Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #10 — Controlled

Picture: Counsel #10 — Controlled CR 273.1

Regardless of what culture says, love is not supposed to hurt — not even a little. If your marriage is full of yelling, manipulation, jealousy, physical abuse, or control, it’s time to face the facts: you’re in a toxic relationship. The Bible teaches us that love is patient, kind, and not easily angered, so if you don’t see this reflected in your current partnership, there’s a problem. CR 273.2

In every controlling relationship, the aggressor-partner usually takes advantage of the lack of self-esteem or self-worth in the other person. If there is no internal belief that God created you in His image, and you lack confidence in your abilities, it’s a lot easier for someone to control you. Unfortunately, there are many women and men that deal with this. But God wants His children to be safe, emotionally and physically. At no point should you feel like you have to shrink, walk on eggshells, or keep secrets about abusive behavior that’s happening behind closed doors. You are worth more than precious jewels, and deserve a love that protects, uplifts, and honors who God created you to be.^[290] CR 273.3

“Love is patient, love is kind…it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV CR 273.4

“Neither the husband nor the wife should attempt to exercise over the other an arbitrary control.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 118 CR 273.5

Reflect: Is your relationship safe and peace-filled? CR 273.6