Ellen G. White: The Early Years: 1827-1862 (vol. 1)

Chapter 29—(1861) Pointed Reproof and Heartfelt Confessions

It had been with some contentment and relaxation that Ellen White had looked forward to the winter of 1860 and into 1861. “I thought I understood my duty,” she wrote later. 1BIO 432.1

I pressed my dear babe to my heart and rejoiced that at least for one winter I should be released from any great responsibility, for it could not be my duty to travel in winter with my infant.—Testimonies for the Church, 1:246. 1BIO 432.2

But with John Herbert snatched from them the outlook seemed gloomy. This sense came not alone because of the loss of the child, but because of the condition of the church. Satan was striving to the utmost to hurt the church, and if possible, destroy it. Nor was she alone in her feelings of despair. She wrote: 1BIO 432.3

About this time, my husband, as he reviewed the past, began to lose confidence in almost everyone.... One Sabbath morning, as he was going to our place of worship, such an overpowering sense of injustice came over him that he turned aside and wept aloud, while the congregation waited for him.—Ibid., 1:247. 1BIO 432.4

She explained: 1BIO 432.5

Our happiness ever depends upon the state of the cause of God. When His people are in a prosperous condition, we feel free; but when they are backslidden and there is discord among them, nothing can make us joyful. Our whole interest and life have been interwoven with the rise and progress of the third angel's message. We are bound up in it, and when it does not prosper, we experience great suffering of mind.—Ibid., 1:246, 247.

She named the cause of their low state of feelings: 1BIO 433.1

From the commencement of our labors we have been called to bear a plain, pointed testimony, to reprove wrongs and spare not. And all the way there have been those who have stood in opposition to our testimony, and have followed after to speak smooth things, daub with untempered mortar, and destroy the influence of our labors. The Lord would rein us up to bear reproof, and then individuals would step right in between us and the people to make our testimony of no effect. Many visions have been given to the effect that we must not shun to declare the counsel of the Lord, but must occupy a position to stir up the people of God, for they are asleep in their sins.—Ibid., 1:247.