Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 1 (1844 - 1868)

Lt 5, 1861

Loughborough, Mary

Battle Creek, Michigan

June 6, 1861

Portions of this letter are published in 1Bio 468-469.

Dear Sister Mary [Loughborough]:

I have done as you directed with your supporter and apron. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 1

As a family we are prospering. My husband, though, has too much care—just now business matters in the Office, building at home, and planning to build the Office. He gets poor rest nights; is so nervous; has had a sore gather and break in his head. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 2

Our aged parents are with us, willing to be led and do as we wish them to. This addition, of course, is an addition to our cares, but I would not have them circumstanced again, as they have been at Sarah’s, for anything. They seem first rate. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 3

Jenny had a serious time with her right eye. She was careless, took cold, and had a very severe sickness and inflammation in her left eye. Cynthia Carr has been with us for some weeks. She is an excellent girl. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 4

I have no particular news to write you. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 5

Mary, I have been thinking long and patiently upon what you said to me in regard to your wearing hoops. I am prepared to answer: Do not put on hoops by any means. I believe that God will have His people distinct from the nations around them. They are peculiar and should we strive to abolish or put away every sign that marks us as peculiar? No, no; let us preserve the signs which distinguish us in dress, as well as articles of faith. By putting on hoops, however small, you not only give countenance, but a powerful influence to this ridiculous fashion, and you place yourself where you could not reprove those who may choose to wear the larger hoops. Stand clear from this disgusting fashion. My mouth is open. I shall speak plain upon hoops in the next Review. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 6

Dear Mary, let your influence tell for God. You must take a position to exert an influence over others to bring them up in spirituality. You must guard yourself against following the influence of those around you. If others are light and trifling, be grave yourself. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 7

And, Mary, suffer me a little upon this point: I wish in all sisterly and motherly kindness to kindly warn you upon another point. I have often noticed before others a manner you have in speaking to John in rather a dictating manner, the tone of your voice sounding impatient. Mary, others notice this and have spoken of it to me. It hurts your influence. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 8

We women must remember that God has placed us subject to the husband. He is the head, and our judgment and views and reasonings must agree with his if possible. If not, the preference in God’s Word is given to the husband where it is not a matter of conscience. We must yield to the head. I have said more, perhaps, upon this point than necessary. Please watch this point. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 9

I am not reproving you, remember, but merely cautioning you. Never talk to John as though he were a little boy. You reverence him and others will take an elevated position, Mary, and you will elevate others. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 10

Seek to be spiritually minded. We are doing work for eternity. Mary, be an example. We love you as one of our children and I wish so much that you and John may prosper. Be of good courage. Trust in the Lord at all times. He will be your stronghold and your deliverer. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 11

Much love to all Brother Newton’s family and Sister Golden and Brother Berry’s and Lathrop and all our friends. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 12

Please write me, Mary, fully. Tell me all your joys, trials, disappointments, etc. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 13

In much love. 1LtMs, Lt 5, 1861, par. 14