Manuscript Releases, vol. 20 [Nos. 1420-1500]

MR No. 1450—Help of C. C. Crisler Needed; Ellen White Exhausted and Heavily Burdened; Counsel Regarding “Irregular Lines”

(Written June 24 and 30, 1901, at St. Helena, California, to Elder A. G. Daniells.)

I was made sorry by your request that Brother [Crisler] remain with you until we go to the Eastern camp meetings. All that it is my duty to say on this subject I said to you when I was with you. I have no more to say, except that you understand all about the matter and know what my expectations were when I left Battle Creek. 20MR 140.1

I have been absent from home for nearly four months, and have worked beyond my strength. My workers have been scattered, and Willie and I have given our undivided attention to the general work. Now we are trying to gather our forces. Sister Peck will be home this week, I hope. I shall be glad when we are once more in working order. Attending so many meetings has made a deep impression on me, and has revived many things in my mind. I have decided that the members of our churches need the matter I have for them. 20MR 140.2

I shall not attend the camp meetings in the East. I do not consider this in any sense to be my duty. Should I attend these meetings we should no sooner get settled here than we should have to break up and scatter again. If the Lord said, “Go,” I would not hesitate a moment. But I have to regard my writings in a different light from that which I have done in the past, in relation to traveling and speaking. My duty is to get out my books, and those who help me must be carefully selected. My work demands the very best workers, workers who will not cause me any anxiety. You can get workers more easily than I, though they might not suit you quite as well as some you might choose. 20MR 140.3

The matter I have cannot be entrusted to anyone who may happen to be a good typewriter. The one who connects with me in my work must be a person who loves and fears God, and who will exert a good influence. I cannot accept those who are not qualified for the place. 20MR 140.4

The work in which I am engaged needs just such a worker as Brother Crisler, and he told me that for some time he had felt a burden to connect with me in my work. Brother Irwin knew my perplexity and distress for want of help, but never mentioned the fact that the one working for him was the one I needed. I think this was wrong. 20MR 140.5

Maggie has all she can do in supplying the papers with articles and in copying my letters. There is much more besides this to be done, but at present she is the only copyist I have. 20MR 140.6

In the past I have asked the Lord to send me the one He would choose to help us in the important work we are doing. I have prayed him to send me one who would not be a continual burden and perplexity to me. When Brother Crisler told me that he had been impressed that he should connect with me, I was greatly relieved, for I knew that the Lord had answered my prayer. I wrote to Brother Crisler some weeks ago and told him that I expected to meet him at the Oakland camp meeting. But I have received no response to my letter. I know not what more I can do. 20MR 141.1

It would be wrong of me to leave home to make another trip to take up the taxing labor of attending camp meetings. During the last four months I have worked to the extent of my power, and I would not dare to venture on another campaign unless the Lord said, “Go.” The light I have is that W. C. White and I shall devote our time and best energies to placing before the people the light God has given me. My writings must be gotten out as fast as possible. W. C. W. must remain with me, and we must labor earnestly to get the light before the people. This work must no longer be interrupted. 20MR 141.2

Since I have come to America there have constantly been perplexing burdens on my soul. During my recent journey, I have always, sick or well, been at my post of duty. I must now change the program and devote my strength to preparing matter for publication. If the Lord will spare my life and give me strength and His Holy Spirit, I will do my best to place before the people the light He has given me. 20MR 141.3

You must understand that with my heart difficulty it is very hard for me to travel on the cars amid the heat and confusion. During the last few weeks I have taxed myself too much. I see that it was not right for me to attempt to do so much. It is not wise; it is not reasonable. 20MR 141.4

When attending camp meeting I never ask myself whether I am sick or well. I must stand at my post. I cannot throw off the responsibility. And when I stand before the people, the wants of the cause come up before me and I am forced to relieve my soul of its burden. I feel as though called up before the bar of God to answer for the souls before me. The scenes of the judgment, when every case will be decided, urge themselves upon my mind. 20MR 141.5

I dare not place myself where I see so many who are unready to cooperate with God in the sacred, holy work for this time, who are in no way fitted for the position of trust which they occupy. Standing before a congregation, I see face after face of those whom I know will be lost unless they change square about. And then my soul is in distress as to how I can best reach them. I go from the meeting with my heart so burdened that I cannot close my eyes in sleep. I entreat the Lord to help the men in responsible positions to reason from cause to effect. I see beneath the surface the intents and purposes that will lead to certain results. They see not, and I keep silent, for fear lest the changes that would be made should I speak would have results which would not advance but retard the work of God. 20MR 141.6

Men devise and plan, but the result of their devising and planning is not always favorable to the advancement of the truth. I know them to be wrong, but feel compelled to keep silence, begging the Lord to open blind eyes. Oh, how burdened I am! My soul at times wrestles in silent agony, and I realize that I cannot bear this continual strain without endangering my life. I must not be presumptuous. 20MR 142.1

I do not think it is right for me to place myself in a position where I will feel this burden. I feel such a terrible sense of responsibility. It is as though it would be the last effort I would ever make; and sometimes I think that it will be. 20MR 142.2

I must now keep away from congregations as much as possible. If I could spend some months in a retired spot where I would not see the faces of so many who need reforming, my mind would be at peace and rest. I would be better able to present the dangers and perils threatening those in responsible positions. 20MR 142.3

When your letter and Elder Kilgore's, regarding the work in Nashville, were read to me, a great burden came upon me, and for a time I thought that my reason would give way. I was so weary, having just come from the Portland camp meeting and having labored very hard while there, that I was in no condition to have such matters brought before me. It takes so long for our leading brethren to read beneath the surface that I feared that perhaps I had said something which would have been better deferred in regard to the publishing work in Nashville being conducted as separate and independent from the work in Battle Creek. So often the same old difficulties arise and are presented in regard to disturbing the “regular lines.” But God will work in some way to make His people understand that the regular lines have become full of irregular practices. [The phrase “regular lines” referred to the publishing work at Battle Creek. The “irregular practices” included the exercise of kingly authority (PM 132), the printing of “The Soul-Destroying Theories of Romanism” (Testimonies for the Church 8:92), and a variety of other improprieties. (See The Publishing Ministry, 127-178.) Meanwhile, in 1894, Ellen White's son, Edson, had begun a privately supported ministry for the blacks in Mississippi and Tennessee. Edson's sacrificial publishing ventures in the South, while independent of the “regular lines,” received Ellen White's strong sympathy and support.] 20MR 142.4

How many more years will it be before our brethren receive the clear, keen perception which calls evil evil, and good good? When will men cease to depend upon the same routine which has left so much work undone, so many fields unworked? Is not the present presentation enough to make men see that a revival is necessary and a reformation essential? If not, it is useless for me to repeat the same things over and over again. 20MR 143.1

I want my brethren to begin to understand some things for themselves. God alone, by the quickening, vivifying influence of His Holy Spirit, can enable men to distinguish between the sacred and the common. God alone can make men understand that working on regular lines has led to irregular practices. God alone can make men's minds as they should be. The time has come when we should hear less in favor of the regular lines. If we can get away from the regular lines into something which, though irregular, is after God's order, it may cut away something of the irregular working which has led away from Bible principles. 20MR 143.2

God's principles are the only safe principles for us to follow. Phariseeism was filled with regular lines, but so perverted were the principles of justice that God declared, “Judgment is turned away backward, and justice standeth afar off: for truth is fallen in the street, and equity cannot enter. Yea, truth faileth; and he that departeth from evil maketh himself a prey” (Isaiah 59:14, 15). How true these words have proved. 20MR 143.3

It is God who gives men wisdom by which to tell truth from a lie. Those under His guidance almost instinctively separate the good from the evil. God is trying to bring the backsliders in prominent places back to their senses. He corrects the evils to which men who ought to know better, who have heard His warnings and reproofs, have held fast as if evil were a choice commodity of which not one grain must be lost. 20MR 143.4

It is as hard today to break away from the regular lines as it was in Christ's day. We have had great light. Let us not become narrow. Let us break the bonds which bind us. Christ is the source of all true growth, the maintainer of all life. By His Holy Spirit He communicates heavenly principles and furnishes spiritual life. 20MR 143.5

June 30—Friday afternoon, June 28, I became quite sick. While on the Oakland campground I contracted a cold, which was quite trying, resulting in bowel difficulty. The heat for the last few days has been very severe. A hot wave has been passing over the country. I felt it on Thursday, but on Friday I was busy getting off matter that would not admit of delay. I was seized with bloody flux, but I worked on to complete the matter which I thought must go. My head felt like a furnace, and about the middle of the afternoon I was very sick. In the evening Dr. Anderson came to see me. He said that my fever was running high, and gave me special direction not to read or write. My temperature was up to one hundred, and my heart pained me greatly. I seemed to be in for a hard time. 20MR 143.6

On Sabbath my room was kept cool by placing wet towels over the screens in the windows, and I slept the greater part of the day. I perspired freely, and my fever was broken up. 20MR 144.1

This morning I had an interview with A. T. Jones. He is much improved in health. During the Oakland meeting his face was red and almost purple, but he now looks much better. He is a man who must not be confined to mental work, with no exercise of his physical powers. 20MR 144.2

I am better today, but still weak and suffering. I fear that it was not wise of me to attend the meetings held the week after the camp closed. They were very taxing, but the Lord sustained me and brought me home in safety. How long I shall be in this feeble state I cannot tell. I seem to have inward fever, with stricture across the lungs and a pain in the heart. The weather today is quite warm, but not as hot as on Friday. 20MR 144.3

I wish to say to the General Conference officers that for 1901 I must have my usual wages, eighteen dollars a week. Very little money is coming to me from my books. I have used up machine after machine in making copies of testimonies, and then new ones have to be purchased. This is done at my expense. I think now that the Conference should place my wages as they used to be. 20MR 144.4

And I wish to say also that I hope you will send Brother Crisler as soon as you can. I feel that any one of these attacks may end my life. And as the Lord has impressed Brother Crisler to help me, I feel that God's hand is in it. Since coming to America I have not been able to find anyone in whose hands I could place my work. 20MR 144.5

If the Lord will raise me up, I am now ready to take up my work again. There is abundant matter for my workers to begin upon. I have articles written regarding our sanitariums which should be copied, but only having Maggie to depend upon, I have only been able to get the most important matter copied.—Letter 65, 1901. 20MR 144.6

Ellen G. White Estate

Washington, D. C.,

May 11, 1989.

Entire Letter.