Ellen G. White: The Early Years: 1827-1862 (vol. 1)

Ellen Hits an All-Time Low in Discouragement

She wrote of their experience: 1BIO 135.1

We endeavored to keep up good courage and trust in the Lord. I did not murmur.... One day when our provisions were gone, husband went to his employer to get money or provisions. It was a stormy day, and he walked three miles and back in the rain, passing through the village of Brunswick, where he had often lectured, carrying a bag of provisions on his back, tied in different apartments.

As he entered the house very weary my heart sank within me. My first feelings were that God had forsaken us. I said to my husband, “Have we come to this? Has the Lord left us?” I could not restrain my tears, and wept aloud for hours until I fainted.—Ibid., 242. 1BIO 135.2

The young mother had reached an all-time low. Why, oh, why were their lives so hard when they had been dedicated to the cause of God? Regaining consciousness, she felt the cheering influence of the Spirit of God and regretted that she had sunk so low under discouragement. Recounting the experience, she wrote that “we desire to follow Christ and be like Him; but we sometimes faint beneath trials and remain at a distance from Him. Suffering and trials bring us nigh to Jesus. The furnace consumes the dross and brightens the gold.”—Ibid., 243. 1BIO 135.3

For six months they maintained their home in the Howland residence, but it was indeed a trying time. According to James, he suffered more in mind and body than he could show with pen and paper (JW to Leonard and Elvira Hastings, April 27, 1848). 1BIO 135.4

Then James and Ellen discovered a true understanding of what their difficult time was all about. She had thought that now that they had a child it would be impossible for her to travel and a change must come about in their program. A vision from God revealed the purpose of the trials they were facing: 1BIO 135.5

I was shown that the Lord had been trying us for our good, and to prepare us to labor for others; that He had been stirring up our nest, lest we should settle down in ease, and that our work was to labor for souls; that if we had been prospered, home would be so pleasant that we would be unwilling to leave it to travel, and that we had been suffering trial to prepare us for still greater conflicts that we would suffer in our travels.—Ibid., 243. 1BIO 135.6

A heart-rending experience enforced the message of the vision. Henry was taken very ill and soon lapsed into unconsciousness. Nothing they or their friends could do brought relief. Recognizing that they had made their little Henry “an excuse for not traveling and laboring for the good of others,” they feared that God was about to remove the basis for their excuses. With the agonizing prayer of faith they pledged God that if the child's life were spared they would go forth trusting in Him wherever He might send them. By faith they claimed the promises of God. From the hour of this resolution and consecration the fever turned, and Henry began to recover. Wrote Ellen White: 1BIO 136.1

Light from heaven was breaking through the clouds, and shining upon us again. Hope revived. Our prayers were graciously answered.—Ibid., 244. 1BIO 136.2