Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 18 (1903)

Lt 37, 1903

Haskell, Brother and Sister [S. N.]

“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, California

February 28, 1903

Portions of this letter are published in PM 172-173; 5Bio 225. +^Note

Dear Brother and Sister Haskell,—

We have had no letter from you for some time. We should be pleased to receive a letter, if you are able to write to us. We have often prayed for you and at times have felt anxious in regard to your whereabouts. I do not know where to direct this letter so will send it in care of the Pacific Press office in New York City. 18LtMs, Lt 37, 1903, par. 1

My eyes have been troubling me so severely that for some time past I have not been able to use them. I can write a little now, but am unable to tax my eyesight much yet. Will you not unite with me in asking the Lord to heal me? I am praying for the Lord to speak the word, saying, “Be healed of thine infirmities.” 18LtMs, Lt 37, 1903, par. 2

Since the last General Conference held in Battle Creek, I have carried a very heavy burden, because I have keenly realized the great lack in the publishing plant there. For weeks I did not sleep past twelve o’clock. This was before the plant was burned. Light was given me that the spiritual blindness manifested by those connected with this institution was caused by their neglect to do a thorough work of confession and repentance, with contrition of soul seeking the Lord most earnestly. I was instructed that there was so manifest a disregard of the word of God, given in the Testimonies of His Holy Spirit, that the Lord would turn and overturn, visiting Battle Creek with His judgments. 18LtMs, Lt 37, 1903, par. 3

While at Los Angeles last September, it was presented to me that in our institutions there were many things that needed to be reformed. The truth was not exalted. The name of the Lord was not honored by those who, professedly, were doing His service; and therefore He could not honor the names of these unfaithful stewards. Many were defiled by unfair dealing. I carried this burden until I was unable to obtain sleep after twelve o’clock; yet I kept writing, tracing these matters on paper during the early morning hours and all through the day, as I was moved by the Spirit of God to make a record of many things that I may have to use. 18LtMs, Lt 37, 1903, par. 4

I have received very long letters from Dr. Kellogg and from my nephew Frank Belden; but I dare not read these letters, lest in them there might be some things that would sadden my heart. Anything that causes me to feel sad is a great injury to me physically. My head becomes hot, as if it were a heated furnace, and my nose bleeds. Then for a time all work has to cease. 18LtMs, Lt 37, 1903, par. 5

I am recovering somewhat, slowly regaining strength. After the news came that the office of publication was burned, relief came to my mind. All through the fall council meeting held in Battle Creek, I was trying to warn the brethren. I wrote day and night. In the visions of the night it was represented to me that a sword of fire was drawn over Battle Creek; and in the daytime, while my pen was in my hand, I lost consciousness, and it seemed as if this sword of flame were turning first in one direction and then in another. Disaster seemed to follow disaster, because God was dishonored in the devising of men to exalt and glorify themselves. 18LtMs, Lt 37, 1903, par. 6

But I must not write any more. The condition of my head forbids it. Please write to me; for I cannot write much. We expect you to attend the General Conference. We shall be glad, so glad, to see you. 18LtMs, Lt 37, 1903, par. 7

In love. 18LtMs, Lt 37, 1903, par. 8