Manuscripts and Memories of Minneapolis

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L. R. Conradi to E. G. White, Aug. 16, 1891

Conradi, L. R.
Hamburg, Germany
August 16, 1891
Mrs. E.G. White
Battle Creek, Michigan
Dear Sister in Christ:

You may be somewhat surprised to receive a letter from me, but during this past week I felt impressed that to write to you and free my heart, would be only another weight cast aside that may hinder me in my heavenly race. You will therefore pardon when I take some of your valuable time; I shall try to be short. MMM 176.1

When I first became connected with this people, over 13 years ago, I learned by experience what it is to taste the peace of God and the surety of sins forgiven, also to be free from the bondage of sin. As to theory, I confess I had but little light on this point, as on many others. For nearly seven years I remained victor, making steady progress. It was my privilege to make your and your dear husband’s acquaintance shortly after embracing the truth and I shall never forget his kindness, as he bought me the coat in which I graduated and gave me the charts when I began to preach. But when I came to Europe, rather a short time previous defeats came, at first only slight, at long intervals. While my desire was to work for union, yet I had not always the right feeling toward you. MMM 176.2

The peculiar circumstances at Basel were no help to me and I was slowly losing ground. When I went to America I hoped to be helped, but the Minneapolis meeting only added darkness. Your words proved true in my case. I tried to conquer by keeping at work; this helped for seasons, partly, but the bondage remained. O, how dark are the hours of bondage, if one has tasted freedom before! Had it not been for the freedom and experience gained before this time, I do not know where I would have drifted! MMM 176.3

But the sweet peace of God no longer abideth. I would enjoy freedom and feel His blessings during meetings, but when over there the bondage returned, it was an “up” and “down” and it rather went down, then up. More than once I laid stretched on the floor, asking God to help, but I was not willing to break fully with the idol sin. MMM 176.4

Brother Olsen came to Hamburg and we went to Basel. I again went further and struggled and wrestled, until a week ago I came again to Hamburg. The condition of my wife and the unsettled state of our affairs weighed heavily and while I pleaded with God, I can say for once more, I have been freed, the sweet peace of God has returned to abide, and today I rather give life and all than to lose it again by sin. MMM 176.5

O, it tastes so precious, after years of spiritual dearth! And today, with the light I have received from my brethren, I hope to keep the experience and preserve it unto the end. I can believe that the victory even unto the end is mine, and not because I am able, for I have learned my nothingness, but because Christ liveth in me. For my dark experiences in the past I have but one to blame and that is—myself. MMM 176.6

May outer darkness be ever so great, if we are bright, we bring even light. But I praise God for His long-suffering with me, as unworthy as I was to have not only a position, but a place among His people. MMM 177.1

In view of the feelings I cherished against you and words I have dropped especially during the Minneapolis meeting, I ask your forgiveness and if you and my brethren still grant me a place in the cause of God, I can say, with God’s help of which I have evidence, I shall be a different minister, member and brother. My heart goes out for souls as it did years ago and I feel that freedom from the bondage of sin and the peace of God as I did then. Sad experiences are behind me, but I look forward with good confidence to a brighter future. I want to learn more of the fullness in Christ and what my high calling in Him is. And I want to get in that full harmony with my brethren and sisters, that when we meet again, I can with them enjoy God’s rich blessings. MMM 177.2

God in His mercy even in my dark hours has helped me to keep in peace with my brethren here and in union with our people, and even to work for that union, yet I have marred it only too often by my deeds. The Lord has kept me until now, where I not deserved it, but He has found me again and I want to go no more astray. MMM 177.3

I can now prize your admonitions of the past and see light where before was darkness. Should it not be my privilege to meet you the coming year, I can assure you that in Christ I shall be one with you in your work and that my prayers will follow you. [A] few words from you that you received my letter and that you grant the forgiveness will be appreciated and words of counsel, advice or reproof will be thankfully received. MMM 177.4

In [a] few more weeks Brother Hoser and I expect to undertake another trip East and I hope and believe that we will be remembered in the prayers of God’s people. We have every reason to be encouraged as to the work in the German and Russian mission field. As you have been personally acquainted in Rhenish Prussia, it will interest you to learn that the Derner family in Gladbach is coming closer and closer, One daughter, Sr. Kaiser, has joined us and proves a great help, and August Derner the most intelligent, told me last week that all his prejudice and his criticizing spirit has left him and he and his family is coming closer and closer. They now have regular Sabbath meetings there. MMM 177.5

We also organized a new church in the city of Wiesbaden, and there are now five churches in Germany with 126 members, while about 150 Sabbathkeepers. The spirit of this message seems to take more hold of our people and I believe if the shepherds work in the power of God, the sheep will not lack pasture, nor will there be any want of increase. MMM 177.6

May the Lord bless you on your journey to Australia if it should be in His providence for you to go. MMM 177.7

Yours in the truth,
(Signed) L.R. Conradi
Typed from handwritten original
Jan. 18, 1974
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