Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #19 — Red-Flags

Picture: Counsel #19 — Red-Flags CR 166.1

Even if you’ve never been in this situation, try to visualize a situation where you bring your boyfriend or girlfriend to a family gathering. Your mom is polite, but later, your best friend says something felt off. One by one, the people who know you best start expressing concern about your significant other, not because they don’t want you to be happy, but because they see something you might be too close to notice. CR 166.2

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to focus on how you feel and ignore the quiet red flags others see, but God often uses trusted people to give wisdom and perspective. A relationship that Christ brings into your life won’t cause those closest to you to feel anxiety, fear, or tension about your well-being or safety. Although you may feel initially offended if your loved ones disapprove of your partner, don’t ignore when the people who love you feel uneasy. God often uses others to reach you, speaking through those who love you most. A love that’s truly from God will stand in the light and be affirmed by those who walk in it, too.^[173] CR 166.3

“For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers.” Proverbs 11:14 NIV CR 166.4

“Men and women can reach God’s ideal for them if they will take Christ as their helper.” Ellen White in Letters to Young Lovers , p. 16 CR 166.5

Reflect: Have your family, friends, or mentors expressed concerns about your relationship? CR 166.6