Ellen G. White: The Lonely Years: 1876-1891 (vol. 3)

Oh, To Know What To Do!

Ellen White did not relish traveling to Europe, especially in time to attend the missionary council in September. “To travel across the continent in the heat of summer and in my condition of health,” she wrote, “seemed almost presumptuous.”—Ibid., September 15, 1885. How she wished for positive guidance to know what course to follow: 3BIO 288.5

As the appointed time for starting drew near, my faith was severely tested. I so much desired someone of experience upon whom I could rely for counsel and encouragement. My courage was gone, and I longed for human help, one who had a firm hold from above, and whose faith would stimulate mine. By day and by night my prayers ascended to heaven that I might know the will of God, and have perfect submission to it. Still my way was not made clear; I had no special evidence that I was in the path of duty, or that my prayers had been heard.—Ibid. 3BIO 288.6

As the time for final decision was at hand, W. C. White slipped away from Oakland and spent a few days at Healdsburg. He spoke courage to his mother. He bade her look to the past, when, under the most forbidding circumstances, she had moved out by faith according to the best light she had, and the Lord strengthened and supported her. Of the experience she reported: 3BIO 288.7

I did so, and decided to act on the judgment of the General Conference, and start on the journey, trusting in God. My trunk was packed, and I returned with him to Oakland. Here I was invited to speak to the church Sabbath afternoon. I hesitated; but these words came to me with power, “My grace is sufficient for you.” The struggle was hard, but I consented. I then felt that I must seek God most earnestly. I knew that He was able to deliver in a manner that I could not discern. 3BIO 289.1

In [my] thus trusting, my fears were removed, but not my weakness. I rode to the church and entered the desk, believing that the Lord would help. While speaking, I felt that the everlasting arms were about me, imparting physical strength and mental clearness to speak the word with power. The love and blessing of God filled my heart, and from that hour I began to gather strength and courage.—Ibid. 3BIO 289.2

Writing of the experience in her diary, she said, “I was no longer uncertain. I would venture to go with the party across the plains.”—Manuscript 16a, 1885. There were twelve who left Oakland for the East on Monday, July 13. Among them, of course, were her son Willie, his wife, Mary, and their daughter, Ella. There was also Miss Sara McEnterfer, whom Ellen chose to go with her as a traveling companion not only across the country but also to Europe. 3BIO 289.3