His Messenger

Chapter 20—Letters to the Boys

“The neat, orderly, and careful boy has an invariable rule, ‘A place for everything and everything in its place.’ Go into his room at any hour, you will find everything in order,” wrote Ellen White to her boys. Although she was away from them a great deal, she tried to train them in the right way. HMes 112.1

“I have just been reading a book entitled, ‘How to Be a Man,’” she wrote. “I will copy a few lines, and you can apply as your case is met. HMes 112.2

“‘He can go in the dark and lay his hands upon anything that he wants,’” her letter continues. “‘He never leaves a thing at random where he happens to be using it, but always puts it where it belongs. When he undresses, every article of his clothing is folded and laid together in the order that it will be wanted in the morning, so that he loses no time in hunting for it. He is equally careful of his person. He never considers himself dressed till he has washed his hands and face, cleaned his teeth, and combed his hair; and he never thinks of sitting down to the table with dirty hands. HMes 112.3

“‘He learns to keep his clothes neat and clean. He never forgets to use the scraper at the door to remove the mud from his feet, and he makes it an invariable rule never to pass a mat without wiping his shoes. He never says, like the sloven, “I didn’t think,” to excuse himself. He would consider it unpardonable in him not to think; for what is the ability of thinking worth, if it never comes when it is wanted? HMes 112.4

“‘And home is a delightful place to him, because he meets with smiles and pleasant words. But the sloven exposes himself to sour looks and chiding, by his dirty habits; and he finds home a disagreeable place, because he makes it so.’ HMes 113.1

“We want you, dear boys, to be patterns of neatness and order. Willie looks to you for example. He has great confidence that you do everything about right. HMes 113.2

“We are absent from you much, and you should feel that a responsibility rests upon you, my dear boys, to strictly guard yourselves from falling into wrong habits and also to save Willie from doing wrong. HMes 113.3

“A noble example for him will do much to influence him to preserve correct habits. We commit you to God, earnestly praying that His angels guard you all three, and incline your hearts to love Him. Your affectionate Mother.” HMes 113.4

From the same book, How to Be a Man, Ellen White had written to her boys a quotation about a person who is careless in his habits. “‘He leaves a thing where he uses it,’” she copied. “‘Hence if he wants anything, he never knows where to look for it, unless he happens to remember when he used it last. He must waste his time in hunting for it. Hence you will often hear him impatiently inquiring if anyone has seen his things, when he ought himself to know where they are.’” HMes 113.5

“Dear children, I do not write merely for your amusement, but for your improvement,” the letter continues. “Learn where you fail, and then commence the work of reform in earnest. You must learn order. Have set hours to work in the garden, set hours to read and improve your minds. Spend no precious moments in bickerings and finding fault with each other. This disturbs your own happiness and pleases the enemy. “Remember the eye of God is ever upon you. Endeavor to please Him in all your acts. Make your peace with Him while you are in health. Your parents have a deep interest in you. Our greatest desire is that you may be subjects of grace. You will never be saved against your will. You must prize salvation, and submit to be saved in the Lord’s appointed way. Humble repentance of sin, and faith in Jesus as your Saviour, will be required on your part, and He is faithful that hath promised. He will accept you, and give you of His salvation. HMes 113.6

“If you deny yourselves in many things, and refrain from sin for a season only, this will not be sufficient. It is a life of obedience that will please God and be acceptable to Him. Delay not to make an entire consecration to God, that your names may be recorded in the Lamb’s book of life. Your affectionate Mother.” HMes 114.1

The two older boys, who at this time were twelve and fourteen years old, missed their parents a great deal. But they too must sacrifice the company of their parents, and sometimes their home, for the cause of God. They learned to be kind, patient, and helpful wherever they stayed. They must also help in the training of their little brother. Their mother and father especially put this trust upon them, to guide and help the younger brother, who was only about seven years old then. HMes 114.2

One time she wrote to Henry, “I hope, dear Henry, that you are a good boy, and are happy doing right. Continue to strive to be faithful in all things. We received your letter, and were much pleased to hear from you. We think you have made improvements in setting type. Be faithful, children, in all things. The Lord will soon come and take the good and holy to Himself. HMes 114.3

“We want you to live among the pure and holy angels in heaven, and wear a crown of gold, and eat of the tree of life. Trust in the Lord at all times. Listen to the voice of conscience. Love God, and you will have His approving smile. What a thought, to have the great God, the Maker of heavens and the earth, to smile upon and love you. Dear children, seek for this, pray for it, live for it.” HMes 114.4

To Willie, her youngest son, she wrote from Iowa: HMes 115.1

“My dear Willie: We have not forgotten you, my dear boy. When we see other little children around, we long to get our little Willie in our arms again, and press his little soft cheek and receive his kiss. In about five weeks we shall be at home again, and then, Willie, we will work in the garden, and tend the flowers and plant the seeds. You must be a good, sweet little boy, and love to obey Jenny and Lucinda. Give up your will, and when you wish to do anything very much, inquire, ‘Is it selfish?’ HMes 115.2

“You must learn to yield your will and your way. It will be a hard lesson for my little boy to learn, but it will in the end be worth more to him than gold. Learn, my dear Willie, to be patient, to wait others’ time and convenience; then you will not get impatient and irritable. The Lord loves those little children who try to do right, and He has promised that they shall be in His kingdom.... HMes 115.3

“Although He is in heaven, and you cannot see Him, yet He loves you when you do right and writes it down in His book; and when you do wrong, He puts a black mark against your name. HMes 115.4

“Now, dear Willie, try to do right always, and then no black mark will be set down against you; and when Jesus comes, He will call for that good boy, Willie White, and will put upon your head a wreath of gold, and put in your hand a little harp that you can play upon, and it will send forth beautiful music, and you will never be sick, never be tempted to do wrong; but will be happy always, and will eat of rich fruit, and will pluck beautiful flowers. Try, try, dear boy, to be good. HMes 115.5

“Your Affectionate Mother.” HMes 116.1

Mrs. White tried to train her children to be good, honest, industrious boys. She also taught them to be kind and thoughtful in all their association with one another. HMes 116.2

When the boys were leaving home in the morning, she would often say to them: “Now, children, you are going out for a day’s work. Remember that you are to guard your tongues. Speak not one word that will provoke a wrong act. If you fail, then when we meet at family worship during the evening hour, we shall talk the matter over and make it right with God. You see, children, kind words never cause you any pain and sorrow. Speak kindly, tenderly, to one another, and see what a refreshing, what a blessing, comes to your own heart.... Be brave, be true.” HMes 116.3

Sometimes during the day one of the children would come to Mrs. White and say, “Mother, someone has done wrong.” Or, “Mother, someone hasn’t treated me right.” Mrs. White would gently reply, “When we come together in the evening, we will talk it over.” HMes 116.4

When evening came, the children would gather together before going to bed and talk over the happenings of the day with their father and mother. There had been time for them to think over any hasty acts, and they were willing to take more of the blame upon themselves. HMes 116.5

“Mother, I have done wrong,” one would say. “I feel that I would like to have you ask the Lord to forgive me. I believe He will.” Then the family would bow in prayer, confessing the sins of the day and praying for forgiveness. Sometimes there were tears in their eyes as they made each wrong right. HMes 116.6

After the record of the day was clear, the boys would lie down to sleep, sure that God had blessed them. HMes 116.7