Ms 177, 1905

Diary Fragments, September - October 1905

California

September 1 - October 31, 1905

Portions of this manuscript are published in 6Bio 62.

September 1, 1905

Institution Loma Linda, Redlands, Southern California

I am still under the influence of influenza, but I have felt it to be my duty not to become discouraged and to act as if I were on the sick list and I could do nothing. The Lord will have every one do what he can do—lift, lift. By lifting, you will become stronger to lift. Ways will open before you that you will accomplish a good work, because the Lord’s power is back of you if you walk humbly with God. You can do much. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 1

[September 9, 1905]

Glendale Sanitarium

Notwithstanding the influenza is upon me, I must bear my testimony to the church in Los Angeles. May the Lord strengthen me and direct me in the words I shall speak. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 2

I spoke from (Isaiah 58) chapter, and the Lord strengthened me. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 3

September 11, 1905

Paradise Valley, San Diego, California

I am grieved at heart when I see the continual increase of restaurants. Talents and capabilities are fully employed to create and enlarge them, and what is gained?—Very little to glorify God, and the end is so near. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 4

Sabbath, September [23?], 1905

Elmshaven, St. Helena, California

This morning cannot sleep after two o’clock. I received letters from Dr. Holden and J. E. White, which I have tried to answer Friday. This morning my trust is in the Lord. I know not what a day may bring forth. I look back upon my journey of six weeks. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 5

The camp-meeting was large. About one hundred and fifty tents were on the grounds, neatly arranged. It was a village of tents. I spoke before the congregation seven times. The Lord helped me. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 6

September 28, 1905

St. Helena Sanitarium

I have had a broken night—not suffering with bodily pain, but I am burdened heavily with the contemplation of the work which I see should be done. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 7

October 8, 1905

Elmshaven, St. Helena Sanitarium, California

I have not been able to sleep after one o’clock a.m. My mind is burdened very much more than usual. The question is with me, Why are we not all more deeply stirred as we see the increasing wickedness in our land? We are in possession of the Word of God, which comes to us who believe the Word as light shining amid the moral darkness. The Bible is our instructor and reveals to us how we may each take possession of the inheritance which all who believe in Christ may possess through faith. We have our assurance from the Bible that we have not followed “cunningly devised fables.” [2 Peter 1:16.] 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 8

October 15, 1905

Elmshaven, St. Helena, California

Awakened at half-past eleven o’clock. I could not sleep, but I could pray. I am asking my heavenly Father for help, special physical help, and clearness of mind, that I may place in proper order the multitudes of books containing testimonies borne, that in any emergency they can be used. Then shall I have finished my work and rest a little moment until the indignation shall be past. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 9

I see such representations of that which will be that will substantiate the truth for this time. We are warned by God through the prophet Daniel. I have an earnest experience of what is and what shall be, and it does seem so difficult to arouse our people to understand the true bearing of the signs of the times. I beseech all who are sleeping at their posts to see and sense how many unimportant, uncalled-for matters are absorbing the minds of those who should be engaged in the very work that God has appointed. They are accumulating extra responsibilities, but not the very work the Lord has set them to do. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 10

I am informed that now, just now, is the period of time when special warnings are to go forth, and the trumpet is to give a certain sound in proclamation of what is to be, and many things are rushing in of lesser consequence to make of none effect the subjects that now should arrest the people. Unimportant matters are stealing in, and the human mind becomes absorbed in trifling matters, and the subjects that mean so much to every soul in our world have little effect. The messages that should come to the people to prepare them for the greatest issues are treated indifferently. The world is now becoming more and more as it was in the days of Noah. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 11

October 1905

St. Helena, California

I cannot sleep after twelve o’clock. A large congregation was before me. I was speaking in regard to the work to be done in our churches. We must encourage them to cultivate genuine trust in Jesus Christ. These days are days of peril and of real trials, but we must bear them right loyally. I will not fail nor be discouraged. Judge not. Matthew 6. Christ gives His disciples a form of prayer; wonderful, it is, in its simplicity. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 12

October 22, 1905

Elmshaven, St. Helena Sanitarium, California

The past night has been one of some sleeping, but more of earnest prayer to our heavenly Father who has given for our salvation His only begotten Son, who gave His own life a sacrifice for the sin of the world. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 13

October 23, 1905

Elmshaven, St. Helena Sanitarium, California

I have not had a night of sleep, but a night of much prayer. The cause of God is in peril as Dr. Kellogg and those who deceived with him are prompted by the same spirit which led to rebellion in the heavenly courts and is very active now in them, working out the plans of the fallen foe. I have special instruction what I shall do, and the Lord has given me light and strength to do this very work. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 14

October 24, 1905

Elmshaven, St. Helena, California

Tuesday morning. I thank the Lord with heart and soul and voice I have slept well during the night, notwithstanding I carry a heavy burden for the responsible men of Battle Creek. Yet the light given me is clear and unobstructed in the course I am to pursue. How grateful I am to my heavenly Father for the peace of mind in and through the manifestations of the grace of God. I have, it seems, a renewal of strength, for the Lord saith, “I have a special work for you to do.” The representations made to me in the visions of the night are the same as have been made in regard to Battle Creek. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 15

*****

October 24, 1905

This has been a day of distress of soul, represented to me by some things I shall trace upon paper. My heart is wrung with anguish. W. C. White and his mother have had a praying season, and it has seemed we were, as represented to me, in a strong current, trying to swim against the tide. This is the case, but it is no use to converse in regard to it. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 16

I learn reports are circulated that W. C. White manipulates his mother’s writing. All have known how much W. C. White manipulates his mother’s writings, when he has been separated from me very much of the time for the years before this year 1905; and we have, when we could get together, planned much and done so little in issuing books. But I utterly deny the charges. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 17

October 31, 1905

St. Helena, California

I awake at three o’clock. My heart goes forth in grateful thanksgiving that I am free from aches and pains. My right hand is calm and steady, and I can fill my fountain pen without spilling a drop of ink. I thank God that for many years this hand has seldom been weak. I can walk up and down stairs with perfect ease, and some days I go up and down as many as twelve times. 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 18

I desire with heart and soul to do the work that God has given me as His messenger. I am anxious to give people the evidences of our faith as found in the Scriptures. There are many today who present strange doctrines, giving the Scriptures a wrong meaning. Elder Ballenger thinks that he has new light and is burdened to give it to the people, but the Lord has instructed me that he has misapplied texts of Scripture and given them a wrong application. The Word of God is always the truth, but the doctrines that Elder Ballenger advances, if received, would unsettle our faith in the sanctuary question. Already Elder Ballenger has mystified minds by his large array of texts. These texts are true, but he has placed them where they do not belong. [This entry from Ms 145, 1905.] 20LtMs, Ms 177, 1905, par. 19