Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #3 — Avoid Threats Of Divorce

Picture: Counsel #3 — AVOID ThreatS oF Divorce CR 90.1

When you are in the throes of a heated disagreement, avoid threats of divorce. Some partners regularly threaten divorce every time their spouse annoys or angers them.^[85] Instead, give each other some time and space, then come back to the issue and discuss it without anger or threats. Anger is destructive to communication and therefore to relationships! Your spouse will remember every angry word you hurled at them long after the argument is over.  CR 90.2

“Do you see someone who is hasty in speech? There is more hope for a fool than for anyone like that.” Proverbs 29:20 NRSV CR 90.3

“Do you like to have harsh words spoken to you? Remember that when you speak such words others feel the sting. Let your praiseworthy example, your peaceable words and unselfish deeds, be a savor of life unto life…. CR 90.4

Pleasant, cheery words cost no more than unpleasant, moody words. Sharp words wound and bruise the soul. In this life everyone has difficulties with which to wrestle. Everyone meets with grievances and disappointments. Shall we not bring sunshine instead of gloom into the lives of those with whom we come in contact?” Ellen White in The Voice in Speech and Song, p. 64 CR 90.5

Reflect: When you are rushed, annoyed, or challenged, are you tempted to use harsh words? What techniques could you consistently use to choose kind words to communicate with your spouse when angry or under pressure? CR 90.6