Ellen G. White: The Early Years: 1827-1862 (vol. 1)

Ellen's Confrontation

What would this 17-year-old girl who had been given a vision do—a vision that presented information contrary to her own thinking and contrary to what was now held by the Advent believers generally in the Portland area? In recounting the experience two years later in her letter to Joseph Bates, she told of how God instructed her to deliver the message to the band. She also related her reaction: 1BIO 61.6

I shrank from it. I was young, and I thought they would not receive it from me.—Ibid. 1BIO 61.7

So instead of remaining at home, for she knew a meeting was to be held there that night, she got into a sleigh and rode three or four miles to the home of a friend. There, hidden in seclusion, she felt she would avoid her responsibility. Knowing how the Adventists in the Portland area generally looked on the October 22 experience, she feared the prospects of setting before them any view that would be in conflict. 1BIO 61.8

At her friend's home she found Joseph Turner, leader of the Adventists in the Portland area and an important Millerite editor. He had recently reached the conclusion that the Bridegroom had come and prophecy was being fulfilled. Ellen knew nothing of Turner's position, which her vision actually supported. 1BIO 62.1

As she later recalled, he inquired how she was and if she was in the way of her duty. She knew she was not. Ignoring the questions, she hastened upstairs to a bedroom where she secluded herself. A little later in the day Turner went to her room. She wrote: 1BIO 62.2

When he came up, he asked if I was to be at the meeting [at her parents’ home] [Prior to October 22 and for a time following, the harmon home at 44 clark street was one of the meeting places for the advent believers.] that night. 1BIO 62.3

I told him, “No.” 1BIO 62.4

He said he wanted to hear my vision and thought it duty for me to go home. 1BIO 62.5

I told him I should not. He said no more, but went away. I thought, and told those around me, if I went I should have to come out against his views, thinking he believed with the rest. I had not told any of them what God had shown me.—Ibid. 1BIO 62.6

How she suffered in body and mind that day! It seemed to her that God had forsaken her. Finally she promised the Lord that if He would give her strength to ride home that night she would at the first opportunity deliver the message He had given to her. He did give her strength. She did ride home that night, but it was late when she got there, and the meeting was over and the people were gone. Not a word was said to her by her family about the meeting or what was presented or how many attended. She later learned that only a few had been present. 1BIO 62.7

At the next meeting held in her parents’ home she recounted in careful detail what had been shown to her in the vision. What a relief this brought to the Adventists in Portland! They knew Ellen; they knew her family. They had heard that a vision had been given to her, and when they heard it from her own lips they accepted what she told them as a message from God. It met a need in their experience. According to James White there were about sixty [As the harmon home in portland was small, it could accommodate less than half this number. Arrangements must have been made for a more commodious meeting place for her to relate her views. This is suggested in her account of a meeting where william foy, who had received two visions some three years before, heard her relate her first vision, as recounted by her in an interview in 1906. See appendix B for Foy's experience.] belonging to the Advent band in Portland who accepted the vision and through it regained their confidence in the fulfillment of prophecy concerning October 22, 1844 (A Word to the Little Flock, 22). 1BIO 62.8

It would seem that the first telling of the vision in her parents’ home in Portland took place within a few days of the vision itself, which she later pinpointed as having occurred in December, 1844. Events took place in rapid succession. In her biographical account she stated: 1BIO 63.1

About one week after this the Lord gave me another view, and showed me the trials I must pass through; that I must go and relate to others what He had revealed to me; that I should meet with great opposition, and suffer anguish of spirit. Said the angel, “The grace of God is sufficient for you; He will sustain you.”—Spiritual Gifts, 2:35. 1BIO 63.2

This vision troubled her much, for in it she was commissioned to go out among the people and present the truths that God had revealed to her. Her health was poor; she was in constant bodily suffering; tuberculosis ravaged her lungs and gave every appearance that she was “marked for the grave.” Her family was without money; it was midwinter in Maine. She was timid and entertained serious misgivings about traveling and coming before the people with the claim to have had visions. 1BIO 63.3

For several days and far into the night Ellen prayed that God would remove the burden from her and place it upon someone more capable of bearing it. But constantly the words of the angel sounded in her ears: “‘Make known to others what I have revealed to you.’”—Life Sketches of James White and Ellen G. White (1880), 194. Recalling the experience, she wrote: 1BIO 63.4

It seemed impossible for me to accomplish this work that was presented before me; to attempt it seemed certain failure. The trials attending it seemed more than I could endure. How could I, a child in years, go forth from place to place unfolding to the people the holy truths of God? My heart shrank in terror from the thought.—Ibid. 1BIO 63.5

Oh, how welcome death would have been, for it would have released her from the responsibilities that were crowding in upon her! She talked with her father of her perplexities. He repeatedly assured her that if God had called her to labor in other places He would not fail to open the way for her. But to Ellen it seemed impossible to submit to the commission. 1BIO 64.1

Soon the peace of God that she had enjoyed left her; for a time she even refused to attend the meetings held in her home. One evening she was persuaded to be present. John Pearson encouraged her to surrender her will to the will of God. In her distress she could not muster courage to bring her own will into play. But now her heart united with the petitions of her friends. She later recounted: 1BIO 64.2

While prayer was offered for me, that the Lord would give me strength and courage to bear the message, the thick darkness that had encompassed me rolled back, and a sudden light came upon me. Something that seemed to me like a ball of fire struck me right over the heart. My strength was taken away, and I fell to the floor. I seemed to be in the presence of the angels. One of these holy beings again repeated the words, “Make known to others what I have revealed to you.”—Life Sketches of Ellen G. White, 71. 1BIO 64.3

When Ellen regained her consciousness, Elder Pearson, who because of rheumatism could not kneel, stood and declared: 1BIO 64.4

“I have seen a sight such as I never expected to see. A ball of fire came down from heaven, and struck Sister Ellen Harmon right on the heart. I saw it! I saw it! I can never forget it. It has changed my whole being. Sister Ellen, have courage in the Lord. After this night I will never doubt again.”—Ibid. 1BIO 64.5