Ellen G. White: The Progressive Years: 1862-1876 (vol. 2)

A Marriage in the White Family

While James and Ellen were in Battle Creek between camp meeting appointments in 1870, they helped celebrate a wedding in the family. James presided at the ceremony in which Edson White and Emma McDearmon were joined in holy wedlock. The newlyweds, both 21, would live in Wright. James and Ellen were soon off to the camp meeting in Clyde, Ohio. From the campground Ellen wrote to the couple and gave invaluable counsel, for it touched on points easily and frequently overlooked: 2BIO 310.1

You, my children, have given your hearts to one another unitedly; give them wholly, unreservedly, to God. In your married life, seek to elevate one another, not to come down to common, cheap talk and actions. Show the high and elevating principles of your holy faith in your everyday conversations and in the most private walks of life. 2BIO 310.2

Be careful ever, and tender of the feelings of one another. Do not allow either of you, for even the first time, a playful bantering, joking, censuring of one another. These things are dangerous. They wound.... The wound may be concealed; nevertheless the wound exists and peace is being sacrificed, and happiness endangered when it could be easily preserved. 2BIO 310.3

Edson, my son, guard yourself and in no case manifest the least disposition savoring of a dictatorial, overbearing spirit. It will pay to watch your words before speaking. This is easier than to take them back or efface their impression afterward.... 2BIO 310.4

Ever speak kindly; do not throw into the tones of your voice that which will be taken by others as irritability. Modulate even the tones of your voice. Let only love, gentleness, and mildness be expressed in your countenance and in your voice. Make it a business to shed rays of sunlight, but never leave a cloud. 2BIO 310.5

Emma will be all to you you can desire if you are watchful and give her no occasion to feel distressed and troubled and doubt the genuineness of your love. Yourselves can make your happiness, or lose it. You can, by seeking to conform your life to the Word of God, be true, noble, elevated, and smooth the pathway of life for each other.—Letter 24, 1870. 2BIO 310.6

Then, directing her words particularly to Edson, she closed: 2BIO 310.7

God help you, my much loved son, to see the force of my advice and counsel to you. Be careful every day of your words and acts. Yield to each other. Yield your judgment sometimes, Edson; do not be persistent even if your course appears just right to yourself. You must be yielding, forbearing, kind, tender hearted, pitiful, courteous, ever keeping fresh the little courtesies of life, the tender acts, the tender, cheerful, encouraging words. And may the best of heaven's blessings rest upon you both, my dear children, is the prayer of your mother.—Ibid. 2BIO 311.1