Lt 90, 1890

White, W. C.

Oakland, California

April 30, 1890

Previously unpublished.

Dear Willie:

Another hard night has passed. I had congestion of the lungs all day. Last night the pain of a week ago came back, relieved only by plasters. It looks rather hard now to think of crossing the Rocky Mountains. I am losing courage to attend camp meetings. Miscalculations in regard to preparations exposes me to weeks of sickness. I must go begging thoughtfulness in my case, begging to be cared for, begging a way be made for me. I always have lived and worked and they suppose I always will, so I have to plead and explain; and I am sick of the whole matter when worked within an inch of my life because of the resistance and unbelief of my brethren. Then travel, and those who do not know the cause of sickness say, Why doesn’t the Lord heal Sister White? Why is she so feeble? 6LtMs, Lt 90, 1890, par. 1

The time has come to call a halt. Books I have no ambition or anxiety for, since the management of Volume 4 [The Great Controversy] last year. I have no burden on this line and would as soon dismiss all my workers except Marian. I think this is best. To force myself into Battle Creek to stand under the pressure I have had to endure at the great heart of the work at home and abroad is a sad picture for me to look on in memory’s hall. I want to escape from it all and, like a tired child, lie down and rest. 6LtMs, Lt 90, 1890, par. 2

Your presence, could it have been here while it has been in Battle Creek, oh, how highly it would have been appreciated. I never saw the need of wise labor as now in California. 6LtMs, Lt 90, 1890, par. 3

I go to St. Helena this morning. Would I had gone there two weeks ago. I can do nothing now, neither use pen nor voice, but as to plan in the future, I simply cannot. 6LtMs, Lt 90, 1890, par. 4

Mother.

Send this to Edson, if you think best. I put no dependence on anybody or anything. 6LtMs, Lt 90, 1890, par. 5

Mother.