Counsels on Relationships
Counsel #20 — Break the Ice
Picture: Counsel #20 — Break the Ice CR 22.1
Depending on your personality type, you may find it extremely uncomfortable to reach out to someone first for friendship. For all the extroverts out there, doing this is quite easy — it’s a part of who you are to seek out social opportunities. But for those who are introverts, it may be that the fear of rejection or being misunderstood overpowers the desire for inclusion. CR 22.2
The best way to overcome this fear is to alter your mindset, embracing the perspective of “What do I have to lose if they don’t want to be my friend,” instead of thinking “I’m a loser because they don’t want to be my friend.” Realizing that we can’t control people, or their responses is a great way to look at all social situations. Not every interaction will result in a lifelong friendship, and it’s not required. What matters most is your willingness to step out of your comfort zone and attempt to find friendship with someone who shares your beliefs, values, and likes. Always seek God for guidance on this, as He’s the only one who truly knows the heart posture of every person.13 CR 22.3
“Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:4 NIV CR 22.4
“Christian friends are not half as plentiful as they should be.” Ellen White in Sons and Daughters of God, p. 161 CR 22.5
Reflect: If you’re an introvert, what’s holding you back from reaching out and making friends? CR 22.6