Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 10 (1895)

Lt 106, 1895

Kellogg, J. H.

Norfolk Villa, Granville, N. S. W., Australia

December 20, 1895

Portions of this letter are published in FBS 59-62.

Dear Brother:

I send you copies of letter written to Fannie Bolton. I have withheld them because I do not desire to make her case public. But I have had the most serious difficulty with her at last camp meeting. I am now left without anyone to prepare articles for papers or prepare books. I have felt I had little enough help, but when I was compelled to cut loose from Fannie, it was a sore trial to me. I feel somewhat discouraged about getting proper help. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 1

I was troubled about Fannie for a long time. I could not see that she had any real interest in the work. She had the most precious matter of practical godliness presented before her. She was handling subjects every day that if she fed upon them would give her spiritual food and Christian experience. But I received not the evidence that she caught the precious ideas, but rushed through them mechanically, passively, without taking them in and appropriating them to herself. The precious things became common. Poor soul, she feeds upon fiction more than upon the truth. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 2

She has a temperament that is high as the skies at one moment, and the next is deep down in proportion as she was up. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 3

But she has represented my writings as being in need of taking all to pieces and doing up in another style. If this is the case, the sooner I lay down my pen the better. The power of imagination is good, but when it leads to a highflown strain that only creates emotion, I do not care for it to be mingled with my work. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 4

Well, the heart-sickening detail I cannot enter into, but enough to say that warnings were given me from the Lord of what she was doing, but I was in a position where I knew not what to do. I told Marian Davis that Fannie had no interest in the work. I had no union with her. But Marian excused her, saying, “Oh, Fannie is tired. When she gets rested she will do differently.” 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 5

I have stood alone in my own house. I cannot expect to receive sympathy when there are those who do not and cannot take in the situation. They cannot discern my position and duty and mission. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 6

I have had opened before me the whole matter in figures and symbols, that Fannie Bolton was my adversary. I did not ever flatter her for her supposed zeal in different lines, or for her wonderful talent, and I could not feel in harmony with her. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 7

Soon after we arrived in Sydney from America, she sprained her ankle. I told her just what to do, to keep quiet and not to walk on it. But some with me said, “Poor Fannie, I don’t think it will hurt her,” and my advice was ignored. She was a cripple from the first of December until the next October. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 8

Then I learned through Fannie that she was in love with a young man from California whom she had met at Ann Arbor. I think it was Blakley. She acted at times as if possessed of an evil spirit, and she set in to make us all miserable. This course she repented of, I think. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 9

I received little sympathy from Fannie during my great suffering of eleven months in Preston. I then told her that I could never consent to have her a member of my family. I did not doubt she was a woman of talent, for she could talk me down any time. She was sometimes impudent and accusing. She would have made my life in my home bitterness but for the rich blessing of the Lord. I had His presence with me day and night. I was refreshed by the waters of life. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 10

Two years ago at Brighton camp meeting she began her work again as my adversary, reporting to others all of which I cannot repeat. But she created such a state of things in her representation that you would have supposed her to be the author of the articles she prepared, and maintained that it should be acknowledged that Marian and Fannie were in co-partnership with me in the publications bearing my signature. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 11

I had told her again and again that I wanted not her words, but my words, and then I discovered words she had inserted of her own, in the place of the words in which I had expressed my ideas, I put my pen across it. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 12

Two years ago I discharged her after a long, painful experience. I asked her to put into writing the form of recognition she craved. But she would not do this. She claimed to be converted, changed entirely, and made such humble confessions that I thought I would try her again. But she is the same, and now Satan begins to use her as he has done at the Armadale camp meeting, Melbourne. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 13

With it all there has been a lovesick sentimentalism for Caldwell. The affair had been carried on as they thought, in secrecy, but it was not thus. Those whose perceptive faculties were not dimmed know all they wished to know. Caldwell is a married man, with two children, the eldest about ten years old. He has been absent from his wife three years, and from the light the Lord has been pleased to give me, he has been anything but a patient, kind, thoughtful husband. His wife has not written him a line for the three years he has been absent. I think she hated him. She has obtained a divorce from him, but before this was done the attachment and love had been pledged to one another, Fannie to Caldwell, and Caldwell to Fannie. They supposed that if they were married, they could be united in taking the supervision of my place and my writings. After the wife had obtained a divorce, then he said she was not true to him, and he was free to marry whom he would. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 14

I told Fannie Bolton that it had nearly cost me my life to connect with her, and if I had another one united with her and the two to handle, I should soon be buried. No, I am entirely separated from Fannie. Never while time lasts will another article of mine pass into her hands. She has sought to betray me, to turn traitor, to say things that leave untrue impressions upon minds. She has educated herself in theatrical methods, and can act out to life in apparent sincerity a thing that is false. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 15

Brother and Sister Prescott have done me good service, although her pretentious acting was so deceiving. They, and many others, thought the woman was honest, and was really all she pretended to be. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 16

Fannie herself, notwithstanding the deception she was practicing, though she had, as she thought, deceived me for nearly one year, had the presumption to tell me that in her work of giving Bible readings, her words were inspired. She would tell how the ones she was talking with were wonderfully affected, and would turn pale. The strange part of the matter is that our own people are so ready to accept theatrical demonstrations as the inspiration of the Spirit of God. And I am more surprised, under the circumstances, that they should encourage her to connect with sacred things. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 17

She has urged and begged and cried for me to take her book again into my service. But I said, “No, for you make false statements in regard to your preparing the articles for papers and books, which I deny. With all apparent sincerity and honesty you state to others and to me, that you think the Lord has inspired you to change the words I have traced, and substitute your own for them. I call this a strange fire of your own kindling.” 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 18

We soon heard that Fannie was in broken health, sick in bed, and had decided to return to America. Next, one week ago last Friday, she sent a telegram that she would come to Morriset station about nine o’clock at night. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 19

My horses and carriage went for her four miles and a half. The school building took her in that night, and she has been near me here only to see to her things in the tent. She appears, I hear, almost as a nervous wreck. She consulted physicians in Melbourne, who prescribed for her to eat largely of eggs. She says she must have meat and oysters and such things in order to build up. She is now at Brother and Sister Shannon’s, who have taken a small home of four rooms, which is built upon a hill where it is very difficult for a carriage to approach, but is a retired, healthful location. She is in no condition to go on the long sea voyage to America, but will remain until she has better health. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 20

Sister Shannon will have a burden on her hands. Poor soul, I pity her, but she has now a knowledge of Fannie, and has chosen to do this. I do not wish to see Fannie. I can do her no good. She will misconstrue my words, and will misstate me. She will hear with ears that will hear only what she wants to hear. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 21

Now, my brother, you can see my necessities. I am still hoping for Eliza Burnham to come to me and aid me in my work. If she refuses to come then I can look no further in this country. I can only think of Sister Hall, a teacher in South Lancaster. Do you suppose she will come? I will write her a letter today and ask her about it. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 22

I have been reading the Temperance book, and I think I have matter on temperance to add to the book. Then I shall get out another book of an entirely different style, more for the young, and bring in some precious selections. What do you think of this? 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 23

I have now the numbers of Health Reformers and I want to get out a book also, showing the mother’s duty and influence over her children. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 24

I have the last portion of the Old Testament to get out in a book. I have many things I would like to write. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 25

Now in regard to Edson, I presented the matter to Brother Olsen. I tried to lay before him my situation in connection with Fannie, but Fannie, I think, had considerable talk with him, as she does to everyone, in representing the great difficulty in preparing the articles from my pen. He recommended that I take Fannie with me to Africa. I think for some reason Brother Olsen does not comprehend how we were situated here in this country. I am sure he was very dull of comprehension in regard to my relation to the work and in regard to Fannie’s connection with me. The way she represents matters is so misleading. She will say with pathos, “Sister White does not understand me. My motives are misapprehended.” 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 26

Jesus has told us that the fruit testifies of the character of the tree, and yet persons who do not have an intimate connection with Fannie for some time are certainly deceived, and I am misjudged. I cannot tell what I shall do. I am getting older, and my work given me of God should now be done rapidly, but where are my helpers? If Mary Steward would be the right kind of help I would have her at once, but she is mechanical. I want one that can comprehend the work by being imbued with the Spirit of God. Eva Giles Bell would wear my life out, and now here I am without helpers, with the exception of Marian. What shall I do, is the question that now troubles me. Fannie has often spoken of the daughter of Sister Harris (of Washington). What do you think of this young woman? Can you give me any information of her? If she could help me, I would send for her quickly; and I ask you, can you give me any light in regard to her? 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 27

January 13

I have just received a letter from Eliza Burnham in answer to a letter sent her from my pen. I stated I would pay her eight dollars per week and she could board herself. She says she will come as soon as she could arrange her matters. I am thankful for this now. If you can recommend a good, intelligent helper to connect with the help I have, I shall be very thankful. How would Miss Harris do? Can she be the help I need? I want no odd, peculiar, notional elements. I have served my time with such ones. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 28

January 15

We are very grateful today for the Lord’s goodness and love. Although the heat has been oppressive last night, the refreshing showers came gently. I have been now three weeks today in Cooranbong. I selected me a room in our unfinished house. It is plastered and dry, but the doors, the skirtings of the rooms, the painting had to be done. The hammering, the sawing, the handling of timber makes much noise, but I write on as if I could not hear. I have now settled down in my own room. Every room is small, for we thought we would have an office built separate from the house, but I had no proper room for me, so appropriated the dining room, and that made it necessary to add a kitchen, cheap and unplastered. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 29

Willie will, for the present, use my family tent and a building first put up on the ground for wash house and wood house. My family tent is pitched close beside, which gives them a chance, for the present, to locate on the ground. He will use one room in my home for his office. I tell you just how it is that you may understand. We have an orchard of young trees, a small garden—but it is doing finely. We are demonstrating by object lessons what can be done on the land in Cooranbong that has been so strangely neglected. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 30

Brother Metcalf Hare sent me word by his niece Maggie Hare that I must take courage, for that which the inhabitants declared could not be done has been done. An excellent vegetable garden is doing remarkably well. A few of the fruit trees have died, because for one full year we have had no rain. One and two showers numbered our blessings in this respect. We have creeks of fresh water on our ground, and it has required great diligence to bring water to the vegetable garden, but since coming on the ground, we have had three showers. Two were accompanied with heavy thunder and very brilliant lightning. The shower last night was most precious. It came gentle as the dew and caused all nature to be thankful. The heat has been intense, more like a hot blast from a furnace. The report is that we have been having very hot weather. Its equal has not been for the last twenty-five years. I did not expect this. It has been very difficult to do anything. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 31

Our goods came from Sydney on two steam vessels, so you see the settling will have to be done; but we are thankful for our retired home. Willie White will build as soon as he can get means by selling his home in Battle Creek. We begrudge every dollar expended and yet we must have a home. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 32

You speak of Edson. It seems consistent that he should be with me, travel with me, help me on my book-making. I want to get out quite a number of books. Edson and Emma will be such welcome help in my work. But I dare not be selfish. If Edson shall feel that the Lord says, “Your mother needs your help, go to her assistance,” I would be so thankful. I cannot get a chance at Willie, only occasionally, for a few moments. He is carrying double the burdens that he should, but how can it be helped? 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 33

Now I have a question on this point to ask you, Is there not some young reliable man, a care-taker, who could act as his business agent to help him? Caldwell is with him, but he is in need of better help and a man more reliable. I fear much to trust such important matters as we have to handle in Caldwell’s hands. But he is now tolerated because he is the only help we can now see is to be had. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 34

We received your letters last Friday. Thank you heartily. They did me much good. Willie was away at Sydney. Sara and I have had to plan and look after the workmen. Brother Shannon, who is master workman in building, receives his orders from Sara and me, and gives them to the builders. Then there are many things to be done in connection with moving and settling. I suppose you know what this means, but with us it is to put our goods on vans, put them in a boat for Sydney, change to larger boat, then still change for boat at Sydney. Then the goods are unloaded on the school ground, then loaded upon a dray and drawn by [a] team of six bullocks to our premises. Thus the moving is moving in every sense of the word. It is very pleasant here, and the Lord will abide with us if we will abide with Him. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 35

I fear you will be unable to read this. I had a most serious injury on the little finger of my right hand. I put it down carelessly, not knowing what I was doing, and the finger was between the body of the chair and the patent standard rocker. I rocked back and the end of my finger just below the nail ached as though the bones were broken. Sara shrieked and pulled out my finger, wonderfully mangled. But what a blessing is hot water. I wrapped it in hot flannel and kept it bandaged all day. It affected my head and stomach. I could understand clearly that when one member suffers the whole body sympathizes because it feels the bruise. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 36

I had some pain that night, but although the cut almost went through my finger, I had almost no pain after about four hours; but this little finger is a hindrance to my writing. So please excuse all blunders, for with various accidents and the noise of hammer and saw and the throwing about of timber, and the washing of windows and the various interruptions, I scarcely think this letter of sufficient worth to send. I have no time to get it copied. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 37

Last night at dark I received a letter from the Steamship Company that a boat would sail for Norfolk January 16. This morning and last evening I wrote letters and sent many chapters of important matter for Brother Belden and Brother Anderson to read to the church. I sent all the papers I could get together. Brother Belden and wife are doing considerable work in caring for the sick on the Island, and I think they are gaining the confidence of the natives, and the white people also. I send you a copy of letters written, amid all the bustle and thundering noises about me. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 38

I wish I could see you and talk with you. I suppose I may never come to America; the Lord’s will be done. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 39

Health reform, I have stated, needs reforming. The grand finishing touch that Ann Arbor has been supposed to give the students is educating away from the lessons that God has given in regard to drug medication. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 40

For years matters have been opened before me in regard to drug medication as practiced in the sanitarium. The effects of drugs administered by the physicians is creating a greater evil in order to cure a lesser evil. The use of drugs has always been a curse to our world and caused the death of many that might have been alive today. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 41

I was speaking most earnestly upon this matter, before yourself and your physicians. The dabbling in these supposed remedies which never cure, leave in their track great evils because they produce lifelong suffering. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 42

The Lord is not pleased with the dealing out of drugs. Many a life whose eyes have closed in death might have been saved if the physicians had left alone their drug poisons, if there had been a decided application of health and life-giving remedies, pure water used for drinking purposes, pure water used most thoroughly for all, hot and cold, upon the afflicted as we used to do. But there is need of reforms and the sanitarium has come to be very important. 10LtMs, Lt 106, 1895, par. 43