Counsels on Relationships
Counsel #24 — A Gentle Resolve
Picture: Counsel #24 — A Gentle Resolve CR 26.1
When someone takes credit for your work, gossips about you, or breaks your trust, it can feel like a punch to the gut. It’s tempting to either lash out or stay silent, hoping the problem will just go away. But avoiding the issue often leads to bottled-up frustration that builds over time. CR 26.2
Instead of ignoring the hurt or reacting in anger, it’s better to address it with honesty and calmness. Using “I” statements to express how you feel is the best way to get your point across without escalating the situation. Saying, “Hey, I noticed when we presented the project, you said all the ideas were yours. It’d mean a lot to me if my efforts could be acknowledged too,” is a lot better than saying, “Why would you lie and say you did all the work? You don’t value anything I did!” The second response is usually how most people would react, but taking a step back, praying for wisdom, and thinking through your words will help you respond in a way that brings resolution rather than more conflict.17 CR 26.3
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 NIV CR 26.4
“You are to represent Christ in His meekness and gentleness and love.” Ellen White in Testimonies for the Church , vol. 6, p. 120 CR 26.5
Reflect: How can you address difficult situations with calmness instead of with anger or accusations? CR 26.6