisen, a corrupt people that could not live with the people of God. All their evil passions must be gratified. They had a suitable time to repent if they would, and overcome their wrongs, but no. Self was too dear to die. They nourished it and it grew strong, and they separated from the peculiar, self-denying people of God.... 10MR 21.2

The sieve is going, and let us not say, “Stay Thy hand, O God.” We know not the heart of man. If God causes the feelings of the heart to be manifested and gives you sight of what is in the heart by the words of the mouth (by the fullness of the heart the mouth speaketh), let it not afflict your soul too much, although your hopes may be cruelly disappointed. But the church must be purged, and will be. “Fret not thyself because of evildoers.” God reigns; let the people tremble.—Letter 2a, 1856, pp. 2,3,4. (To Brother and Sister Loveland, January 24, 1856.) 10MR 21.3

The Death of John Herbert White—The past year has been a year of peculiar trials to me. It has been a year of discouragements and suffering. Twenty-four days and twenty-four nights we watched our suffering little one, but it seemed to be our heavenly Father's will to take him from us. We feel to submit to His wise providence. Much of the time during his sickness I was mourning and pleading before the Lord that, if consistent with His will, my precious one might be spared. I could give vent to my feelings with bitter tears. But when my little one was dying, I could not weep. I fainted at the funeral, but although my heart ached to bursting, I could not shed a tear. For one week this anguish pressed me. My mind was in a continual study as to why it should be so. 10MR 22.1

While my baby lived, I thought I knew what my duty was. I pressed him to my heart and rejoiced that at least for one winter I should be released from any great responsibility, for it was not my duty to travel in winter with my infant. But when he was removed, I was again thrown into great uncertainty. The drowsy state of God's people nearly crushed me. A horror of great darkness came over me. I could not sleep through the night, for a severe pain was in my heart. I could find no rest in any position [in which] I might lie. Finally I fainted, and continued to faint a number of times, until my husband was seriously alarmed. He feared I must die. He sent for the brethren [Brethren Amadon, Kellogg, and C. Smith (Testimonies for the Church 1:247-8).] to come and pray for me. Their fervent and effectual prayers prevailed with God. I was relieved, and immediately taken off in vision. The cause of God in different places was then presented before me.—Letter 17, 1861, pp. 1-2. (To W. S. Ingraham, January 17, 1861.) 10MR 22.2

Ellen White Needs Help With Domestic Duties—Lucinda, in order to do my duty in writing and helping James in his writing I ought to have a girl with me all the time to take the care of the sewing from me. For five weeks Sister Cynthia Carr has been with me, but she must soon leave and then again I shall have no help. Sometimes I think I will confine myself to my little family and attend to their wants, but if I do I am sure to lose ground and bring condemnation on myself. I hope that the Lord will raise me up suitable help, if He has a work for me to do. I cannot do my duty to my family and devote myself to the benefit of God's children too. My mind cannot be everlastingly planning and cutting and contriving, and yet be prepared to write for the Review and Instructor and answer the numerous letters sent in to me. I want to know my place and then I will try to fill it. Lucinda, I was thankful for your help when you were with us. I know that it was a great sacrifice for your mother to have you come so far from home. But if you could come home and be with me again the coming winter and spring, I should be perfectly suited.—Letter 27, 1861, pp. 1-2. (To Lucinda Hall, June 19, 1861.) 10MR 23.1

James White Suffers Unpleasant Memories, Must Delegate Responsibilities—Sabbath, June 6, 1863, I was shown some things in regard to my husband and myself. I saw that Satan was persevering in his efforts to destroy our usefulness. I saw that we neither understood the depth and keenness of the heart trials of the other. Each heart was peculiarly sensitive, therefore each should be especially careful not to cause the other one shade of sadness or trial. Trials without will come, but strong in each other's love, each deeply sympathizing with the other, united in the work of God, [we] can stand nobly, faithfully together, and every trial will only work for good if well borneI saw that my husband had expected others to carry out things just as they were in his mind, just as he would carry them out. When they fail to do this, it annoys him, his peace is destroyed. He can see and take in readily at a glance more than some can see or comprehend with some study. This has troubled him, because others could not carry out his mind and views of order and perfection in their work. Therefore he has felt he must see to this and that, fearing it will be done wrong. Even if it was done wrong a few times, he should not perplex his mind and take the burden of overseeing these things. Let those who labor in the Office learn, let them practice and study and perplex their own brains, make a failure, correct it, and try again, avoiding their former mistakes. In this way they will learn to bear burdens and responsibilities and can take that care which it is their duty to take. 10MR 23.2

My husband must take time to do those things which his judgment tells him will preserve his health. He has thought that he must throw off the burdens which were upon him and leave the Office and throw off responsibilities and cares, or his mind would be a wreck. I saw that when the Lord released him from his position, He would give him just a clear evidence of his release as He gave him when He laid the burden of the work upon him. But I saw that he had borne too many burdens and his ministering brethren have let him bear them. They have stood back and excused themselves while he was weighed down, crushed beneath censure until God vindicated His cause. If they had taken their share of the burdens it would have eased him greatly, but instead of this there have been more burdens caused by the course pursued by the ministers than by all the people. The shepherds have been unwise and the poor sheep have suffered from unwise, as well as from false, shepherds.—Manuscript 1, 1863, 1, 4-5. (“Testimony Regarding James and Ellen White.”) 10MR 24.1

Mutual Trust Needed Between Husband and Wife—I was shown that although a couple were married, gave themselves to each other by a most solemn vow in the sight of heaven and holy angels, and the two were one, yet each had a separate identity which the marriage covenant could not destroy. Although bound to one another, yet each has an influence to exert in the world and they should not be so selfishly engrossed with each other as to shut themselves away from society and bury up their usefulness and influence 10MR 24.2

Many cases have been shown me in vision where the first evil seed sown in the family was an expression, look, or act of doubt on the part of the wife in regard to her husband's love or his attentions. Nothing can wound a man of integrity like this—to know that she who has given him her hand and has given her life's happiness into his keeping distrusts him, that he has not her entire confidence; that his words, his goings out and his comings in are watched with uneasiness and jealousy; that he cannot act without restraint in the society of friends who visit him; that he cannot be cheerful, happy, or social with his friends; that an eye is upon him and he must act guardedly and restrained. A barrier is soon formed between the two who should have perfect trust in each other; then coldness and neglect follow, and the husband is driven by the jealousy of his wife to find in other society that which he cannot find at home with his wife and children.—Letter 9, 1864, p. 2. (To Sister Howland, March 20, 1864.) 10MR 25.1

“Guilty Love” Rebuked—I hear you have said, “I love B.” What business have you to love B, when he belongs to another? Will you ruin and break an innocent wife's heart for the sake of gratifying your guilty love? 10MR 25.2

What family is safe if others pursue the Heaven-daring course you have? They might just as properly enter into my family, insinuate themselves into my husband's affections and then tear him from me to satisfy their guilty love. Again I ask you, Are you so hardened that you have no fear of God, of His fierce anger, which will soon come upon the sinner unmixed with mercy? You are willing to sell your soul cheap, disgrace your children, to satisfy your lustful heart. 10MR 25.3

After you have gotten B, what then? You have a man who fears not to break God's law, who fears not to break the heart of a kind wife who has borne him many children and laid them in the grave—a wife who has given him the warmth of her affections in youth—a wife he has lived with until they are on the decline of life! Think you after you get this B for yourself entirely, after you steal him from the wife of his youth, he will ever remain constant and true to you, who have accomplished so much evil to satisfy your guilty love? The truth found B a hard case. It was done everything for him. Now he has no fear of God, no fear of transgressing His law, evil angels take charge of his mind and yours, and then how constant and true and even will your love run? You have sowed to yourself misery, misery. Ever more will a guilty conscience haunt you. Is it possible now for you to retrace your steps? Is it possible that a merciful God would pity you yet? 10MR 26.1

How dare you love B and add to your sin that of breaking his wife's heart? Oh, you have sold heaven very cheap. You have shown what is your choice. Your life has marked your choice, that of being outside the city with dogs, sorcerers, adulterers, whoremongers, and those who love and make a lie.—Letter 12, 1864, pp. 2-3. 10MR 26.2

News and Instructions Sent From Dansville—We are all as well as could be expected. Your father is doing well. He sleeps well nights, which is a great blessing. I have been thoroughly exhausted since my journey and have had but little care of your father. Brother Loughborough lay on a cot by his side two nights and he and your father both slept well. Last night Uriah lay upon the cot by his side. I know not, as yet, how they rested. I cannot sleep much, which prevents my getting rested.... 10MR 26.3

In regard to Edson's clothing, sponge seven yards or the whole of the smallest piece of that gray, and then let Edson take the cloth to the best tailors and get it cut whole frock, for that is the style now worn. I do not wish it to be cut half frock, for I never fancied it. Find out how much a tailor would ask to cut and make up the coat and write me as soon as you receive this, then I will answer immediately.... 10MR 27.1

If a man tailor makes these coats they must cost too much for making. If you can obtain a good woman tailor whom you can trust, engage her to make both coats, if she does not ask too much.—Letter 5, 1865, pp. 1, 2 (To Dear Children, Adelia, Anna, Edson, and Willie, September 18, 1865) 10MR 27.2

Ellen White's Deep Interest in Her Husband—Last night was a cold night. I dreaded sleeping alone in a cold room, but my nice warm nightdress was finished and I put it on and it was real comfortable.... My sewing is going off bravely without my taxing myself at all.... 10MR 27.3

Dear James, I feel a deep interest for you every moment, and my heart is uplifted to God in your behalf. I shall be glad to return home in a few days and again stand at my post and do what I can for your comfort. I think it is right that I came here [Rochester, NY].... 10MR 27.4

Please speak your wishes freely and I will do just as you wish. I should prefer to come home, for I want to see you very much. May the Lord bless you abundantly, is my prayer. I hope dear Adelia will be of good courage. I will relieve her soon. I fully appreciate her self-denial and privations for us and I pray that God will bless her with His free Spirit.—Letter 9, 1865, p. 2. (To James White, November 22, 1865) 10MR 27.5

The Saviour's Eye Is on James White—We will present your case to God, dear James, every time we pray, and will press our petitions to the throne. At times I have had a blessed assurance that God heard me pray through His dear Son and that His blessing rested on you there at Dansville. I feel the sweet presence of God at times when I pray, and feel such an evidence that God has set His love upon you, and although you are afflicted, Jesus is with you, strengthening and supporting you by His all-powerful arm. He that stretched out His hand to save sinking Peter upon the troubled water will save His servant who has labored for souls and devoted his energies to His cause. Yes, James, the eye of the compassionate Saviour is upon you. He is touched with the feelings of your infirmities. He loves you. He pities you as we cannot. He will make you to triumph in His own dear name. Be of good courage, my poor suffering husband, wait patiently a little longer and you shall see of the salvation of God. We know in whom we have believed. We have not run as uncertainly. All will come out just right in the end. 10MR 28.1

God will give us strength and we shall yet be a happy family, rejoicing in God our Deliverer.—Letter 10, 1865, p. 2 (To James White, November 24, 1865) 10MR 28.2

Ellen Misses James's “Manly Arm” During his Illness—Yesterday after I left the cars I rode twelve miles in the stage. The scenery was beautiful. The trees with their varied hues, the beautiful evergreens interspersed among them, the green grass, the high and lofty mountains, the high bluffs of rocks—all are interesting to the eye. These things I could enjoy, but I am alone. The strong, manly arm I have ever leaned upon is not now my support. Tears are my meat night and day. My spirit is constantly bowed down by grief. I cannot consent that your father shall go down into the grave. Oh, that God would pity and heal him! Edson, my dear boy, give yourself to God. Wherein you have erred, frankly acknowledge it by confession and humility. Draw nigh to God and do unite with me in pleading with God for his recovery. If we chasten our souls before God and truly repent of all our wrongs, will He not be entreated, for the sake of His dear Son, to heal your father?—Letter 16, 1866, p. 2. (To Edson White, October 14, 1866.) 10MR 28.3

Edson Urged to Treat His Father Tenderly—Dear Edson, do not on any account move rashly in regard to the letter written by your father. Keep quiet; wait and trust; be faithful; make every concession you can, even if you have done so before; and may God give you a soft and tender heart to your poor, overburdened, worn, harassed father.—Letter 2, 1871, p. 1. (To Edson White, January 30, 1871.) 10MR 29.1

James Preoccupied During His Illness; Ellen Longs for Someone to Lean On—Arose sad and dispirited. My courage is gone. My heart is weighed down with anguish. I can go no farther until I know for a surety the Lord will be my helper, my trust. I did not attend meeting, for I am sick, body and mind. Remained at Brother Olmstead's through the day. 10MR 29.2

I have had a special season of prayer. I have most earnestly committed my case to God, and feel a degree of relief. My spirit finds rest in Jesus. There is not one upon earth upon whom I can lean for encouragement or strength. No one, not even my husband, can have an understanding of my mind. He is a stranger to my trials, my temptations, my conflicts and buffetings. His own case occupies his mind, and I ought not to expect that appreciation of my peculiar position my spirit so earnestly craves. I long to lean upon someone, but God sees perhaps this is not best, and breaks my hold from everyone, that I shall cling to Him alone. I cry unto God for wisdom, grace, and power to control my spirit at all times and offend not in word. My lips shall not sin. I will keep my mouth with a bridle. Wrote my mind to James. Confessed my wrong in speaking and acting sometimes.—Manuscript 13, 1868. (Diary, February 1, 1868.) 10MR 29.3

A Good Hold on Immortal Life Essential to Happiness in This Life—Consider in humility, in fearfulness and with much trembling your present condition. Let your eye run back upon the past. Have you glorified God in your life? ... I would rather be written childless than have my children live and not devote their lives to God, but exert an influence in the wrong direction. Oh, my poor boy, you don't try, half try, to glorify God! Yourself occupies your thought and attention. Unless you trust less in yourself, and by your life seek to honor God, you will not be happy, but will be drifting about without an anchor. If you would become converted, if you would now—while probation lasts—dig deep and lay the foundation sure, you would have a good hold on the better, immortal life; and then you will begin to know what happiness there is in this life.—Letter 15, 1868, pp. 2-3. (To Edson White, June 17, 1868.) 10MR 30.1

No One Can Ransom the Soul of Another—We are sorry you are sick, but hope it will not last long. My greatest fears have been lest death might overtake you, either Edson or Emma, and find that you have not made preparations for a home in heaven among the pure, holy angels. I hope Emma will not be indifferent in regard to these things, if Edson is. All must perfect Christian character for themselves. It is an individual work, an individual responsibility. One cannot give a ransom for the soul of another. Christ has paid the dear price to ransom us. If we have no interest to avail ourselves of the benefits provided at such an immense cost, our retribution will have been justly earned.—Letter 3, 1871. (To Edson and Emma White, February 22, 1871.) 10MR 30.2

Ellen White Healed to Speak—Sabbath I thought I should rest, for my head was discharging bloody matter all the time and felt strangely. I sent word to Brother Smith not to depend on me at all, for I should not go to meeting Sabbath. But he went out in the country to Athens [Michigan]; a new church is raised up there near Sister Kelsey's. I hated to disappoint the people, so I walked down to the meetinghouse, so dizzy I found myself reeling and near falling. I tried to trust in God. I was all of a tremble, but thank the Lord this passed away, and if the Lord ever gave me the message for the people it was that time. I felt more free than I had hitherto done.—Letter 44, 1874. (To James White, July 17, 1874.) 10MR 31.1

Ellen Glad Edson and Emma Are With James—I am glad Edson and Emma are with you. They now have an opportunity to redeem the past and to show, by submitting their judgment and their ideas, that they have reformed. God bless these dear children, and may they be a blessing to you and a great comfort to you. They can be a great help, a great blessing, and in filling the place that they can well fill, God will bless them and be a strength to them. I wish often I could come where you are for a short time.—Letter 47, 1874, p. 2. (To James White, July 23, 1874.) 10MR 31.2

Ellen Confident God Will Lead James White—I expected to meet you here, but I believe God will lead you. I commit all to Him. He knows what is best for us, for His cause, and His people. We wait and hope and pray that God will in His providence open your way and lead you to the position you should take. I know God wants you to live and plan and counsel His people, but not to work and bear unnecessary burdens. 10MR 31.3

Oh, that God would teach us His way and make plain our duty in His cause! In regard to California, I have felt a great desire to be at the camp meeting and have thought I should be there. Someway I could not get rid of this impression. Last Monday night we rode all night in the cars; arrived at Boston about eight o'clock. Lucinda was sick all day.—Letter 51, 1874, p. 2. (To James White, September 10, 1874.) 10MR 32.1

Lucinda Hall Dearer Than Earthly Sisters—We cannot feel at home without you [Lucinda Hall]. You are linked to our souls as part and parcel of us. We have held most earnest seasons of prayer in your behalf and we believe that the Lord has listened to our prayers. I have felt so anxious about you I could not sleep. We love you, and we can appreciate you as no others can but your own people, for we know what you sacrificed—and with what cheerfulness—for the truth's sake. God is acquainted with every sacrifice you have made, and you will certainly be a sharer in the eternal reward given to the true, faithful workers. If we get any reward you will, most surely. My precious Lucinda, you are dearer to me than any earthly sister I have living. May the blessing of God and His peace abide upon you is my most earnest prayer.—Letter 71, 1874, p. 1. (To Lucinda Hall, October 14, 1874.) 10MR 32.2

Ellen White Wants Lucinda Hall as Governess’ Consultant—I did not want you to write or to copy, only it would be a satisfaction to me to read over my matter to you and get your judgment on some points, for I cannot read them to anyone. But this you need not do if it would weary your mind. But if I could have some head in my family, someone whom the children [Addie and May Walling, Ellen White's nieces, who made their home with her.] would feel that they must respect, it would be a great relief to us.... 10MR 32.3

Now Lucinda, this is the last letter of entreaty I shall send you. I don't believe in this pulling, hauling business. If you had much rather, and would be happier and more free from care to remain where you are, we will not do anything like urging and making you unhappy.—Letter 79, 1874, p. 1. (To Lucinda Hall, December 14, 1874.) 10MR 33.1

James White Very Attentive—My husband is very attentive to me, seeking in every way to make my journeyings and labor pleasant and relieve it of weariness. He is very cheerful and of good courage. We must now work and with carefulness preserve our strength, for there are thirteen more camp meetings to attend.—Letter 46, 1875, p. 2. (To Lucinda Hall, June 17, 1875.) 10MR 33.2

Ellen White's Regard for Lucinda Hall—I wish I could see you, Lucinda. It always does me so much good to see you and talk with you. You take so sensible a view of matters all around. How I have missed you on this journey! Not but that I have friends, but you are nearest and dearest, next to my own family, and I feel no difference than that you belonged to me and my blood flowed in your veins. 10MR 33.3

No one can go right ahead as you can and take care from me in regard to my clothing. If you knew what shape I am in sometimes, I guess you would laugh, or cry, I don't know which! I have hardly had a minute's time to see to my things.... It would not cure the evil unless you send me Lucinda as my maid of honor. But I am getting along splendidly after all.—Letter 48, 1875, pp. 2, 3. (To Lucinda Hall, July 14, 1875.) 10MR 33.4

Lucinda Hall an Exception—I sleep alone. This seems to be Mary's preference, as well as mine. I can have a better opportunity for reflection and prayer. I prize my being all to myself unless graced with your presence. I want to share my bed only with you. Lucinda is an exception. She seems to be a part of myself as I can make no other one. Mary is doing well, is devoted to the work. We are doing all we can every day. I fear sometimes I do too much, for I love the work and nothing is of sufficient interest to draw me from the work.... 10MR 33.5

I hope you will not let a thought depress you. Be of good courage. Stay your heart upon God. I am trying to do this daily. As I lay off article after article of precious matter, I feel my heart leap with hope and joy that this long, delayed work will soon be accomplished. Much love to yourself, Sister Mary, and all interested friends.—Letter 6, 1876, pp. 1, 2. (To James White, April 13, 1876.) 10MR 34.1

James White Doing the Work of Three Men—Your father and mother are worked down. I am looking old and poor for the very reason that there is no rest for us. We work hard. Your father does the work of three men at all these meetings. I never saw a man work so energetically, so constantly as your father. God does give him more than mortal energy. If there is any place that is hard, your father takes it. We pray God that we may have strength to do the work necessary to be done in these special occasions.—Letter 39, 1876, pp. 1, 2. (To W. C. White, August 17, 1876.) 10MR 34.2

My Confidential Companion is Gone—I was glad to hear you were having a pleasant journey. All moves well here. I take no more or as much interest in household matters as I have done. We miss Lucinda everywhere. But I must say that Mary [Nineteen-year-old Mary Kelsey married W. C. White on February 11, 1876.] takes her position nobly, she goes ahead like a general and you would think had been used to this kind of labor all her life. But my confidential companion is gone; not one now to counsel with, not one to converse with upon matters that everyone cannot understand, and if they did, could not help me. But I am glad Lucinda has gone with you, for I feel so much better about you; and again it is her right to see her mother and be at home some. But I miss Lucinda just as I thought I should.—Letter 63, 1876, p. 2. (To James White, March 25, 1876.) 10MR 34.3

Ellen White Needs Help with Children—We thank you for your letter. We hope it will be the first of many which we shall hereafter receive. We miss you very much. We are at a loss to know what to do with our children. There is no one to look after them and you know what children are without an eye over them.... I am tired after writing, too much so to be troubled with their chatter and to hear them read or to prepare them work. They are worse now than orphans. I shall try to see if Sister Jones will board them; and then I am afraid they would be ruined with indulgence and playing with Bertie. Addie has no reserve or genuine modesty now. What shall I do? I am trying to get my writings off as fast as possible. I make haste slowly.... 10MR 35.1

I have enjoyed much peace of mind and sweet communion with God the last week. I have not been well; for a week back I overlabored—one week ago last Sabbath and Sunday and in private labor. But I felt such a sweet evidence that God heard me pray for Edson, that it paid me for all my burden and labor. He seems so much better than he did. Willie and he have come together by confession and tears. Lucinda, God helped me to pray and hold on to poor deceived Edson till victory came, light broke in, and Edson surrendered to God. Praise the Lord for His merciful kindness.—Letter 58, 1876, pp. 1, 2. (To Lucinda Hall, April 6, 1876.) 10MR 35.2

James White Feels He Must Be “Hid in Christ”—Again we have had another precious season of prayer and God is moving upon our hearts and leading our minds, teaching us. Father says he will go forward in the name and strength of our dear Saviour. He will go to the camp meetings and will bear his testimony, exalting Jesus and the power of His grace. Oh! what hath the Lord wrought? Father feels now that he must hide behind Christ. He must exalt Jesus and humble himself. He wants to work in a different manner than he has hitherto done, walking in greater humility and working in God continually.—Letter 11, 1877, pp. 2, 3. (To Dear Children, August 31, 1877.) 10MR 36.1

James White Like Himself Again—I had great freedom in speaking one hour. All were deeply attentive. But the best part of the matter was that father went into the stand, sang and prayed like his own self. This is God's doing and His name shall have all the glory.—Letter 16, 1877. (To Edson and Emma White, September 7, 1877.) 10MR 36.2

James White Recovering After Another Stroke—Our camp meeting has ended. We are all at home again. Father endured the camp meeting as well as we could expect. He comes up very slowly—cannot eat enough to sustain strength. We have very precious seasons of prayer in his behalf and our faith is tested but we do not become discouraged. 10MR 36.3

I am now satisfied that he had a stroke of paralysis. He is very quiet, not exacting, patient, tender and kind. The care falls principally upon me. He seems to feel that if I am with him he is at rest. But our faith claims the promises of God for his complete restoration. We believe it will be done. God has a great work for him and me. We shall have strength to perform it. 10MR 36.4

God has sustained me in bearing my double burden at the five camp meetings I have attended. I feel of the best of courage. I have labored exceedingly hard and God has helped me. I now mean to complete my book and then let writing go for the present.—Letter 19, 1877, p. 1. (To Edson and Emma White, September 28, 1877.) 10MR 37.1

Ellen White's Dream About Lucinda Hall—Sister Hall: Last night I had a dream that made quite an impression on my mind. I thought that the young man who has often appeared to me and instructed me came in the room where I was and inquired, “Who is helping you in your work?” I said, “No one.” 10MR 37.2

Said he, “The Lord gave you one to be with you and help you. He gave her wisdom and tact to be your helper. Why was she separated from you?” 10MR 37.3

I tried to think about it and answered, “It was thought best for her to connect with the office upon the Pacific coast.” 10MR 37.4

Said he, “God fitted her to be your helper. Be careful whom you select to connect with you. It is God's work. He has made your hearts one. In her is the help you want. She will not be sustained in the work in which she is now engaged, for it is not the work God has given her to do. God raised her up for you. She should have been with you, her interest and yours one. Draw her to you again. The Lord will impress her heart. She has not the education of schools, but God has given her wisdom to help you in your work. You should be as one heart and one soul. God has bound you together. Let no influence divide you.” 10MR 37.5

I want you to come and see me. I do not want anyone with you, but just our two selves. When shall I send for you? I must have some talk with you before I make any move.—Letter 47, 1877. (To Lucinda Hall, undated, cir. 1877.) 10MR 37.6

Ellen White's Resolve—There is work enough to do, and let us hide in God and seek to obtain purity of heart, meekness, and lowliness of spirit, and to be refined and sanctified, fit for the Master's use here, and the heavenly home of the blest and holy hereafter. I will not live for self. I will not lose sight of the self-denying, self-sacrificing Redeemer. He pleased not Himself. I shall be glad to hear from you any time and will write as often as I can.—Letter 32, 1878, p. 5. (To Edson White, June 24, 1878.) 10MR 38.1

Ellen Dreams of James After His Death—A few days since I was pleading with the Lord for light in regard to my duty. In the night I dreamed I was in the carriage, driving, sitting at the right hand. Father was in the carriage, seated at my left hand. He was very pale, but calm and composed. “Why Father,” I exclaimed, “I am so happy to have you by my side once more! I have felt that half of me was gone. Father, I saw you die; I saw you buried. Has the Lord pitied me and let you come back to me again, and we work together as we used to?” 10MR 38.2

He looked very sad. He said, “The Lord knows what is best for you and for me. My work was very dear to me. We have made a mistake. We have responded to urgent invitations of our brethren to attend important meetings. We had not the heart to refuse. These meetings have worn us both more than we were aware. Our good brethren were gratified, but they did not realize that in these meetings we took upon us greater burdens than at our age we could safely carry. They will never know the result of this long-continued strain upon us. God would have had them bear the burdens we have carried for years. Our nervous energies have been continuously taxed, and then our brethren misjudging our motives and not realizing our burdens have weakened the action of the heart. I have made mistakes, the greatest of which was in allowing my sympathies for the people of God to lead me to take work upon me which others should have borne. 10MR 38.3

“Now, Ellen, calls will be made as they have been, desiring you to attend important meetings, as has been the case in the past. But lay this matter before God and make no response to the most earnest invitations. Your life hangs as it were upon a thread. You must have quiet rest, freedom from all excitement and from all disagreeable cares. We might have done a great deal for years with our pens, on subjects the people need that we have had light upon and can present before them, which others do not have. Thus you can work when your strength returns, as it will, and you can do far more with your pen than with your voice.” 10MR 39.1

He looked at me appealingly and said, “You will not neglect these cautions, will you, Ellen? Our people will never know under what infirmities we have labored to serve them because our lives were interwoven with the progress of the work, but God knows it all. I regret that I have felt so deeply and labored unreasonably in emergencies, regardless of the laws of life and health. The Lord did not require us to carry so heavy burdens and many of our brethren so few. We ought to have gone to the Pacific Coast before, and devoted our time and energies to writing. Will you do this now? Will you, as your strength returns, take your pen and write out these things we have so long anticipated, and make haste slowly? There is important matter which the people need. Make this your first business. You will have to speak some to the people, but shun the responsibilities which have borne us down.” 10MR 39.2

“Well,” said I, “James, you are always to stay with me now and we will work together.” Said he, “I stayed in Battle Creek too long. I ought to have gone to California more than one year ago. But I wanted to help the work and institutions at Battle Creek. I have made a mistake. Your heart is tender. You will be inclined to make the same mistakes I have made. Your life can be of use to the cause of God. Oh, those precious subjects the Lord would have had me bring before the people, precious jewels of light!” 10MR 39.3

I awoke. But this dream seemed so real. Now you can see and understand why I feel no duty to go to Battle Creek for the purpose of shouldering the responsibilities in General Conference. I have no duty to stand in General Conference. The Lord forbids me. That is enough.—Letter 17, 1881, pp. 2-4. (To W. C. White, September 12, 1881.) 10MR 40.1

White Estate

Washington, D. C.,

March 25, 1980.