Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #17 — Christian Character

Picture: Counsel #17 — Christian Character CR 164.1

When you’re in love, it’s easy to focus on how someone treats you. From a relational standpoint, that does matter, but if you really want to know the depth of someone’s character, pay close attention to how they treat other people, especially those who can’t offer them anything in return. CR 164.2

Your true love will be self-sacrificing and thoughtful to everyone they encounter, not just towards you or other people they care about. When considering their character traits, focus on specific things like how they speak to their parents and siblings, or how they interact with children. How do they respond to the elderly or someone with some type of disability? Do they show patience and respect? Or do they exemplify severe agitation or feelings of being inconvenienced? Showing kindness without an audience is what truly matters to God, not seeking status or recognition from the public. The one who loves well behind the scenes is the one who will also love you well when no one’s watching. Don’t be fooled by charm! Look for consistent compassion. That’s the kind of love that lasts.^[171] CR 164.3

“Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:4 NIV CR 164.4

“Let the law of kindness be upon your lips and the oil of grace in your heart.” Ellen White in God’s Amazing Grace, p. 299 CR 164.5

Reflect: Can you see Christ-like love in your partner? CR 164.6