Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #14 — Boundary Line

Picture: Counsel #14 — Boundary Line CR 277.1

When you’re in a relationship, especially if you’re in a committed marriage, there will be moments where you disagree. Having a difference of opinion is not only inevitable in any relationship, but it’s also completely normal. How those differences are handled and communicated is what matters the most.^[294] CR 277.2

Of course, you should never marry someone who doesn’t agree with you on the essentials, such as values, how to handle finances, family matters, or even faith. On the other hand, if you’re content in your marriage, it’s important to maintain healthy boundaries to keep it that way. Unfortunately, there are many marriages where one partner manipulates or forces the other to do something they’re not comfortable with. Compromise should be mutually exclusive, not a gas lighting tactic to push someone past their convictions. Boundaries don’t mean you don’t care. They mean you care enough about yourself and your relationship with God not to compromise your identity. Real love honors and respects each other’s limits, so if your love doesn’t reflect this, it’s time to seek God for clarity and make some hard, yet necessary decisions. CR 277.3

“You set a boundary they cannot cross; never again will they cover the earth.” Psalms 104:9 NIV CR 277.4

“There are limits even to the forbearance of God, and many are exceeding these boundaries.” Ellen White in Testimony Treasure, vol. 2, p. 62 CR 277.5

Reflect: Does your partner respect your boundaries, or make you feel bad for setting them? CR 277.6