Ms 93, 1900

Diary, May 1900

May 9-29, 1900

Portions of this manuscript are published in 4Bio 383.

Wednesday, May 9, 1900

Sunnyside, Cooranbong

This day has been one of considerable anxiety. I am not feeling as cheerful in mind as I desire. I am so burdened with the work that ought to be done that is not done. We have appointed a council—Brethren Hare, Gates, Crothers, James, and Robinson. We assembled in the afternoon, and we counselled together as to the best way of showing we have an interest for the people in Martinsville, Dora Creek, and other places. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 1

Thursday, May 10, 1900

Summer Hill, Sydney

Was not able to sleep much. The appointment of two days’ meeting has been made in Parramatta. I have not attended a meeting in that place for years. I do not feel clear to remain away because I feel so exhausted, for the Lord has often helped me and strengthened me. Yes, my testimony I bear in this diary is that when I have ventured out in great weakness to speak before the people—before small companies or before thousands—the Lord has been my helper, my strength, my front guard, my rereward. I will put my trust in God, although so weak I cannot even put up what few things I need. I cannot do more than keep seated in my chair and let Sara do all the preparation. My heart is so weak and yet I shall get in the carriage and ride to Morisset. If I can go no farther, [I] will come back saying, “I was willing. Lord, I did what I could.” 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 2

Sara, Maggie Hare, and W. C. White accompanied me. Others of our brethren were on the same train. I had a first rate chance to rest in the ladies’ compartment and felt some relieved when we left the cars, making our change at Strathfield. Then came the crossing down stairs and up stairs to take the cars for Summer Hill. If we could have been accommodated at Parramatta it would have been a great blessing to me, but there was not a place among our brethren where we could be entertained. We were so glad to be at last on the last part of the journey and no more getting out, climbing stairs. We reached Brother and Sister Hindson’s. Went to my room and took my refreshments on a tray in my room. I had some conversation with friends, but I could not bear any confusion or noise. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 3

Friday, May 11, 1900

Summer Hill, Sydney

Today is preparation day. I am convinced it is my strength to “sit still.” This day I could do nothing else but keep quiet. Conversed with Dr. Caro and Brother Sharp. I told them not to subscribe to any conditions in reference to the health foods, that the profits shall go into the sanitarium work and nothing else. When men would put bonds around the blessings of God, in that human minds shall be used only to do a special work, make no contract with them. You have Someone that stands back of every human agency who may give you orders to counterwork human devising and orders. Therefore do not make contracts and have one cord “thou shalt” and “shalt not” be bound upon you to restrict God’s blessing in any way by having them define the profits to do a certain work. Circumstances make it a necessity to advance mission work in various lines for the improvement and advancing of the work of God. Oh, would that men would come to their senses! God would have His people benefit by tact and skill and wisdom in improvement that His people shall stand amongst the most distinguished of the world. We are to advance from light to a greater light. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 4

Saturday, May 12, 1900

Summer Hill, Sydney

After Sabbath. All went to the meeting at Parramatta in the morning. I rested until one o’clock. Dr. Caro kindly lent us his horse and carriage and we drove twelve miles to Parramatta to be saved the confusion of car travel and climbing up the long stairs at station. The weather was beautiful, all that we could desire. On the way we met very large wagons loaded with soldiers and equipment. Four of these large wagons were piled up with tents, blankets, and necessary goods for camping. Then came the soldiers with their guns over their soldiers, dressed in gray. All seemed to be youth. Will they be prepared for life or for death? How many of them think of this? In the excitement and turmoil of war, do they consider whether they are spiritually in the enemy’s ranks or in the Lord’s army? 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 5

The meetings, I learn, are going well. A good spirit is in the meeting. The church was full. Many smaller churches had come in and some from Ashfield and Stanmore. The Lord strengthened me to speak to the people and I thank His holy name. The meeting was at three p.m. and we were compelled to leave immediately after I was through speaking, to get back twelve miles to Summer Hill before night. I have reason to thank the Lord for His goodness and mercy in strengthening me to give my message to the people. We did not get to Summer Hill until after dark. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 6

I have been deeply impressed that we are not as a people growing in faith and trust and confidence and hope and joyousness in the Lord. We would praise the Lord must more if we recounted His mercies and did not forget His benefits to us. We would never murmur and complain if we realized the willingness of our heavenly Father to give us largely all spiritual grace. As a people having great light, righteousness should everywhere prevail. “That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him: in whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will: that we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ.” Ephesians 1:10-12. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 7

Sunday, May 13, 1900

Summer Hill, Sydney

I have slept more than usual this past night, for which I praise the Lord. There are many things very precious that have come to my mind during the night season. I am deeply impressed with the fact [that] as a people, believing the most momentous truths, we do not pray and believe and receive the power that God is willing [to,] and will, graciously bestow upon us all if we will believe, as was ask Him, that we do receive according to His Word, and then watch unto prayer to fulfill the requirements of God. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 8

I had some conversation with Dr. Caro, and my prayer is that he shall settle deeper and still deeper into the truth, the spirit of the truth being with him in every speech, in every action, that it can be seen, yes, demonstrated, that God is with him. He has many things to learn. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 9

Meetings held all day in Parramatta with good attendance and with good results. Again we were favored with Dr. Caro’s horse and carriage. We started in plenty [of] time and walked the horse nearly all the way, for we wanted to be in the open air until we came near the Auburn meat works, then we quickened our pace for stench of the creek was terrible. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 10

We had a house full of people, every seat occupied. I spoke in reference to the love of God from (1 John 3:1-4), bringing in the necessity of refining and purifying the heart that should every day be renewed in knowledge of truth and righteousness. The Lord compared the time of His coming to the days that were before the flood. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 11

Monday, May 14, 1900

Summer Hill, Sydney

I have had a hard night. Could not sleep until after midnight. I did not say half I wished to say upon temperance. We might give lecture after lecture and yet one-millionth part would not be told of the evil of intemperance. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 12

Tuesday, May 15, 1900

Summer Hill, Sydney

I am quite exhausted this morning. We have been having most beautiful weather for our two days’ meeting. I thank and praise the Lord that this meeting of two days has been a great blessing to those who have assembled from the churches to attend. Such meetings should be held often and will accomplish much good in encouraging the people of God. The churches should associate together as often as possible. Every church needs to mingle together as often as possible, that they may strengthened by one another and enlightened by the Word of God, which needs to be often repeated. The Holy Spirit will impress minds and enlighten them and confirm them in the faith and practice of the revealed will of God. There is need of Christians associating more together and studying the Scriptures together, that they may have a more clear comprehension of the Word of life and obey it, and love one another as brethren, members of the royal family of God. “Love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.” [1 Peter 3:8.] There are to be no feelings of superiority or enmity and dissension, for then Christ is not represented in His people. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 13

We left Summer Hill in the cab for station. Again the task was before me of going up and down the long flight of stairs. But after waiting three-quarters of an hour we are seated in the cars for Thornleigh. We met Brother Radley with his horse and carriage to take us to Sister Wessels’. After taking dinner with the family, we looked over the place. It is a very nice place and the very place to properly accommodate them well in her husband’s absence. Sister Anthony and Sister Wessels decided to go with us for a visit to Cooranbong. We were then taken by Brother Radley to view the sanitarium farm. Oranges and mandarins were getting ripe and we feasted on the fruit of the orchard. We were pleased to see the fruit so carefully plucked and packed for sale for Sydney market. The large family in the Summer Hill sanitarium is supplied with the fruit abundantly. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 14

Wednesday, May 16, 1900

Sunnyside, Cooranbong

Home again! We were taken to the station and Sister John Wessels and her mother met us at the next station on the cars. I lay down and rested and slept some. At Dora Creek station we met our teams waiting for us, and we came to our home very comfortably. This morning I am perusing American mail which came last Monday. We found plenty to read. Some was encouraging and other matters not as encouraging. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 15

Thursday, May 17, 1900

Cooranbong

Again short ration of sleep. I do my principal thinking sometimes in long hours of the night and more frequently in the short hours of the night. I long for peaceful rest. I am pleading with my heavenly Father to manifest Himself in a more decided manner to His commandment-keeping people. I have long concluded that true faith and religion does not consist in feeling happy but in seeking to be a blessing to others. If we can make others happy then I am at rest in the Lord. I realize a more close connection with my Saviour when I do not study myself but keep my mind studying Jesus Christ, beholding my Saviour and contemplating His character of true goodness—that He is my Saviour and wants me to follow His footsteps that I may know day by day the true higher life—because my life is bound up in His life. Then as I write I know that His Spirit rests upon me. I can understand the Word and it is my bread of life. If I eat this bread as my daily spiritual food, I shall grow in spirituality as I am a doer of the Word. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 16

Heavenly scenes were presented to me in the life of Christ, pleasant to contemplate; and again painful scenes which were not always pleasant for Him to bear which pained my heart. May the Lord help me to consider all the unpleasantness, all the grief as He made His efforts to enlighten and save His own nation who only hated Him in return. He could have saved every one of them if they would have been saved in receiving Him and believing in Him and obeying His Word, which was and is life to all who have genuine repentance and faith. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 17

It is painful to our Lord to see the dwarfed religious life of those who claim to be Christians because they do not properly represent Him to the world. He would have His Holy Spirit breathed upon all who ask for it in faith. He is more willing to give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him than parents are to give good gifts unto their children. Do we realize that a consecrated life has a telling influence upon many souls in our world? Life hid with Christ in God means much, and we are responsible for every hour of our life which has been granted us to form characters for the future life and to respond to the declaration, “We are laborers together with God: ye are God’s husbandry, ye are God’s building.” [1 Corinthians 3:9.] We are working for time and for eternity. “Write, Blessed are the dead that die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, they do rest from their labors; and their works do follow them.” [Revelation 14:13.] Then glory will come back to God through the living influence of church members who have been doers of the commandments of God. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 18

Friday, May 18, 1900

Cooranbong

I have not the blessing of sleep the past night. There are many things I long to do to help souls that need help right around us, but I have not strength to do one-half that which I desire to do. I so much desire that as a people who have had great light we should become channels of light for those who need all the light we can give them. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 19

Saturday, May 19, 1900

Sunnyside, Cooranbong

Did not attend meeting. I greatly needed rest. My head was weary, my heart troubled me, and my soul was sorrowful over the many things that seem to have come in, [in] America, that have hurt the work and cause of God and greatly hindered its advancement. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 20

Sunday, May 20, 1900

Sunnyside, Cooranbong

It is raining and has been not genuinely cold, yet wet; but I do not mind it, for I have much to do in writing and cannot get out to ride or walk. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 21

Tuesday, May 22, 1900

I slept well last night for which I feel thankful to our heavenly Father. I have much writing to prepare. I feel weary. My head and eyes trouble me, yet I am burdened to write many things to America and Africa. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 22

Wednesday, May 23, 1900

Sunnyside, Cooranbong

I could sleep and arose early to write letters to Elder Irwin, eight pages, [to] Elder Haskell two, sending letters and enclosures. Elder Colcord came from Maitland to see us and to arrange in regard to meetings to be held in Maitland. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 23

Thursday, May 24, 1900

Sunnyside

Could not sleep after one o’clock. I arose and dressed and prepared myself for writing. It is still raining. Has rained all night. I am so glad the burden of the mail is off, and I am desirous now to devote some time to my writing and in the publication of books. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 24

Friday, May 25, 1900

Sunnyside, Cooranbong

I looked at my watch and it was only one o’clock. I lay down again and slept a short time, then dressed and wrote fifteen pages before breakfast and several pages after breakfast. This was special matter, letters to individuals in Maitland who are convinced of the truth, yet have not courage to break away to take their position to obey the truth. I hope these letters will be a blessing to them. Still very cloudy. Had a shower. I am advised not to go to Maitland. We must go by cars. The road we have usually traveled is impossible for teams. Although the weather seems forbidding, we venture. I am glad it is not raining. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 25

Maitland. We arrived at two o’clock at station. No one to meet us. Took a cab for the mission house. All glad we came. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 26

Saturday, May 26, 1900

Maitland, Newcastle

Evening after the Sabbath. This morning I thank the Lord that He has given me some hours of sleep. The first portion of the night I was weary and very nervous. Could not sleep until about midnight. My hip is troublesome unless I have a very easy bed, and it is difficult to find this traveling about. Meetings have been held all day. Brother Robinson spoke in forenoon. They report excellently well. There is quite a number from Hamilton. This afternoon I spoke from Daniel, chapters nine and ten, showing the work of the ministering angels who came to Daniel to give him in vision the communication from God that he had not fasted and afflicted his soul and prayed most earnestly in tears and with confession and humiliation for naught. He was told his prayer was heard. Daniel, chapters 9, 10. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 27

Sunday, May 27, 1900

Maitland

I spoke in the afternoon from 2 Peter chapter one. The Lord gave me the freedom of His Holy Spirit and I feel very grateful for strength given me to speak. There is a great work to be done here. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 28

Monday, May 28, 1900

Cooranbong

Home again! I feel very thankful to the Lord for His kindness and love to the children of men. We are to remember and forget not all His benefits. We shall surely be greatly benefitted and strengthened and sustained in recounting the large mercies of the Lord. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 29

Tuesday, May 29, 1900

Sunnyside, Cooranbong, New South Wales

I could not sleep after half past eleven. Tried to sleep but could not. I arose and began to write; about six o’clock slept a short time. W. C. White, May White, the twins, and Sister Wessels rode up to Sister Lacey’s and talked with her in regard to the selling of her place. 15LtMs, Ms 93, 1900, par. 30