Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #22 — Toxic Love Patterns

Picture: Counsel #22 — Toxic Love Patterns CR 120.1

Violence and assault in a relationship, whether emotional or physical, are direct violations of trust and safety, damaging the heart and soul in ways God never intended. Emotional abuse may include constant criticism, manipulation, gaslighting, rageful responses, or isolating a partner from family and friends. CR 120.2

For example, if a partner belittles your achievements or uses guilt to control your actions, you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. Physical abuse involves harm or threats of harm, such as hitting, pushing, restraining, or destroying property with the goal of intimidation. For instance, a partner throwing objects during an argument or grabbing your arm forcefully crosses clear boundaries of security and respect. God calls for your relationship to reflect His love, marked by kindness, patience, and peace.¹⁷ If you or someone you know is experiencing any form of abuse, seek help to end the relationship immediately through people you love and trust, support services, or faith-based counseling.¹⁸ God desires safety, love, and dignity for all His children.¹⁹ CR 120.3

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered…” Proverbs 22:24 NIV CR 120.4

“But nothing that defiles can enter heaven, and unless those who cherish this spirit are changed, they can never enter there, for they would criticize the angels.” Ellen White in Our High Calling, p. 234 CR 120.5

Reflect: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? How did you get through that experience? What did you learn from it? CR 120.6