Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #13 — Conclude with Grace

Picture: Counsel #13 — Conclude with Grace CR 111.1

Breaking up with someone is never easy, but how it’s handled can make a significant difference in the healing process for both individuals. CR 111.2

One incorrect way to end a relationship is ghosting or suddenly cutting off all communication without a proper explanation. Ending a relationship in this way leaves the other person confused, hurt, and longing for closure. Other unhealthy methods for breaking up include lying, being overly harsh, or breaking up in an impersonal way, such as over text or social media. Breaking up in these ways shows a lack of empathy and clear disregard for the connection you once shared with the other person. Instead, walk away from the relationship with integrity, allowing honesty, respect, and clarity to guide your conversation. Communicate your feelings directly, preferably in person, and offer closure by acknowledging the positive aspects of the relationship. Never end a relationship with the intent to “get back” at the person or “make them hurt.” CR 111.3

If someone ends a relationship with you, remember, your value comes from God, not others. After the relationship ends, lean on God’s promises, seek support from loved ones, and focus on personal growth through self-care and prayer.⁷ CR 111.4

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 NIV CR 111.5

“Yield yourself to Christ without delay; He alone, by the power of His grace, can redeem you from ruin.” Ellen White in Letters to Young Lovers, p. 24 CR 111.6

Reflect: Have you experienced a breakup? CR 111.7