Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #4 — Discipline

Picture: Counsel #4 — Discipline CR 115.1

The formative years (specifically ages 0 — 3) are the most important and impactful years for establishing order, discipline, and connection with your child. Establishing these during this age greatly increases the likelihood of having a well-ordered, peace-filled home in the following years.^[108] Here are some practical suggestions: CR 115.2

Pray for patience and wisdom before disciplining (even a short prayer can calm your spirit!).

Have few rules, but consistently enforce the ones that you do have.

Acknowledge good behavior with genuine praise.

Offer small rewards for positive actions, like stickers or extra playtime.

Set clear, age-appropriate rules and expectations.

Implement logical consequences related to the misbehavior (e.g., if they hit someone, they lose playtime).

For infants and toddlers, offer a new activity or toy to divert attention from unwanted behavior.

Be calm—don’t discipline in passion or anger.

Don’t shout at your children or scold them.

Keep time-outs short.

Lead by example: Children learn by watching you. Demonstrate the behavior you expect.

Refrain from using emotional manipulation or threats.

Mom and Dad should present a united front.

“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” Proverbs 29:17 NIV CR 115.3

“There should always be a fixed principle with Christian parents to be united in the government of their children. There is a fault in this respect with some parents—a lack of union.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 314 CR 115.4

Reflect: How do you maintain patience and composure during challenging disciplinary situations? CR 115.5