Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #12 — Unilateral Decisions

Picture: Counsel #12 — Unilateral Decisions CR 275.1

One of the most overlooked yet important components of any relationship is effort. It’s no fun to be with someone who never puts any energy into the marriage — after all, every marriage is hard work. Sure, most movies and Hollywood relationships portray marriage as a simple fix to loneliness, that is, until someone gets “bored” in the relationship and ends up committing adultery against the other. In reality, God-centered marriages are all about partnership and sacrifice. CR 275.2

For example, if you always go along with what your partner wants no matter what, your feelings aren’t really being considered. More importantly, you’re being silenced. Real love makes space for both voices to be heard, so in a healthy relationship, sometimes one person makes the decision, and sometimes the other. You compromise, you talk, and you respect each other’s opinions, especially when you don’t agree. If one person is constantly in charge while the other fades into the background, that’s not representative of a godly union. Always remember that God created us for mutual support, not silent surrender.^[292] CR 275.3

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21 NIV CR 275.4

“Both husband and wife should be willing to yield his or her way or opinion. There is no possibility of happiness while they both persist in doing as they please.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 118 CR 275.5

Reflect: Do both of you have a voice in mutual decisions, or just one of you? CR 275.6