Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 6 (1889-1890)

Lt 56, 1890

White, Mary

Battle Creek, Michigan

February 12, 1890

Portions of this letter are published in 2SM 248.

Dear Mary:

Sick and weak and lonely, I think of you in this light and it seems to me I cannot have Willie remain at all longer. Oh, Mary, Mary, you have the best and most loving, compassionate Being, even the Sun of Righteousness to shine upon you. Look up, look up. I feel that the rest in the grave would not be so bad a thing for me. I am so tired, so discouraged as I see so much self and so much of Satan’s spirit and work. Then I look to Jesus and I find peace only in Jesus. 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 1

Today we saw Rheba. Willie and I went up after dinner. Willie went up early this morning. She does not look very badly, but her eyes, to me, tell the worst story that I can hear. In looking in them, I read no hope. I have seen so much of these things I can tell, pretty surely. She will not be one that will suffer much, but oh, if the Lord sees it is best and she sleeps through the time of trouble, it is well with her soul. She has no little ones like yourself. Oh, my faith says, I cannot give her up. Lord, save, Lord save, but then the Lord knows what is best and I will not feel so deeply over anything. 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 2

I lay you by faith on the bosom of Jesus Christ. He loves you. I know that you are not standing afar off from Christ, but you do draw nigh with full assurance of faith in lowly dependence upon the blood and righteousness of Christ. You accept salvation as the gift of His grace, believing the promise because He has spoken it. Look to Jesus, this is my only comfort and hope. The Lord has been leading you along a path of painful humiliation. You have been emptied from vessel to vessel. You have been led by Him, step by step, deeper and still deeper into the valley, but only to bring you into close communion with Jesus in His life of humiliation. 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 3

Is there a step, my dear beloved child, that Jesus has not trodden with you? Is there one pang of distress that He does not feel? Is there one sin that He has not carried, a cross He has not borne, a sorrow that He has not sympathized with? He is touched with all the feeling of our infirmities. You are knowing what it is to fellowship with the sufferings of Christ. You are a partaker with Christ of His sufferings. You brave self-denying child, God knows it all. He passes to you a cup into which He pours a drop of His own sufferings. He places the light end of the cross on your shoulders; He throws a shadow on your soul, but the glory of the Sun of Righteousness ... [sentence incomplete]. 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 4

Feb. 15

One matter after another was crowded in upon me and nearly drove me wild. I had to leave this letter. Rheba, the next day after she came, although it rained all day, felt real well and rested. Emma visited her and I called upon her. We visited her, Willie and I, the next day. Sabbath was a beautiful day and Willie took her out for one hour in the wheel chair. She took dinner with us. We intend to have her down as often as possible. 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 5

Oh, I wish you were here. My Mary, my dear, dear afflicted Mary. We do not cease to pray for you and we know the Lord loves you and blesses you, but we do want you right in our midst. We want to comfort you and bring all the sunshine into your life that is possible. 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 6

I wish the dear little ones were with me here or we could be all together as we were in the house of mine and yours, or in my home all altogether. 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 7

Well, well, I am trusting in the Lord with all my heart and, at times, full of sadness and grief, but Jesus lives. My own precious child, I love you and want to be with you, and these workers and these half-finished books keep me tied here. My workers can do nothing if I leave and the books must be printed. Trust yourself in the hands of Jesus. Do not worry. Do not think God has forgotten to be gracious. Jesus lives and will not leave you. May the Lord be your staff, your support, your front guard, your rereward, is the prayer of 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 8

Mother.

P. S. Willie means to leave here Friday, spend Sabbath in Chicago, then go on fast as the cars will carry him to you, dear Mary. 6LtMs, Lt 56, 1890, par. 9