Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students

When and How to Punish

The mother may ask, “Shall I never punish my child?” Whipping may be necessary when other resorts fail; yet she should not use the rod if it is possible to avoid doing so. But if milder measures prove insufficient, punishment that will bring the child to its senses should in love be administered. Frequently one such correction will be enough for a lifetime, to show the child that he does not hold the lines of control. CT 116.3

And when this step becomes necessary, the child should be seriously impressed with the thought that this is not done for the gratification of the parent, or to indulge arbitrary authority, but for the child's own good. He should be taught that every fault uncorrected will bring unhappiness to himself, and will displease God. Under such discipline children will find their greatest happiness in submitting their wills to the will of their heavenly Father. CT 117.1

Often we do more to provoke than to win. I have seen a mother snatch from the hand of her child something that was giving it special pleasure. The child did not know the reason of this, and naturally felt abused. Then followed a quarrel between parent and child, and a sharp chastisement ended the scene as far as outward appearance was concerned; but that battle left an impression on the tender mind that would not be easily effaced. This mother acted unwisely. She did not reason from cause to effect. Her harsh, injudicious action stirred the worst passions in the heart of her child, and on every similar occasion these passions would be aroused and strengthened. CT 117.2

Think you that God takes no cognizance of the way such children are corrected? He knows, and He also knows what might be the blessed results if the work of correction were done in a way to win rather than to repel. CT 117.3

Never correct your child in anger. An exhibition of passion on your part will not cure your child's evil temper. That is the time of all times when you should act with humility and patience and prayer. Then is the time to kneel down with the children and ask the Lord for pardon. Before you cause your child physical pain, you will, if you are a Christian father or mother, reveal the love you have for your erring little one. As you bow before God with your child you will present before the sympathizing Redeemer His own words, “Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” Mark 10:14. That prayer will bring angels to your side. Your child will not forget these experiences, and the blessing of God will rest upon such instruction, leading him to Christ. CT 117.4

When children realize that their parents are trying to help them, they will bend their energies in the right direction. And to the children who have right instruction in the home, the advantages of our schools will be greater than to those who are allowed to grow up without spiritual help at home. CT 118.1

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Children who have not experienced the cleansing power of Jesus are the lawful prey of the enemy, and the evil angels have easy access to them. Some parents are careless and suffer their children to grow up with but little restraint. Parents have a great work to do in the matter of correcting and training their children, and in bringing them to God and claiming His blessing upon them. By the faithful and untiring efforts of the parents, and the blessing and grace bestowed upon the children in response to the prayers of the parents, the power of the evil angels may be broken and a sanctifying influence shed upon the children. Thus the powers of darkness will be driven back. CT 118.2