Counsels on Relationships
Counsel #9 — Balance in Love
Picture: Counsel #9 — Balance in Love CR 107.1
For any dating or marriage relationship to thrive, there must be a balance that reflects mutual respect and compassion. God’s design for healthy love relationships, unlike society’s thwarted perspective, is for them to be built on selflessness, where each partner seeks to meet the other’s needs while also being open to receiving love and care. CR 107.2
Society often projects that successful relationships revolve around sexual pleasure and material gifts — but this is not God’s blueprint. A God-centered relationship should emulate reciprocity, mirroring Christ’s sacrificial love for us and emphasizing the importance of serving one another with humility and grace. For example, one married partner might take on extra responsibilities during a stressful period in the other’s life, such as doing the dishes or paying more of the bills one month. This act of giving creates space for the other partner to recharge and reciprocate when the time comes. Contrary to what many believe, relationships require a daily, moment-by-moment sacrifice of what you want to consider your partner’s needs. By seeking God’s wisdom, you’ll be able to maintain a balance that honors Christ and strengthens your relationship.2 CR 107.3
“Wives, be willing to serve your husbands. This is the right thing to do in following the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be gentle to them.” Colossians 3:18, 19 CR 107.4
“To love as Christ loved means to manifest unselfishness at all times and in all places, by kind words and pleasant looks.” Ellen White in Letters to Young Lovers , p. 10 CR 107.5
Reflect: Is your relationship based on selflessness or selfishness? CR 107.6