Counsels on Relationships
Counsel #11 — Essence of Empathy
Picture: Counsel #11 — Essence of Empathy CR 13.1
When you’re going through a tough time in life, what’s the first thing you’d want a friend to offer you? In any friendship, an empathetic response is the most acceptable answer. Many people wrongly assume being empathetic is a surface-level response. Wrong! Being empathetic requires a presence of mind to understand and feel someone else’s feelings, even when their experiences differ from your own.4 CR 13.2
Being empathetic is also about listening without judgment and not allowing your opinions to cloud giving effective advice or lessening your level of support. For example, a friend vents to you about their parents getting a divorce. You might empathetically say, “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. That sounds really hard to emotionally digest. What can I do to help?” This is a “picture perfect” empathetic response. Unfortunately, a callous friend without thought may respond in a hurtful way, such as, “Are you really surprised? Your dad’s never home anyway.” This kind of response dismisses a friend’s feelings and goes against God’s desire to be compassionate toward each other. To build meaningful relationships and reflect Jesus’ empathetic essence, ask for His help to be thoughtfully intentional in your words and actions; to look for ways to show empathy to others. CR 13.3
“Finally, everyone must live in harmony, be sympathetic, love each other, have compassion, and be humble.” 1 Peter 3:8 GW CR 13.4
“What we all need is a more pure, Christlike sympathy…” Ellen White in Our High Calling, p. 183 CR 13.5
Reflect: Are you an empathetic friend? CR 13.6