Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 9 (1894)

Lt 134, 1894

White, W. C.

August 30, 1894

Previously unpublished.

Dear Son, W. C. White:

After returning from Morisset—to take May Walling to the depot—and having dinner, Emily and your mother went to Mrs. Martin’s for oranges. We purchased half a case. They call them a case here. We find them excellent. Shall engage more just as soon as we can have the horse to go again. We had a shower to drive home in, but we did not get wet. We saw the most beautiful rainbow my eyes ever looked upon. It was beautiful, beautiful! The bow in the cloud is the promise of God’s mercy and forbearance and love. It is the symbol of God’s unalterable covenant for all who believe in Him and trust in Jesus Christ as their personal Saviour. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 1

We received your letter. Thank you for writing. Yesterday Emily made inquiry of Mr. Russell in regard to vegetables, where we could go to find them. The police officer was there and he said he knew of but one place where they had any show of vegetables and directed us two miles away to a woman who raised vegetables last year. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 2

Emily and I went to the place this morning. We found the house set quite a little distance from the road. She came out to the gate and talked with me and I asked her if she loved the Lord. “Oh yes,” she said. “What could I have done in my poverty if I did not have the help of the Lord to be with me? He is all I have to depend upon and One who will be to me a present help in my conflicts and struggles. I have attended the Methodist meetings but I am a Presbyterian and shall be till I die. But I am not bigoted; I would attend any meeting if there was one I could get to. My boys do very well, but Sunday is a long day for them with no meeting to attend and no work to keep them busy. My husband is a flagman at a distant station. I leave with him, to care for him, a girl eleven years old, and he earns what he can. I have had eleven children; six I have raised. I said to my husband, ‘Father, I will go take up a piece of land and pay for it as fast we possibly can.’ One hundred and fifty acres we have here—paid one pound an acre eight years ago.” Her story of her struggles was quite interesting, but I will give no more particulars now. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 3

We find no one is raising garden produce anywhere around here. Now, cannot you have Stephen buy a quantity of carrots, turnips—the yellow kind—cauliflower, at auction prices; cabbages, if they can be had, green peas in the pod, and dried peas, green peas; and send these up on the boat, costing little? There is not much it is possible for these people to get, to have a change in their diet. We are securing several boxes of oranges. They will, if kept cool, keep some time. With the exceptions of these two places, Martins and Mallones, we can find but one other place where oranges can be had. Please consider this matter. Supplies must come from Sydney, Parramatta, if we get anything to supply the necessities of a family. I write now after laying the matter before Brother Lawrence. He thinks it would be an excellent plan. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 4

We think that all through this section of country there will be found jewels that are hungering and thirsting for the waters of life. We intend to get on the track of all we can and take their names. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 5

Brother Lawrence went to Newcastle yesterday and purchased some supplies. He goes to the depot for them this afternoon. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 6

I am not venturing to write much, for I know that which others would not understand if I told them—that I had come about to the length of my chain. I came here to test the matter, to see if there would be a change in my condition. If not, I decided my best course was to stop all writing and get where I could not have the burdens I had borne. I am better as far as breathing is concerned. The exhaustion is passing away, but I cannot tax my brain with reading or with writing except a very little. I can ride and it does me good. I shall, if God will forgive me for the past overdoing, not wait to see if others will sense the situation and arrange for me. This burden I alone can bear, for I know best in regard to myself. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 7

I have now, I hope, come to my senses since the last attack of sickness. I shall understand that I know best my own case, and shall make any change I deem essential for me to improve in health. For two days I was dizzy and about blind, and was threatened with paralysis. The sound of the human voice seemed unbearable. Marian’s voice while reading manuscript to me vibrated on my brain so painfully I could not endure it. The least perplexities arising would set my heart thumping and my nose bleeding. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 8

I will not, my son, lay my personal burden on you. You have enough to bear, and if I find I am not able to do my part of the work in the love and fear of God, I shall go to America. If I am to fail in any way in health I will never allow myself to be associated with you, because I could not help you, but only burden one who has all he can bear. But I shall not feel grieved, my son, if you cannot understand all my difficulties. I have told you of too many of them, lest you should not understand me, but it shall be so no more. The Lord will never lay my case upon you, for you have altogether too much to bear already. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 9

That discouragements come to me I cannot help. The cause is followed by the effect. The church militant is not the church triumphant. It is a wonder to myself that I have endured what I have, for I am not yet immortal. I must be tested and proved to the last. I must and will be where I can be as free from perplexities as possible. The confusion and care work upon my tired brain so that I dread constant stir and no quietude, and I do not want my case to lie with weight on you. Let those who do not have so great a work to do that they are pressed to the very verge of breakdown have the care of me. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 10

I have no time to write more. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 11

Mother.

I talked with May as to how she should go. She knows all about it, just as you have written, and she is in harmony with the same. She will go as Sister Tenney went, and as Brother and Sister Lawrence and others have gone, and secure a berth for her extra fare. 9LtMs, Lt 134, 1894, par. 12

Mother.