Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 1 (1844 - 1868)

Ms 3, 1865

Testimony Regarding James White

NP

1865

Previously unpublished.

I was shown in vision December 25 the case of my husband. I saw that God had accepted his humiliation and the afflicting of his soul before Him, and that He had accepted his confessions of his lack of consecration to God and his repentance for the errors and mistakes in his past course, which have caused him such sorrow and despondency of mind during his protracted illness. Said the angel, “Pardon is written.” 1LtMs, Ms 3, 1865, par. 1

I was shown that his greatest wrong in the past has been an unforgiving spirit toward his brethren who have injured his influence in the cause of God, greatly increased his care and labor to counteract their influence, and have brought upon him extreme sufferings of mind by their wrong course. He has not in every case been as pitiful and compassionate to the erring as our heavenly Father has been toward His erring, sinning, repenting children. 1LtMs, Ms 3, 1865, par. 2

Those who have by their wrong course caused him the greatest labor and sufferings of mind he could, and did, forgive when they heartily came up to the point and frankly acknowledged their wrongs and asked for forgiveness, and he could fellowship them as brethren. Although the wrong was healed in the sight of God, yet in his own mind he sometimes probed that wound by dwelling upon and referring to the past. By thus doing, he suffered the wound to fester and make him unhappy and dissatisfied, and a murmuring spirit came in against his brethren. The question would arise in his mind why the Lord suffered his brethren to take the course they had and cause him so many unnecessary trials when his burdens were so many. In this way he lived over his past experience, and in his mind revived his past trials, which should have passed into oblivion and he not embitter his life with such saddening, unprofitable remembrance. 1LtMs, Ms 3, 1865, par. 3

He has not always realized the pity and love that should be exercised towards those who have been so unfortunate as to fall under the temptations of Satan. Such ones were the real sufferers and the losers, instead of himself, as long as he should remain steadfast at his post doing the will and work of his heavenly Father. When these souls begin to see their errors they have a hard battle to resist the temptations of the devil and work their way from the darkness to the light by humble confessions. They have Satan to contend with, their own proud spirit to overcome. Such need help from those who are in the light, that they may be brought from their beclouded, blinded, discouraging condition where they can begin to hope and obtain strength to bruise Satan under their feet. 1LtMs, Ms 3, 1865, par. 4

I saw that in the past it has had an unhappy influence upon the mind of my husband to dwell upon the unhappy trials of the past. These unpleasant recollections unfitted him for the peace of God to dwell in his heart, which peace would lead him in everything to give thanks to God. 1LtMs, Ms 3, 1865, par. 5

I saw that the Lord had suffered the mind of my husband to be desponding because of his errors and mistakes. He had permitted him to despair nearly of the forgiveness of God, not because his sins were of such magnitude that God had given him up to darkness of mind, but to give him an experience that he might know how painful it was to be in a state of uncertainty and doubt, and how agonizing to be in uncertainty in regard to the forgiveness of God and being accepted of Him. Said the angel, “God will have His afflicted servant more clearly understand, ‘For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ [Matthew 6:14, 15.]” 1LtMs, Ms 3, 1865, par. 6

I saw that if God should be as exacting and should deal with us as we often deal with one another, we might all be thrown into a state of hopeless despair. I was shown that God permitted this affliction to teach my husband and myself much that we should not otherwise have learned in as short a time. The Lord permitted us to go to Dansville for our experience could not be thorough without it. 1LtMs, Ms 3, 1865, par. 7