Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #13 — Blame Castor

Picture: Counsel #13 — Blame Castor CR 160.1

Let’s be real - relationships are hard! Especially as a young person coming into your own, or someone entering the dating scene for the first time. Although difficult, one thing a Christian partner won’t ever do is constantly blame others, or you, for everything that goes wrong. If someone refuses to take responsibility for their choices, always plays the victim, or twists the truth to make you question your own emotions, that’s not love. That’s called gaslighting.^[167] CR 160.2

A healthy, Christ-centered relationship is built on honesty and accountability. Everyone messes up — we’re only human, but a godly partner will own their mistakes and grow from them. They won’t manipulate, deflect, or make you feel like you’re “too sensitive” when you express your feelings. Galatians 6:5 says, “Each one should carry their own load,” meaning a partner walking with Christ won’t dump emotional baggage on you or make you feel crazy for setting boundaries. Even if everything seems to line up from the outside looking in, don’t ignore the red flags just because someone calls themselves a Christian. A true follower of Jesus won’t damage your spirit in the name of “just being honest.” Instead, they’ll cherish you for the treasure that you are, moment-by-moment, and day-by-day. CR 160.3

“For each one should carry their own load.” Galatians 6:5 NIV CR 160.4

“But the people of God will not be misled.” Ellen White in Darkness Before Dawn, p. 42 CR 160.5

Reflect: Does your partner take responsibility for their actions? CR 160.6