Living In The Light

April 18, Mated But Not Matched

And the world is passing away, and the lust of it;
but he who does the will of God abides forever.
—1 John 2:17 LL 117.1

Few have correct views of the marriage relation. Many seem to think that it is the attainment of perfect bliss; but if they could know one quarter of the heartaches of men and women that are bound by the marriage vow in chains that they cannot and dare not break, they would not be surprised that I trace these lines. Marriage, in a majority of cases, is a most galling yoke. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse, that lie hidden under the marriage mantle. This is why I would warn the young who are of a marriageable age, to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion. The path of married life may appear beautiful and full of happiness; but why may not you be disappointed as thousands of others have been? LL 117.2

This question of marriage should be a study instead of a matter of impulse. Obedience to the last six commandments requires this. Obedience to the fifth commandment also requires that the young honor the judgment of their parents in the matter. Crimes of every kind may be traced to unwise marriages; then why should ignorant and inexperienced children be allowed to enter the marriage relation blindly? Parents should feel their responsibility to guard the interests of their children, when their own mature judgment teaches them that should they marry unwisely, life-long unhappiness would be the result. . . . LL 117.3

When so much misery results from marriage, why will not the youth be wise? Why will they continue to feel that they do not need the counsel of older and more experienced persons? In business, men and women manifest great caution. Before engaging in any important enterprise, they prepare themselves for their work. Time, money, and much careful study are devoted to the subject, lest they shall make a failure in their undertaking. How much greater caution should be exercised in entering the marriage relation—a relation which affects future generations and the future life? Instead of this, it is often entered upon with jest and levity, impulse and passion, blindness and lack of calm consideration.— Review and Herald, February 2, 1886. LL 117.4

Further Reflection: : What are some of the benefits of seeking the counsel of happily married, older individuals when contemplating marriage? LL 117.5