Counsels on Relationships
Counsel #19 — Flawed, Yet Loved
Picture: Counsel #19 — Flawed, Yet Loved CR 117.1
Unrealistic expectations for perfection in a relationship will always lead to disappointment, frustration, and unnecessary strain. No human is perfect; only God holds that title, so expecting a partner to fulfill every emotional need or never make mistakes is not only unfair but also disvalues the beauty of growth and grace in a relationship. CR 117.2
The Bible reminds us in Romans 3:23 that all fall short of God’s glory, which includes ourselves and our partners. Most unrealistic expectations for perfection stem from idealized portrayals of love in movies or social media — what we see on our screens is never what relationships are actually like. When perfection is expected, small flaws become magnified, and gratitude for the relationship diminishes, further hindering open communication and trust. CR 117.3
Though both partners in a dating relationship will have flaws and shortcomings, a Christian relationship should involve two individuals who are actively seeking to grow in their faith and live for God. This doesn't imply a state of sinless perfection, but rather a shared commitment to aligning their lives with God's will and supporting each other on their spiritual journeys.13 CR 117.4
“As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.” 2 Samuel 22:31 NIV CR 117.5
“A noble, all-around character is not inherited… A noble character is earned by individual effort through the merits and grace of Christ.” Ellen White in My Life Today, p. 271 CR 117.6
Reflect: Do you feel pressured to be perfect in your relationship? CR 117.7