Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #17 — Break the Silence

Picture: Counsel #17 — Break the Silence CR 85.1

Have you ever had a family argument where harsh words were exchanged? Instead of talking it through, perhaps someone stormed off or refused to speak to you for days? Or, has there been a time when your home felt tense, with each person avoiding the other? CR 85.2

While the “silent treatment” may seem like a way to protect yourself or be used to punish another person, doing this only deepens the hurt and leaves issues unresolved. Christian communication calls us to handle conflict as Christ did. Instead of shutting down, we are encouraged to speak honestly and work toward compromise. Although ignoring someone may seem easier, the silent treatment creates walls and denies God access to your situation. Sure, there may be times when stepping away to cool down for a short time is necessary, but it should always be followed by an open conversation where emotions are expressed calmly. True healing happens when we choose communication over silence, creating stronger and more loving relationships.¹⁰ CR 85.3

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Matthew 18:15 NIV CR 85.4

“He who is a Christian will have kind words for his relatives and associates.” Ellen White in Sons and Daughters of God, p. 255 CR 85.5

Reflect: What emotions trigger you to give someone the “silent treatment”? In moments of conflict, how can you choose to engage rather than withdraw or shut down? CR 85.6